kekek^^:D:P you know me....i like to do funny stuff. now listen k??? it's sooo funnay. keke^^:D:P okie dokie. well, val called me, we talked for about like 10, 20 mins..... or so...and then she went for din din. before she went...she's like....yeah, if you get bored...call okie?!?! and i was like...sure...okelie dokelie. keke^^:D:P and then.....well let's just say......i did get bored......5 mins after that i knew she was eating din din. keke^^:D:P
yeah.....i just hadda make a laugh outta it. keke^^:D:P yupz yupz.....keke^^:D:P
yupz val.....being THAT stupid will always be remembered...keke^^:D:P yupz yupz....in my blog....so forever would it be....unless i start deleting entries and whatnot.....but i don't plan to do that....so yeah...keke^^:D:P
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Wednesday, September 22, 2004
iunno
iunno....just feel stupid i suppose. highschool drama seems sooo trivial.
coming from a friend....."sabina.... trust me, u can be annoying sometimes (im being honest) cuz ur really loud and everything, but dont doubt urself... ur actually pretty smart and wise, like i agree with alot of the same stuff u do."
i'm feeling like shit....and that's all you haveta fucking say?!?!? i'm fucking annoying?!?!? who the fuck do you think you are to me?!?! it's okay for you to be fucking loud and everything....but when i'm happy about something i can't be loud and happy about it?!?!? who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!?! yeah....said to me by a friend i know as natalie cargill......args....i know she was being honest.....but i don't need to fucking read that! by just saying that....she's just saying i'm rather unwanted and i shouldn't be happy about things. sighs.
sighs...... feeling more and more bad for myself......
all i'm doing is crying now....i'm like having a complete break down.....
i'm going to go take a shower now......
coming from a friend....."sabina.... trust me, u can be annoying sometimes (im being honest) cuz ur really loud and everything, but dont doubt urself... ur actually pretty smart and wise, like i agree with alot of the same stuff u do."
i'm feeling like shit....and that's all you haveta fucking say?!?!? i'm fucking annoying?!?!? who the fuck do you think you are to me?!?! it's okay for you to be fucking loud and everything....but when i'm happy about something i can't be loud and happy about it?!?!? who the FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?!?!?! yeah....said to me by a friend i know as natalie cargill......args....i know she was being honest.....but i don't need to fucking read that! by just saying that....she's just saying i'm rather unwanted and i shouldn't be happy about things. sighs.
sighs...... feeling more and more bad for myself......
all i'm doing is crying now....i'm like having a complete break down.....
i'm going to go take a shower now......
upset
sighs sighs. i mean, i'm kinda happy, but i'm more plainly upset. sighs sighs. see, once again, there are only a few that i would literally tell what's wrong with me to. and if i'm not telling you, it's not that i don't care, i just think that i shouldn't worry you.
there are sooo many people who are willing to listen to my problems. yeah, and all those people, i'm pretty sure would really....and if i asked....they would honestly cross their heart and say yes, not lying of course, but a very truthful yes....because i know they love me and i love them.
sighs sighs......crying my eyes out. yeah.....my eyes are sooo dry. args args. my sister said she'd give me her cell phone if i like got 80's on my up coming test......sighs. i know it won't happen. especially now that i know that my first test was sooo horrible. i did every question on the test. i knew how to do every question. why couldn't i do it?!
lost all urges to talk to people. i really just don't feel like talking to n e one. for now...i'm really going to go to my room, and wait for myself to get drowned by books. i feel sooo ultimately stupid! sighs sighs.
there are sooo many people who are willing to listen to my problems. yeah, and all those people, i'm pretty sure would really....and if i asked....they would honestly cross their heart and say yes, not lying of course, but a very truthful yes....because i know they love me and i love them.
sighs sighs......crying my eyes out. yeah.....my eyes are sooo dry. args args. my sister said she'd give me her cell phone if i like got 80's on my up coming test......sighs. i know it won't happen. especially now that i know that my first test was sooo horrible. i did every question on the test. i knew how to do every question. why couldn't i do it?!
lost all urges to talk to people. i really just don't feel like talking to n e one. for now...i'm really going to go to my room, and wait for myself to get drowned by books. i feel sooo ultimately stupid! sighs sighs.
