Poor Little Critter

aw.....my mommy doesn't like Mr. Foxy. that's sooo sad. my sister doesn't like him either. args args. that sux. args args.

yeah.....it's the Mr. Foxy. it's the same one that Tony has la. keke^^ yeah....i've always loved that fox. args

my favourite animal is the fox now. but args....really stop liking guys that look like a fox one way or another. args args. blah......

quality of a fox. cunning, playful, charming.....and above all....if they are quite confident....they will be deceitful. args args......but i think that can go for almost anyone though......blah.....

August 31st and September 1st

well, let's see what's sooo important about those dates....hm......i have skool registration on those days. hm.

but it ends at three n e ways....and i'll be home way before then anyways. so yeah. keke^^ the only thing i'm worried about is being broke. i have absolutely no money left at all. not even a penny. well maybe just a quarter....but well nothing is that cheap in this world......tax already takes away it's value anyways. so a penny is actually worthless in today's society. but if i went around everywhere picking up a penny off of every street....wow......i could get rich pretty quickly. keke^^

well hm.....oh wellz.....

well i think i'll be registering on the 31st.....it starts at 12.....i'll prolly go round 11:45ish n e ways. keke^^ it's all good. keke^^

Wow, So "NG LO LAI"

args, it is suspicious that the only time i buy something that reminds me of him i see him. but meh......maybe it's just telling me that it's not meant to be. maybe it's just a tease. it's to show me that i can have parts of my memory back....but i cannot ever have all of what i used to have.

to me i think it's a sign telling me that there are better things in life than to dwell in the past. he can treat me nothing more than a friend. i should be grateful for just that. i hate loosing friends. even though i lost his best friend to his own personal war. sighs. it's tragic how many people just don't understand love.

i don't know if yanny's right. but to me, accepting someone to me, means to fully acknowledge that they are human. i mean....i agree on that fact. but i do not agree that not every human is love worthy. i believe that in order for me to fully accept something as the way things are is to find something to love about the situation first. i don't know....to me.....the only thing important in any relationship is love. if i have no love for you, i cannot build trust.....if i cannot build trust.....i could not be a very loyal friend.

meh....well moving on....chugga chugga chugga chugga chu chu.........keke^^

Mr. Wei Wei Foxy

keke^^ i never noticed this, but as i say that fox that i bought......it's sounds like i'm saying.....Mr. WAY WAY foxy. keke^^ oh wellz. that's not my intention. Wei Wei comes from a name that know. but i won't say who. i think most people already know. keke^^ but either way. moving on now. keke^^

getting happier! keke^^ sucha great sign. was very upset last night. even more confused and frustrated this morning. keke^^ but now, i don't feel it.

it's sad though, i know the next time that something like this happens to me, it will be way worst unless i get over it and move on. but i thought i already moved on....i guess i haven't yet

wow. this sux. i cried and moped around the house for like 8 months....and i'm still not over this guy. wow......no guy is worth this much pain....well i know one guy, but he already died for me and washed away my sins. yes, all you haters of christ out there.....hear me shout......I AM NOT PERFECT!!!!! I AM A SINNER!!!!! I BELIEVE IN GOD!!!!!! I AM A CHRISTIAN!!!!! I HAVE BEEN WASHED BY THE BLOOD OF JESUS CHRIST, MY LORD, MY SAVIOUR!!!!!! yes, i know i didn't need to say that.....but by seeing those words......it really reaffirms who i am. and i need no acknowledgement from anyone in this world except GOD. it's a reassurance that makes me feel alot better.

back to the who blowing cash on fox issue, i don't think i will ever do it again.....unless it's that skirt from esprit.....keke^^ val......i don't think i'd ever find it though. i think i'll just haveta get it tailored then. keke^^ if i want it that bad....i think i can afford to get a tailor even if i do not find it in esprit. sighs sighs. i liked that skirt.

