you are sooo nice to me. you treat me like an actual friend. is there something you want from me? is there something you want to use me for again? are you trying to use me? you leave me thinking about your motives. the way you treat my friends is soooo oddly different from the way you treat me. sighs sighs. i really did care. and i really do care....and i think i will always care some bit. blah......
imagine this....
on your wedding day. you are about to make the person you love become your spouse, for all of eternity. yes, i know that wedding vows mean sooo little to sooo many people now days, but just think of how much it would mean if you all your heart and soul was with this person and that person's with you..... now imagine, you are about to get married, and the priest asks, "does anyone object?" and then all your past "lovers" or people that have a peice of your heart come up and say, yes i object. each and everyone says that a little part of him/her belongs to them.
i don't know.......i just think tooo muchie....grrrr....
oi......think i'm back to feeling normal, not happy nor depressed, just.....typical.....and don't bother asking me to define it......i won't be able to explain.....
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
party or halloween?!?!
blah.....i suppose i'll ask about it with my parents. they'll all prolly be pissed off if i went to that party coming home all drunk and crap. then if i go out on halloween and crap....they'd bitch at me for that too.
i think my parent's answer will be no for either cases....unless they don't notice the date....but i doubt that they won't. my daddy would probably compare me with my sister saying how lil she went out at my age and stuff like that. my mommy would probably try to convince my dad to let me to go, but ultimately even if he says yes to let me go, i'd feel like crap to go on either day....so what's the point. i don't know if n e one understands that feeling, but i'm pretty sure val would understand....but then again, she's kinda grown used to it kinda. blah....i don't know......i don't talk to strangers, especially good looking older strangers that i've never talked to on-line before. so yeah.....i don't think i'll have much fun doing either really.
i'll have fun doing either or, but when i come home...holy shitters, i'll be in a hell of a yelling of my life. grrr.....i just don't know what to do....i just don't know. sighs sighs.
there's a part of me that really really wants to go because it would be another social event, but then there's another great part of me that says no no no because i really really really want to go. args.....but then again, i'm christian.....if i go out on halloween, what kinda image am i giving off? i mean, to many christian's out there, they really think it's no big deal, but is it really not that big? i think not....but that's just the way i was raised, and if people wanna convince me otherwise, you can go ahead and try, but i'm sure i won't budge. i don't believe in dressing up as something dead or evil. why the hell would you want that?!?! i think it's utterly stupid, but if people enjoy it, well that's what they do with their past time. i don't give out candy, so don't come round my house, i won't give you n e thing. i'm anal on things like this.....so yeah....
i think my parent's answer will be no for either cases....unless they don't notice the date....but i doubt that they won't. my daddy would probably compare me with my sister saying how lil she went out at my age and stuff like that. my mommy would probably try to convince my dad to let me to go, but ultimately even if he says yes to let me go, i'd feel like crap to go on either day....so what's the point. i don't know if n e one understands that feeling, but i'm pretty sure val would understand....but then again, she's kinda grown used to it kinda. blah....i don't know......i don't talk to strangers, especially good looking older strangers that i've never talked to on-line before. so yeah.....i don't think i'll have much fun doing either really.
i'll have fun doing either or, but when i come home...holy shitters, i'll be in a hell of a yelling of my life. grrr.....i just don't know what to do....i just don't know. sighs sighs.
there's a part of me that really really wants to go because it would be another social event, but then there's another great part of me that says no no no because i really really really want to go. args.....but then again, i'm christian.....if i go out on halloween, what kinda image am i giving off? i mean, to many christian's out there, they really think it's no big deal, but is it really not that big? i think not....but that's just the way i was raised, and if people wanna convince me otherwise, you can go ahead and try, but i'm sure i won't budge. i don't believe in dressing up as something dead or evil. why the hell would you want that?!?! i think it's utterly stupid, but if people enjoy it, well that's what they do with their past time. i don't give out candy, so don't come round my house, i won't give you n e thing. i'm anal on things like this.....so yeah....
funnay
i still think it's totally hillarious that my mommy thinks that i'd marry before my sister would. but i completely doubt that.
my sister is head over heals with a guy that is head over heals with her. but then again, i've never really known the guy very well. meh. but he seems like he cares for her much and i totally salute both of them. sighs. i don't know, it just seems sooo difficult to be connected to people on that level.
