now, as i sat on the can, thinking of who i am. the funniest thing just popped up in my mind. the thought of change. or strictly speaking, the change of my mind, on my decisions, and of my judgement. everyone always thinks that this lil gurly here, me, always changes my mind. and that my decisions change with the events that occur in my lyphe. for the first time, i can really just say, those peeps.....really .....am i like that? i noe i ain't. say for instance, if i chose to do sumthing, i will do sumthing; if i dun chose to do sumthing, i wun. so yeah. u can't change my mind once it's made, and if i do change, it's not by choice, unless it's to be happy. but dat's not da point.

sorry here.....i just ramble on and on about da same sh!t dat happens. i dun have many thoughts. but i just think alot about tons and tons of useless and pointless stuff. hahaha=>:D u noe....da funniest thing i believe is anger.

yes i said anger. today is a friday, well i wuz like at skool today during my fourth period lunch. man. it's the funniest thing. not funny because peeps were throwing stupid stuff like pennies and food at our caff table, but dat well......how peeps express their anger. here are a few ways of anger dat i see. my choice= to punch, or kick or slap or hit sumthing at a convenient time so that after all the anger all i'll focus on is the pain of my actions. yupz.....but many others do other choices. either a) boggle it up inside of em, swallow it.....den when one thing happens......KABOOM......everything explodes. b) to take out all their anger upon what caused them to be anger.......in this case.....revenge on those who threw food at meh...... or c) to take it all out with those who u hang around with and just talk about the whole damn thing. i personally do all three at different times, but maybe dat's just da way i see soo many stupid stuff. oh wellz.

my thoughts are stupid....so now i'm signing off.....hahaha=>:d luv ya baby......hahaha=>:D

rite now, i'm like listening to one of the only english songs i have on my play list. i don't wanna miss a thing. i guess if u live in the moment and let urself live in it everything'll be fine and u wun miss a thing. yes, through sleep, u mite be missing things, but u noe what? most chances are, u wun miss all dat much cause dey would be sleeping too. hahaha=>:D or unless dey are like meh......thinkers dat think way too much......then u have a problem. a big one. i hate thinking, but that's who i am. a thinker, a talker, and a listener..... i hate lyphe, but i love it. i wanna live, but i wanna die. i am a very controdicting person. but who ain't rite? you can be happy even if u think alot of bs and sh!t. lyphe is miserable, but it's just a task. no matter where u end up in the end, heaven or hell.....lyphe is still a task and trial.

u can prove me wrong me wrong by showing meh a happy person that has never been through any rough times. 10 outta 10 peeps have.....and if not.....dey are liars... or at least liars to themselves. being an optimist doesn't mean that u dun go through trials and hardships. u go through more in some sense, u just dun let it get to u much as much. i'm a pure pessimist. i dun think happy by nature, well i do, but now i dun. i've just let every shitty instance that has happened to meh get to meh, and i advise u, dun do dat. dun ever try to. it's not good.

well take my advice or not.......luv u all.....l8a