classes....
well.....i skipped the whole day of school yesterday. on the permission of my mom of course. i know it was pointless to skip a half day, but it's just sooo tempting to skip....so i did because i couldn't conquer the temptation...keke^^:D:P
well i'm on the school pc now....slow as hell....but at least it gets me to be able to do something right? keke^^:D:P like honestly, i don't even know what i'd do with out any technology in the school. i hate the people in my school. well halfly, i don't know most of them, but i know their reputation i suppose. and well....the image that they feed to people aren't that great. yeah, most people in my school are like super rich and spoiled. if not rich, then they are just spoiled. so yeah, i'm like a grade 12, oakville prat.....wait...did i just call myself a prat?!?!? blah.....words mean different thigns to different people.....blah....
cat....i don't know whether or not you will be able to find my friends at utm.......keke^^:D:P i wish i could go there....sighs sighs....but my mommy won't let me....sighs sighs. but i don't know whether or not you'd want to find em. meh. keke^^:D:P you'd prolly see em at br a few hundred times before. keke^^:D:P
wonder if i should go out this saturday ga la?!?! sighs sighs. don't know. i have nothing to do and no one to go with. keke^^:D:P so me no noe. keke^^:d:P
hope i passed my calc test, my teacher normally has them marked by now. sighs sighs. hope i got over 80 and i'm praying for a 90!!!! but i don't knwo......i made a few stupid stupid mistakes.....
well i'm on the school pc now....slow as hell....but at least it gets me to be able to do something right? keke^^:D:P like honestly, i don't even know what i'd do with out any technology in the school. i hate the people in my school. well halfly, i don't know most of them, but i know their reputation i suppose. and well....the image that they feed to people aren't that great. yeah, most people in my school are like super rich and spoiled. if not rich, then they are just spoiled. so yeah, i'm like a grade 12, oakville prat.....wait...did i just call myself a prat?!?!? blah.....words mean different thigns to different people.....blah....
cat....i don't know whether or not you will be able to find my friends at utm.......keke^^:D:P i wish i could go there....sighs sighs....but my mommy won't let me....sighs sighs. but i don't know whether or not you'd want to find em. meh. keke^^:D:P you'd prolly see em at br a few hundred times before. keke^^:D:P
wonder if i should go out this saturday ga la?!?! sighs sighs. don't know. i have nothing to do and no one to go with. keke^^:D:P so me no noe. keke^^:d:P
hope i passed my calc test, my teacher normally has them marked by now. sighs sighs. hope i got over 80 and i'm praying for a 90!!!! but i don't knwo......i made a few stupid stupid mistakes.....
confused....
i have sooo many friends that just wish that they could be out of the house every living moment. but yet they are not thankful for what they have. i'm confused. their parents can and try their very best to ive them the world, but yet, the do nothing to show appreciation to it. they clothe you, they give you a roof above your head, they feed you. what more can you ask for? i mean, even if you were abandoned in a pit at the age you are now, i'm pretty sure you will find a way to survive, but.....think way back to when you were a baby. you were completely defenseless, and could do nothing for yourself. if you had a conscious mind of the things you were doing, you were probably hurting yourself more, but you don't see it. sighs sighs. i don't even remember what i said about someone to val. i just remember her saying it was a good example of how that person was.
oh wellz. i know i meant it then. honestly, it hurt......not the fact that you didn't invite me, but the meanings behind not inviting me. byt not inviting me, it could have meant sooo many things. but maybe i'm thinking too muchie, and if i told other people of whta you did, they would probably side with you. but it really doesn't matter how and which side they agree with, but i know how i feel. i know that i feel neglected because you didn't bother to ask. you simply assumed that i wasn't doing n e thing. yeah, val thought that i would go too, but on the previous night or the day of the fair, she would have asked whether or not i actually was going. yeah.....it does hurt. in the beginning it was just3....then 4.....fine....and then 5......and then you leave with the fifth, inform me of your plans, and you do not ask whether or not i would like to join. i would have said no n e ways because i don't have that kind of money to bust, but the point is well.....it hurts. i try so hard to be your friend....but yet you seem ungrateful at times of the time and effort i spend. sighs sighs. you say thank you at the time, but do you honestly remember after time has passed? are you honestly thankful or do you just think i'm another person that you tell problems to, like your blog? i honestly feel like you are pushing me away......but on the other hand....it's more like you are just leaving me in a room standing in one corner all by myself....even though you are in the room too. i try to join you, but you are too distracted by other people to notice. i don't know. i don't blame you, you have always chosen other company over mine, but i have demonstrated it too. but meh.....things change. time change. people change.