What to Buy

well my cd player busted a long time ago. well more like cause i dropped in one too many times and yeah. but even before i dropped it a gazillion times, it skipped. i couldn't go jogging with it, i couldn't take it to the gym with me. it just skipped like crazy! args args. so then i went to best buy and they gave me a gift card for 103.09$. there are sooo many things i want to buy with my card. top of my list being this mp3 player by panasonic for 149.99$. so including tax it would be more like 172.50$. blah. so velly evil. but meh, taxes suck bum bum like totally!!!

well my mommy totally digs CSI: LV. so my sister and i were debating whether or not it was worth it. i say it is because my mommy just loves the show. it's the first show she sits and watches. it's sooo velly great. she normally sleeps through ever tv program. even if it is a chinese movie. keke^^

my whole family wants a digital camera. so basically, we won't get something cheap. and i know it's not worth buying a camera here because the ones in HK are sooo much better. but when/if i go to HK in two years, would i even be able to afford a camera? hm. args.......i think my best option of going to any uni is to go to guelph. so long all my buddies!!!! won't be coming back for a while. but that's not for another year. and plus, next year i'm moving to brampton n e ways. so if you want great shopping discounts and don't mind to go shopping in outlet stores, you can come round my house. keke^^ there are sooo many outlet stores!!!! sooo velly velly awesome!!!! oh yeah, my house is also just around the corner from heartland mall. keke^^

but besides that, should i be selfish and just buy sumthing for myself or sumthing my whole family would want? hm.

AT Home Again

well, today, i didn't do alot. was quite fun even though i was bored half the time. blah. well stayed around the house around for a while. cleaned up my room after long hours of nagging by my mommy. args. sorry for the previous entry. i was like completely furious and frustrated. not a good time to yell at me. the morning, is most definately the worst time to nag at me. first of all, i am a complete morning and evening person. i hate afternoons. all i want to do in the afternoon is sleep the entire time. so yeah. most definately not an afternoon person. see, if you nag at me in the morning, i just get super hyped up about it and i just don't think. yeah. i'm pretty irrational in the morning. so yeah....keke^^ bad time to pick.

well after that. we had some breakfast/lunch type thing. so yeah. keke^^ it was sorta really really funny. keke^^ mommy hadda go to da docs to see if she had something wrong with her cholesterol. which is totally the case because she eats non-stop. but well, now, doesn't cooking good food and eating good food run in the family aye? keke^^ oh wells.

besides that, we came home after going to best buy. my sister threw a total temper tantrum. she asked me for driving instructions.....out of all people, she asks me?!?!? i don't even drive. so when she got all mad at me, i got all mad at her because i was like, i don't fricken have a full liscense girl, you have no right to ask me to give you proper directions. and she should have known the directions more than me, but meh.

well we came back in one peice, after almost getting into a crash twice. once would have been someone else's fault, and the other time, would have been ours. but meh, we came back in one piece. keke^^

we came back and watched the olympics for a while. keke^^ args man, canada sucks sooo bad!!!! why does everyone pick on canada?!?!? what have we ever done to them? the sports association is sooo not athlete oriented. args args. they are total meanies. oh wellz. luckily i'm in no athletic council. keke^^

mommy got a call from work, so the three of us, mommy, sista, and i.....we took a walk to my mommy's work. wow......sooo strenuous when you haveta take the dog with you!!! and plus....it's not like i'm chasing a bus....it would have been more fun that way if i was.

all in all, didn't have that bad of a day. just not that great either. keke^^ tom's thursday!!! can't wait to go to jacky's!!!! haven't spent quality time with this chick for sucha long long time la!!! keke^^ yupz yupz.

