now......bak to your normal entry. this i have alot to say to you. it's not just as a teenager, adults will wear that mask too. everyone wears a mask, everyone is afraid. i suppose it's your way of handling things to go into yourself to find your answer. i know....this is just your way. sighs sighs......

the world is building up with sooo much negative energy. i consider myself to be very pessimistic, but at times, maybe it's not pessismism but only realism. maybe what i am is just stubborn. maybe it's just because of the way people have treated meh that i have seen things in ways that many people do not wish to say. i don't know. is it just me?

i don't disagree that humans are savage animals. in all consenses, it's true, but is that not a generalization? are you not only looking at animals at one time; when they are hungry? even the wildest of animals have the side of compassion. even the nastiest of creatures know when to stop. hm....that chinese proverb....."there will always be a taller mountain." is it not kinda of a general proverb? i have never really looked at it that way. but in a sense, i suppose what you see in that proverb is right. i've only ever seen it as just that. the mountain being an obstical greater than the one you just conquored. i don't know. i can be wrong.......strength is only what you believe it to be. strength is one of those other things that you must determine for yourself in the time that you live. social warfare.....so are you saying that those that are social are stronger? i don't know...i'm just analyzing your thoughts sentence by sentence, word by word. it's not wrong to say that people fight for current objects. i really agree. but it's not the fighting that is important, it's why they fight that i believe is important. people fight because it's about what they WANT, not what they NEED. i can still be wrong yet, but i know that all men are selfish. as you've stated, their desires drive them. hm.....the fight is never over. the fight is only ever increasing in battle. there is no time to be tired, but you will be. your fountain of energy is not energized by this world. your fountain of energy is supposed to be ever flowing, so you shall not get tired. are you fighting the right battle? there are many battles that are meant to be won and lost, but are you fighting the right one? there is always going to be a cycle. even in the place of resting, there is a viscious cycle, it just seems less severe because you are sick of fighting for whatever you do not understand. those that hide are not weak. those that hide are not cowards. those that hide may have a higher possibility for living then those you consider to be those that are strong and cunning. long-awaited graves, this i do not agree. yes, everyone knows death will come and does, but the truth remains, death is not awaited. no matter how much you say you are unafraid of death, you will be afraid to leave. why? it could be of the people you'd be leaving, even though you know GOd is better than n e thing. but it's expected, not awaited because awaited to meh simply means you do nothing but sit there and wait for yourself to get old. but that's just my image. i don't know how often you read my blog, but i don't care. as i've said in my entry in ur guest book, isolation or death are no means of escape. the only escape is when you aknowledge what is going on in your life and you welcome it, even if you don't want it there. you must still be a fighter in your own house. it's like allowing an enemy to come in to eat dinner, even though every step of their's only causes more suspicion. only on earth does the ying and the yang every collide but exsist as one. only on earth that people allow darkness and light to be compromised. ONLY ON EARTH!!!. i may be wrong yet again, but i really hope you read my thoughts.