args...felt like a biatch....just gave my daddy attitude...=.=

gonna go sleeping soon...

gonna go to bed and try to ignore everything going through my head....args args...l8a l8a

i'll add you as my friend...don't see a problem with that.....but if you do...i won't...

where do i go to run to tell my problems? no one listens.....at least to me n e ways.....i mean...they listen....but they don't care.......

i'm only here to listen to your problems...but will you listen to mine? am i even willing to tell you n e more?

no honor among theives.

i just don't believe that....there is honor with anyone....just depends what your relationship is based on i suppose. sighs sighs...

depends how big the theif is then....and how cold he's already become....blah...gotsta sleep...sighs sighs.... hungee....and depressed....

i don't run to n e one with my problems n e more.....sighs sighs.

am i starting to care less about everything and eveyrone? sighs sighs

amd i honestely growing cold to it all? sighs sighs.

even friends use each other. the only way to not use n e one is to not know n e one at all......but meh...everyone has their shares of ups and downs...

i really know how GOD feels now.....

it hurts to love someone that sees you as nothing at all. no, not romantic love, but just love in general like caring for someone. i think everyone does know...it's a matter if they care to understand or not. blah.

people use me...you think i don't know cause i'm "too honest" blah. rubbish. if you really wanted to think.....you'd know that well...i don't care if you use me or not....i'd rather be used then have no purpose at all.....i care and if it'll make you happy and satisfied.....i'll go almost to anywhere and do anything....but of course...there is a limit to which i do not cross......i am human...and humans have limits...

nothing is worth flipping everything upside down and changing the world just to change one mistake.....therefore....i believe in no regrets.....

you won't loose her.....she's your friend...she'll always be your friend...she's in your heart. and you know it. the question is if you are in hers....she is intentionally ignoring you..so therefore...she does have you in her heart in one way or another...

have i made you determinded yet? have i reassured you what you must say? keke^^ i only question you cause i know what your answer is....i just want you to be sure what your answer is la.,,,...keke^^

i just figured that i could never leave here.....i'd miss my friends way too muchie!!!

sighs......maybe everyone's just meant to be my friend. i can't treat my boyfriend higher than i do n e one else. args....sighs sighs. maybe that's why i'll remain single for the rest of my life...or at least for the time being...sighs sighs...args args...evil!!!

ren ren dao yi hui wo bu ke yi shou de......yew.......wu liao......blah...

blah......hey...my mandarin is good for a cbc that's canto at birth....and my cantonese is still good for coming to canada at 2.......you have a problem with my conto and mando skills....yeah.....you can just go kiss my ass cause i don't need your comment is i suppose. man...i talk as if my blog is gonna talk bakie. but i know it won't....it can't...cause i don't want others to read and be able to like leave comments.... blah...

well i haveta sleep tonight.....my eyelashes are still sticking together...

yeah val....i am weird....i like the clumpy feeling of my eyelashes. i don't like it when it feels like i have nothing on. yeah...it's weird...actually...nothing i own is comfortable. and here's the reason why....if i simply just don't feel....i'll constantly question if i exsist or not....at least i feel pain....

yo....can someone tell me what loosing teeth in a dream means?!?! i've been having dreams always about rotting teeth....i'm always having dreams about loosing all my teeth....i'm always having dreams where my teeth fall out why i'm eating stuff and such...args...what does this mean??!?!?! args args......

why do i care what others think? why is it soo important to me? sighs sighs....i really gotsta go to a new church...this won't do....i'm living my life as a person that doesn't know GOD. i have no liek feeling of churchiness or whatnot. blah....gotsta go and search for a new churchie...maybe i'll end up going to urs...but maybe i on't go at all??? sighs sighs....most likely going to go to bcbc cause i'm moving to brampton n e ways.

unless i marry soon....i won't ever leave here.....but do i really wanna leave? so i wanna leave canada and come back later? i don't belong here cause everyone says i'm too chinesie....and if i go back...i know i am too white...what the hell?!?!? a rgs args.......i don't belong n e more....

args...what will i do??? how can anyone help me? so i see....i am chronically depressed....args....or maybe it's just that i am a thinker that thinks about everything and everyone and nothing all at thes same time. it's frustrating. it's always about me me and me......why am i sooo selfish? args.....i haven't posted a happy thought for a long long time.....wow...sighs sighs.....i mean...i've had happy times....but most others....i'm notthat happy...sighs sighs....

got burnt...now my back is peeling...sigh sighs...sux ass....hope i don't really die cause of cancer!!!! args args.....

-i suppose i really am bottling myself up from everyone. i suppose i don't want to share my problems n e more., even to those that ask me, i don't tell. i really don't have the heart to tell the world of my problems. sighs sighs. i don't know why.....but what happened to me? why am i sooo afraid?

sux ass....args.....i am stressed....and i just can't stop eating..a.rgs....substance abuse....args args....

hm....can't understand why....but i really miss the way i used to be. but then again....everythign's been soo different since all that coulda happeneed didn't. blah. now i must say that this is my blah factor. can't stop thinking...but i'm not thining about what i should know for chem...blah blah....tired...sighs sighs....

don't know why and don't know how....but i seem to put on masacara continually....and i can't help it cause day after day....i can't stand to not have it...args.....substance intoxication....args.....more like obsession...grrr.r.....