Nagging Again

args args. now well i'll just haveta go and clean my room. well blah. my rooms pretty much clean except a pair of pants here and a shirt there. args. she complains that i wear too much clothes and i never wash them. i so do too wash my clothes! args args. if i didn't, why the hell would i have friken clean clothes to wear? args args.

i wear like 3 pair of pants a week and a new shirt a day. fucking eh! args args. i don't need this shit from my mother today! args args. fuck! val!!!! save me from this living hell!!!!! fuck!!!!! sorry for the profanity.

yeah, i will never be independant. i cannot survive in this world. holy shit. i have more street smarts and living capcity than my mother thinks. fucking aye. args args. my room will never be clean enough. nothing i do will ever be good enough. when i get a 79 she's like, why couldn't you get an 80. it's as if i wanted an 79 args. when i get an 89, she's like, why didn't you get a 90. what the hell? holy shit i hope i don't become like my mother when i grow up. i hate to nag at my kids day in and day out. fuck it.

FUCK!!!!!

sorry for the profanity......just needed to express myself. way tooo frustrated over stupid stupid matters lately. fucking hell. args args. frick....got myself started down someplace i thought i would stop. args args.

To Move On

well, it's not going to be easy. but still, i must try. hm. this time, what is it that i must learn from my lesson? difficult. very difficult. but hm. i have no idea where to start. every time when i feel like crap, there's always something that learn about myself. but what is it this time that i must learn? i'm more conflicted with myself than anything else. one thing i must learn is stop saying i don't care. one thing i must stop saying is that i'm okay when i'm not. keke^^ yeah val, i'm a horrible liar when it comes to my feelings. it's only because i have never mastered the skill of lying to friends. even if i lie to you the only thing i can say is, "oh, i'm just tired. don't worry about it." and many times, i've done this; halfly because i was tired, and halfly because i am just htinking tooo muchie. keke^^

hm. BR on the 31st ma? aren't you going to have jet lag? do you want some of my friends to come to ma? what about your friends too? than we could have like a whole party at BR! keke^^

i'm completely broke now. spent tooo muchie on a stuffed animal. almost typed in the word stupid. but i love that fox. args. and i haveta stop falling for guys that remind of me of a fox. args args. most people that look like foxes are like them too. cunning, fast thinking and playful! args args.

i'm not depressed, but i'm in dispair i'm assumming. i woke up today, and the weirdest thing. you know when old people die and you can see 3 parts white in their eyes? in canto it's called "sam an bact". sorry, i'm not really good with canto sayings in english, but then again, i'm almost a cbc. keke^^

i finally figured that when i came to canada, i was exactly 2 and a half. so i'll say i was 3. keke^^ so for a very very small portion of my life, i lived in hk.

Time to Move On

okie dokie now. i found a way to add a title onto my posts!!! yeah yeah!!! finally aye? after soooo long, i finally have that function! yeah yeah. it's because my previous format never let me add in titles.

well yesterday, i was completely screwed up. i felt sooo bad. but now i know how i'll feel. keke^^ so for now, i'm just going to avoid him for as long as i possibly can. i did it without seeing him once ever in 2 years or at least two years. two years would have been this coming february the 20 sumthing.

well yanny was right about one thing. i haveta move on. keke^^ yeah, i moped around and cried alot for like 8 months on end.
in the past 2 years, i have gone from being extremely happy and feeling absolutely great to rock bottom. and now, i'm in a state of numbness. not the type where you don't feel n e thing, but the type where whatever is done hurts more. yeah, you know when your leg falls asleep and you try to move it but it hurts alot more? that's the type of feeling i have.

the same person that i allowed me to feel happiness beyond the greatest extent has also caused me to feel the utmost of hurt. and even as friends it still happens. wow. i wonder why i allow people like that to hurt me. blah.

well i don't believe in getting over someone by first hating them. i mean, it's natural to hate someone that causes you alot of pain, but for me, i get mad at myself for hating someone. i mean, the only type of people i can say i hate are like the blond corner in my school, but even then, i still say that they are sweetie pies. i just do not believe that someone is completely bad. it's called the ying yang affect. even someone that does alot of crimes still has some sort of compassion, even if it is in a twisted sort of way, he/she would still have compassion. if someone was almost perfect, there would still be a part of them that has human nature and sinfulness.