okayz...pleaz don't mind the profanity in the next few sentences. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. shit shit shit shit shit shit. arg......this is a mother fucking peice of shit, i don't need this crap. fuck! really, what the hell is with it with my parents telling meh the same thing.

u've been a christian for sooo long, blah blah, what part of you seems to be christian? man, maybe dat's why i hate church. maybe that's why i hate being me. maybe it's just because i hate everything and everyone. arg!!!!

yeah yeah, my daddy has like liver problems, doctors says it mite be cancer, but to be sure, he hasta loose 10 pounds and see if his liver is still bad. yeah. and they always say that i won't cry if either of them died. will in hell they regret those words ever? they never ever will regret. they don't understand how much it hurts them. arg. do they actually think i have no heart at all? just because i can't seem to be as close to them as i am with my friends, does it mean that i love them not? what the fuck has my parents gotten into? i just wanna run away, and i don't care if i never come bak. yeah, seems to me that i have the same problem as my dad, just that my liver is still in great shape. as i've said, cancer runs in the family, i think my mommy had cancer before.....just very minor. so yeah. i won't be surprised one bit. i wanna just run away. i hate it. i can't ever be happy for long. my lyphes a fucking peice of shit, but i still have it alot betta den lots of people. maybe it's not a piece of shit, it only feels that way cause people always drag me down below that pit. arg!!!!! upset!!! going insane. arg!!!!! must calm down. i don't want another anxiety attack. arg!!! i'm finding it kinda difficult to breathe now. arg! i just haveta calm down. i hate being emotionally stressed. over just one simple thing, something repeated sooo often, i still get pissed off soo badly. GOD's always there for meh, but really, why does he let my parents say shit like dat to me? he knows it hurts me. does he make em notice dat it hurt me? da only thing i've ever done wrong is one thing that i have never been able to change for so long. a problem which my family thinks i have. a problem with speech. i have a complex when it comes to talking to my parents. arg!!! maybe i do when it comes to my parents. yeah, because everytime they do sumthing, it just stabs, no jabs a wooden stake rite into me. yeah, i remember everything, good and bad, but u noe....bad'll always stick out more for the reason being because they are bad.

GOD said not to hold grudges, so i won't. GOD said i shouldn't let my anger go beyond the light of the sun, so i won't. yeah, i'm not christian, i don't talk about GOD, i don't talk to him, i don't treasure him. yeah. bunch of bs. arg!!!!

okayz okayz....can you tell meh what you think about what sum dude saying this to meh

"i hope you do not think terrible of me for sayign this.but i have seen your picture.and from what i can see of you.....you are simply beautiful....beautiful liek a rose........but even that single rose cannot be compared to you......so beautiful i thought i saw heaven..so muhc beauty....so much so that if i had one wish in the entire world.i would not make it.for you already exist... "

i dunno if i should think it as sweet. is sum dude trying to play a trick with my mind? hahahaha=>:d oh wellz. i wun take it too muchie to heart. but it dun mean it's not flattering. hey...which gurly dun like to be like called dat kinda stuff. hehehehe=>:D it's cute and flattering i give you dat. but really, wouldn't it be betta if i knew da guy? arg....i'm kinda sick or random people coming up to meh and saying things like dis to meh now. arg. why is it soo weird. oh oh. hehehehe=>:D soo whack. oh wellz....

yupz yupz. it's cute. hehehe=>:D can't get ova it. can someone honestly tell meh what they think. and if dey even noe a guy dat would say dat to someone dat doesn't knoe em? man. hehehe=>:D

well at least i do get compliments. hehehe=>:D oh wellz. miss ya'll people. need someone who'll actually talk to meh ar!!! so yeah....well people, i'm gonna go now......hope u luve meh as much as i love you guys ar.....

skools bak!!!! yeah, its been bak for a long time now. and i suppose i've been happy for however long it's been. hm. da teacher wuz describing those that have problems. like focusing and skool problems. yeah yeah. it's kinda funnay. i wuz exactly one of dose students dat da teacher wuz describing, just dat she didn't know she wuz describing meh. it's kinda funnay. kinda weird too. she's like, some people can't handle not having structure. some people must have routine. if those people do not have it, they would go insane. their mind would just fall apart. and if you really think about it, it's soo much like it. it's weird. hehehe=>:D

at least now i'm happy, but people don't really like it when i'm happy. they think i neva shut up, hey, i still shut up. it's not my fault. hehehe=>:D well whateva.

well people, i miss ya lots. and well people dun like to read my thoughts, so you dun haveta. i think i'm gonna get myself baptised, it's the only way that will make meh continue. yes there are times when lyphe stinks, those are also GOD given. so yupz yupz. gotsta go now, l8a....