maybe it's cause i'm still young, but blah......i don't believe in dating. honestly, i don't. dating is like shopping and returning clothes that you have already worn. i mean, as a girl, i've seen people do this....and it's disgusting.... but yeah....i don't know.....dating is sooo much like using someone for your own benefit. i just don't know, that's how it feels to me. that's why well....i'd rather totally fall in love one day, get married, be happy for the rest of my life with the occasional super bad fight that you patch back together afterwards. but maybe it's cause i think like an old chick. meh.....i'm tooo "traditional" and my ways would probably die with me.
well see, i think my parents are doing a great job of raising me. and i don't think i'd be ashamed to say the things my parents say to me to my children. what i'm worried about is my temper, my my mom's, i'm afraid that i'll become an anal bitch about everything once something pisses me off bad. grrrr.....i can only pray that all will go well...
i pray that everyone in uni with like mid-terms have done well and will do well.
funny how things are....don't think i'll be getting rid of this account. i just can't. i've lived with this account for two years, and it will be like parting with a good friend....meh....
my sister is head over heals with a guy that is head over heals with her. but then again, i've never really known the guy very well. meh. but he seems like he cares for her much and i totally salute both of them. sighs. i don't know, it just seems sooo difficult to be connected to people on that level.
maybe it's cause i'm still young, but blah......i don't believe in dating. honestly, i don't. dating is like shopping and returning clothes that you have already worn. i mean, as a girl, i've seen people do this....and it's disgusting.... but yeah....i don't know.....dating is sooo much like using someone for your own benefit. i just don't know, that's how it feels to me. that's why well....i'd rather totally fall in love one day, get married, be happy for the rest of my life with the occasional super bad fight that you patch back together afterwards. but maybe it's cause i think like an old chick. meh.....i'm tooo "traditional" and my ways would probably die with me.
well see, i think my parents are doing a great job of raising me. and i don't think i'd be ashamed to say the things my parents say to me to my children. what i'm worried about is my temper, my my mom's, i'm afraid that i'll become an anal bitch about everything once something pisses me off bad. grrrr.....i can only pray that all will go well...
i pray that everyone in uni with like mid-terms have done well and will do well.
funny how things are....don't think i'll be getting rid of this account. i just can't. i've lived with this account for two years, and it will be like parting with a good friend....meh....
wow
i don't know why, but suddenly, i don't feel sooo happy.
sooo many problems with other people. none of it affects me personally, but yet i don't know....it makes me think about my own situation.
let's see, people always say that when they are with someone, they want to be single, but when they are single, they wish to be with someone. do you find this true for yourself? i ask this question to myself, and then when i come to think about it, i find that this statement totally does not relate to my life.
and then when i think of my answer to that question, i wonder why i think the way i think this way. and then it appears to me that i'm tooo sensitive. it appears to me that i think tooo much. then it appears to me that my friends were right, i'm just too into "relationships." simply, this is because i am in love with the idea of being in love and end up loving everything. this is not necessarily bad, and is not necessarily a good thing either. but me no noe. sighs sighs. it's weird how it comes to be in like waves of thoughts.
i dont' know, but sometimes, i just become gloomy for no apparent reason.
holy crappers guy, i realy gotsta stop rushing myself in doing things. it's not good for me. i believe in GOD. i believe in fate. i believe in destiny. but you know, even though i do believe in all these things, i most definately believe that there is a plan. but, even though there is a plan, nothing will happen if i don't take the first initial steps. it doesn't mean now, but maybe in the future. holy crap.....me say but alot. grr.....need new vocab and conjunctions and connective words.....blah.
sooo many problems with other people. none of it affects me personally, but yet i don't know....it makes me think about my own situation.
let's see, people always say that when they are with someone, they want to be single, but when they are single, they wish to be with someone. do you find this true for yourself? i ask this question to myself, and then when i come to think about it, i find that this statement totally does not relate to my life.
and then when i think of my answer to that question, i wonder why i think the way i think this way. and then it appears to me that i'm tooo sensitive. it appears to me that i think tooo much. then it appears to me that my friends were right, i'm just too into "relationships." simply, this is because i am in love with the idea of being in love and end up loving everything. this is not necessarily bad, and is not necessarily a good thing either. but me no noe. sighs sighs. it's weird how it comes to be in like waves of thoughts.
