i think i have a name for my mr. foxy. keke^^ his name is wei wei. or something along the lines of being heroic. like "ley ho wai" but that's just cantonse. but my fox's name is in mando. wei wei. keke^^ at least i'm feeling a bit better. but i think i want to sleep now. kind of exhausted. so yeah. keke^^
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
talking to yanny. telling her how i feel sooo shitty and all. and she says that it's prolly because i never really got over my ex. and half of that is because i haven't found someone new to replace that void i feel.
sighs. but it's not my time to look for a soul-mate. someone that can fill the void, isn't my decision on choosing. it's not my job. my job now is to be a good student.
i feel royally kicked in the ass by my own emotions. sighs sighs.
bri, i think your right. i do torment myself. i do it as if it is a punishment on myself. sighs sighs.
sighs sighs. i wish i was blind! i wish all i would worry about would be what i wish i could see. sighs sighs.
i wish i was deaf, so i wouldn't hear anything and be affected. and naturally, if i was deaf, i wouldn't be able to talk.
sighs sighs. falling into depression, i can feel it in my bones. it's the road i'm heading down now. i just hope that when i wake up i won't feel sooo shitty tomorrow.
sighs. but it's not my time to look for a soul-mate. someone that can fill the void, isn't my decision on choosing. it's not my job. my job now is to be a good student.
i feel royally kicked in the ass by my own emotions. sighs sighs.
bri, i think your right. i do torment myself. i do it as if it is a punishment on myself. sighs sighs.
sighs sighs. i wish i was blind! i wish all i would worry about would be what i wish i could see. sighs sighs.
i wish i was deaf, so i wouldn't hear anything and be affected. and naturally, if i was deaf, i wouldn't be able to talk.
sighs sighs. falling into depression, i can feel it in my bones. it's the road i'm heading down now. i just hope that when i wake up i won't feel sooo shitty tomorrow.
sighs, lately, i've been talking about sadness/ broken heartedness. and now today, out of all days of being soo happy for soo long, i feel like shit. sighs. i have not run dry of happiness, but stuff that has happen just leaves me in shambles. i'm left in tears. sighs sighs. i feel like crap. sighs sighs.
today's events and the sudden turn of emotions. sighs sighs.
today's events and the sudden turn of emotions. sighs sighs.
- woke up at 7 sumthing today. it's one of the first times in a long while that i don't remember the total exact time i woke up at. i think it was around 7:14.
- went on the pc for a very very long long time, and my mommy started yelling at me because i used it till about 1 in the afternoon. she says i was one the comp for too long and that i'm going to go blind. i don't blame her. but i've been very frustrated lately. so i just lost my patience and screamed back, but she thought it was just a lack of sleep.
- went to go eat lunch at about like 1:50ish. watched the olympics swimming competition while i ate my rice, brocolli, chicken and potatoes.
- my sister came home at around 2:11ish. we watched like two episodes of futurama and then i feel asleep till fourish.
- my daddy came home around 4:10ish as he normally does. i called val at 4:02ish. but she didn't pick up. but, she called me right after my daddy stepped into the house. she told me she was going to pick me up. first she said five mins, but then i complained and she said okay, 15 mins. keke^^
- okay, from then, we went to sq1. keke^^ haddn't been there in sucha long long time. i was happy at frist.
- well val and i wanted to go ddring at microplay. so yeah, she said let's just get some change. but i didn't have n e so i went to buy something first. i bought a stuffed fox. i'm completely broke now. i spent $40 on it. it's the only thing i've ever spent sooo much on for myself. i've never bought anything more than 25ish for myself before.
- so then val screwed up on the ddr machine. but hey, it was fun. keke^^ and i chose all the songs i knew, even though val hadda save my ass because i wasn't trying hard enough. keke^^ kinda lost my mood for all things great and happy after that.
- hm, as we were leaving sq1, i see my ex.
- i was feeling miserable after that. out of all days.....i see my ex on the day that i by something that reminded me of him. then we went to br to cheer my mood up. didn't work. i saw his sister there. sighs sighs.
and that's the end of my day. now i sit in front of the pc now to type out my day. sighs sighs. i feel sooo miserable!
i think i have screwed up royally on my layout. args args. i think i will end up just sticking to like something hideous. sighs sighs. making your own pretty layout is pretty difficult. taking someone else's and adding the right tags are confusing. args args. well for the rest of the summer, i will be a nerd and stay at home and study html. args args.
for now i will have to live with such an ugly layout. args args. i think i'll haveta change my bk color. args args. but it's like totally not letting me do it. so i'm like completely pissed off. args args. i spent like sucha long time trying to fix it. but nothing works on this stupid site. i'm not good at html, i'm just a pass when it comes to html codes. args args. and blogger is sooo confusing that none of this crap makes sense to me. none of it's codes make sense to me. maybe using some other journal program would be easier for me. at least for this html almost illiterate fool. args args.
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