sighs sighs. i don't know, but i can't seem to shake of my mind that i'm just meant for something.

ever since i was young, i was a christian. never in my mind, was there a doubt that JESUS was GOD. yes, there was doubts, but maybe there was a meaning for me to have believed since i was young. let's see, i never had friends when i was young, but yet i only became a lil bit bitter, but yet, i don't hate. slowly and gradually, that bitterness turned into anger. that anger slowly turned in to annoyance. and later on, that annoyance turned into acceptance. sighs sighs.

it's weird how things so sever could just turn so minor. maybe it comes with age and called maturity. sighs sighs i still can't believe i sounded soooo harsh, i'm really really sorry....

see, i don't even know why i even said those things to bessie. i know i shoulda been there to give her a shoulder, but instead, i gave her a slap on the face. maybe it's because everyone was afraid to say the truth, and all she wanted to hear was what she wanted to hear. but yet i think i did the wrong thing. i wuz kinda frustrated at the moment when i said that to her. i hope she'll forgive me. sighs sighs.

it's funnay how when u have the affection of someone, when they show it in ways that you do not want, that well, u just don't want that affection at all. isn't it funnay how that when you don't want to hear something, you are going to hear it said. i am really sorry i said that, and you'll prolly be angry at me for lyphe for saying that, and that's prolly why i loose friends, but if you really taste my words, u'll understand that that's just the way they see you. they see you as that precious budding flower, the one growing to be soo beautiful. they can't handle that they might haveta one day give that flower away.

sighs sighs, just finished writing a thought to bessie. sighs sighs. i hope she forgives meh, i really didn't mean to sound soo blunt, i didn't mean to sound so harsh, i didn't want to lecture you. sighs sighs. it just came out that way because i'm also bitter at the world at the present moment. i'm still bitter about everything. i'm sorry that i came out soo strong, but everytime i hear everyones problem, and many problems are still the same. i mean, yeah, alcohol abuse, physical abuse, words just said that hurt. it's all the same, it's still problems. it's all aroused because you don't accept or the other person doesn't accept. i didn't mean it to sound harsh, even though harsh realities are the same everywhere. i couldn't put them in words that hurt less. u prolly hate meh now, i'm sorry