i dont' know, but sometimes, i just become gloomy for no apparent reason.
holy crappers guy, i realy gotsta stop rushing myself in doing things. it's not good for me. i believe in GOD. i believe in fate. i believe in destiny. but you know, even though i do believe in all these things, i most definately believe that there is a plan. but, even though there is a plan, nothing will happen if i don't take the first initial steps. it doesn't mean now, but maybe in the future. holy crap.....me say but alot. grr.....need new vocab and conjunctions and connective words.....blah.
twin, double...keke^^:D:P
holy crap......found someone's twin.....keke^^:D:P
kinda made my day...keke^^:D:P
stupid stupid me, but oh wellz.....
it's not good to like someone just cause they are similar to someone else.....blah...
so yeah....keke^^:D:P
meh no noe.....
well i think i'll sleep soon cause i haveta go to school early...keke^^:D:P
gotsta do a project for tom......
did i see him or was it just a look a like?!?!?
hope patty boi is safe....
kinda made my day...keke^^:D:P
stupid stupid me, but oh wellz.....
it's not good to like someone just cause they are similar to someone else.....blah...
so yeah....keke^^:D:P
meh no noe.....
well i think i'll sleep soon cause i haveta go to school early...keke^^:D:P
gotsta do a project for tom......
did i see him or was it just a look a like?!?!?
hope patty boi is safe....
psychology vs sociology
well my mommy was just talking to me about psychology and sociology. keke^^:DP and she thinks i don't know the difference between these two. keke^^:D:P how ignorant does she think i am?!?! keke^^:D:P i don't blame her for not knowing the difference, but think i didn't know?!?! she's one funny chica....keke^^:D:P
yupz yupz. gotsta like improve my mando skills.......loosing those too......blah.....
when n e whoo, my mommy was telling me that there's this woman that took both sociology and psychology and there's a diff. no duh.... when you talk about someone's psychy you are talking about their brain. it's their individual character development. their individual emotional and mental responses. where as sociology, the pre-fix of the word is soci....and normally when you see that, that is for social patterns. so basically, sociology is the social patterns within groups and or institutions. so yeah......not that big of a diff cause you study most of the same things, cept that they are just applied differently.
see, i think it's interesting to read about psychology and sociology and anthropology. on the other hand, i think it completely boring to read about physics and chem and math. well i won't say it's boring, it's more like i just don't get it. but i have a urge to read about it all....but still what time do i have to do that?!?!?
plus, to many, i'm already a living, walking, talking fact book. but i suppose the next thing i'll try to train myself to do is be a living, walking, talking dictionary.......well at least this christmas i know which book i'll be reading alot of....keke^^:D:P
plus, i gotsta read more n e ways because my writing skills suck. yeah, if they never created a thesaurus, my essays would be so unsophisticated. keke^^:D:P but at least i know my writing skills have improved. keke^^:D:P
yeah, miss carol still has my best piece of writing in my opinion. i tried hard to write that "all about me" and make it sound interesting.......do i still have it?!?! i think i'm going to print off a copy and keep it for memory sake.
oh yeah....pet peeve.....when people pronounce the japanese alcohol drink sake, like saying "for heaven's sake".....i hate that sooo much!!! it's pronounced as sa- as in the sa sound in sand.....and ke- as in k-eh. goodness gracious, man......stupid oakville people living in a bubble.....=.= oh wellz.....
yupz yupz. gotsta like improve my mando skills.......loosing those too......blah.....
when n e whoo, my mommy was telling me that there's this woman that took both sociology and psychology and there's a diff. no duh.... when you talk about someone's psychy you are talking about their brain. it's their individual character development. their individual emotional and mental responses. where as sociology, the pre-fix of the word is soci....and normally when you see that, that is for social patterns. so basically, sociology is the social patterns within groups and or institutions. so yeah......not that big of a diff cause you study most of the same things, cept that they are just applied differently.
see, i think it's interesting to read about psychology and sociology and anthropology. on the other hand, i think it completely boring to read about physics and chem and math. well i won't say it's boring, it's more like i just don't get it. but i have a urge to read about it all....but still what time do i have to do that?!?!?
