wow.....a mouth with such hatred, such anger, such passion. wow....i didn't know i wrote like that! hm. somehow in my mind, those words from my last entry don't even seem to be mine. yeah....boi....that entry was for you.....i wrote to you because i was angry. and i don't know. all times everyone just wishes i were happy and think less. but really, does thinking less make you happy, does it not just make you become more unrealistic. i mean.....i'm a realistic/ idealist freak. yeah. i see things just as they are....and then some. i enjoy a good laugh, but good laughs are sooo few. what i laugh at is the stupidity of my own actions. my thoughts don't do you good. my thoughts are like junk food for your mind and soul. why bother with this shit? args. but i can't stop writing, for if i do, i'll loose that release. if i have no where to go to release myself of my tensions, i will have no one. yeah. as i've said before....i will be the recluse in the very back corner where no one sees, no one knows about, no one hears. yeah. i'm not that pathetic, but obviously so, i feel lonely even though i know i'm not. but i feel empty because the friends i have now, they know nothing about me. i mean, i am willing to share, but if you are unwilling to ask to know more, what's the point. yeah. i dwell in the past living my life in fast forward. you'd say why dwell in the past? yeah, the past has made meh me, a bitter conceited little fool, you think i care? yeah i actually do, so don't you dare even saying those words bak to me, or i'll beat the shitt outta you and make you eat it up again!