plus, to many, i'm already a living, walking, talking fact book. but i suppose the next thing i'll try to train myself to do is be a living, walking, talking dictionary.......well at least this christmas i know which book i'll be reading alot of....keke^^:D:P
plus, i gotsta read more n e ways because my writing skills suck. yeah, if they never created a thesaurus, my essays would be so unsophisticated. keke^^:D:P but at least i know my writing skills have improved. keke^^:D:P
yeah, miss carol still has my best piece of writing in my opinion. i tried hard to write that "all about me" and make it sound interesting.......do i still have it?!?! i think i'm going to print off a copy and keep it for memory sake.
oh yeah....pet peeve.....when people pronounce the japanese alcohol drink sake, like saying "for heaven's sake".....i hate that sooo much!!! it's pronounced as sa- as in the sa sound in sand.....and ke- as in k-eh. goodness gracious, man......stupid oakville people living in a bubble.....=.= oh wellz.....
typing away
yeah, i didn't sleep tooo well last night again. i think tooo muchie.....=.=...grrrrr...
yeah, i'm rather going crazy, i bark like a dog and talk like a human....blah. i'm mad at my dog for eating my lip chap......grrrrr to him too. but oh wellz, he doesn't know n e better. but still....grrrrrr....
kekek^^:D:P
n e whoo.....lil ol me should be studying for a calc test that is in about and hour's time......but well, i really don't feel like studying and i'm really really tired. yeah i didn't sleep till 1 last night. i got to bed at 12, but i was staring at my "teen fa ban" for about an hour or so....
holy crap......my chinese is deteriorating sooo quickly....grrr....gotsta speak more canto.....
blah, i don't think i'll be going back to hk. maybe i'll stay here. really depends on GOD's plans...
still feel like crap.....still feeling shitty as ever. meh...typical me....
~everything is but an excuse for doing something~
yeah, i'm rather going crazy, i bark like a dog and talk like a human....blah. i'm mad at my dog for eating my lip chap......grrrrr to him too. but oh wellz, he doesn't know n e better. but still....grrrrrr....
kekek^^:D:P
n e whoo.....lil ol me should be studying for a calc test that is in about and hour's time......but well, i really don't feel like studying and i'm really really tired. yeah i didn't sleep till 1 last night. i got to bed at 12, but i was staring at my "teen fa ban" for about an hour or so....
holy crap......my chinese is deteriorating sooo quickly....grrr....gotsta speak more canto.....
blah, i don't think i'll be going back to hk. maybe i'll stay here. really depends on GOD's plans...
still feel like crap.....still feeling shitty as ever. meh...typical me....
~everything is but an excuse for doing something~
derivatives...
man....stupid calc test.....it's got me naming my entries what i'm doing in clac. stupid stupid stupid. well n e whoo......i hope i do well on this one. i hope i won't make stupid mistcakes like the ones i made at my tutoring. yeah......my tutors worried about this test cause i don't seem to know what i'm doing, well rather, i know what i'm doing, but i don't do it well. i'm nervous i'm going to blank out. sighs sighs.
calc isn't sooo hard, but it's just because i've been falling behind in math and i haven't been trying to catch up. i'll be satisfied with a high seventy this time.....but i'm still aiming for a 90!!! always shoot for the stars!!!! yeah yeah.
plus, i have never been a mathematic logical thinker in this kinda sense. i have never been good with numbers like my dad was. he can pull numbers outta his ass and make it to a logical math thinking question.....blah....
well n e whoo, i think i'm not doing tooo bad in diversity, but i'm not doing tooo hot in society. sighs sighs. should study harder. blah.
calc isn't sooo hard, but it's just because i've been falling behind in math and i haven't been trying to catch up. i'll be satisfied with a high seventy this time.....but i'm still aiming for a 90!!! always shoot for the stars!!!! yeah yeah.
plus, i have never been a mathematic logical thinker in this kinda sense. i have never been good with numbers like my dad was. he can pull numbers outta his ass and make it to a logical math thinking question.....blah....
well n e whoo, i think i'm not doing tooo bad in diversity, but i'm not doing tooo hot in society. sighs sighs. should study harder. blah.
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