oh wellz. i know i meant it then. honestly, it hurt......not the fact that you didn't invite me, but the meanings behind not inviting me. byt not inviting me, it could have meant sooo many things. but maybe i'm thinking too muchie, and if i told other people of whta you did, they would probably side with you. but it really doesn't matter how and which side they agree with, but i know how i feel. i know that i feel neglected because you didn't bother to ask. you simply assumed that i wasn't doing n e thing. yeah, val thought that i would go too, but on the previous night or the day of the fair, she would have asked whether or not i actually was going. yeah.....it does hurt. in the beginning it was just3....then 4.....fine....and then 5......and then you leave with the fifth, inform me of your plans, and you do not ask whether or not i would like to join. i would have said no n e ways because i don't have that kind of money to bust, but the point is well.....it hurts. i try so hard to be your friend....but yet you seem ungrateful at times of the time and effort i spend. sighs sighs. you say thank you at the time, but do you honestly remember after time has passed? are you honestly thankful or do you just think i'm another person that you tell problems to, like your blog? i honestly feel like you are pushing me away......but on the other hand....it's more like you are just leaving me in a room standing in one corner all by myself....even though you are in the room too. i try to join you, but you are too distracted by other people to notice. i don't know. i don't blame you, you have always chosen other company over mine, but i have demonstrated it too. but meh.....things change. time change. people change.
smiling.....
sighs. i just don't know what to say. well let's see. amist all storm, trial or tragedy, your reaction to the situation is important. smiling isn't always necessary if you don't feel like it. people would rather see someone happy than upset. it's just the way things are. well let's see. i mean, GOD put you here for a certain reason. you may not be happy about it or understand for what reason, but you serve his purpose. surving HIS purpose would give you fulfilment in your heart. it will give you satisfaction one way or another. you will still feel troubled, but rather than completely down, there will definately be something to see from however you are feeling.
feelings are simply feelings. they are what they are. i don't even know what the hell i'm trying to say n e more.
family is troubled to you isn't it? no one seems to care or listen because each and every member of your house has their own frustrations. frustrations that they cannot express at work, they bring back home and start taking it out at home. not really healthy, but if that's the way people take out their frustration, there's nothing anyone can do.
everyone pents up emotions and becomes like shaken bottles of pop once in a while. for some people.....it's just a lifestyle.
feelings are simply feelings. they are what they are. i don't even know what the hell i'm trying to say n e more.
family is troubled to you isn't it? no one seems to care or listen because each and every member of your house has their own frustrations. frustrations that they cannot express at work, they bring back home and start taking it out at home. not really healthy, but if that's the way people take out their frustration, there's nothing anyone can do.
everyone pents up emotions and becomes like shaken bottles of pop once in a while. for some people.....it's just a lifestyle.
oh....
haven't posted for awhile now. meh...
well let's see. just the other night.....was it monday night?? yeah....it was monday night. keke^:d:P talked to Cat for like super long time......think her cell phone went out of battaries?!?! keke^^:D:P well yeah, predicted....meh. keke^^:D:P kinda used to it now really.....val's cell always does that! keke^^:D:P kinda funny doe. keke^^:D:P.....yupz yupz.....seee......i TOLD YOU!!!!! you are GORGEOUS!!!!! kekek^^:D:P SEE SEEE SEEEEE!!!!!! kekeke^^:D:P i'm NOT lying!!!! keke^^:D:P other ppl say sooo too!!!!! keke^^:D:P yupz yupz. sooo many guys macking on you.....keke^^:D:P makes this lil young girl here jealous cause you sooo loved.....*sniff sniff* but i love you anyways. kekek^^:D:P yupz yupz. you and your sooo romantic stories. keke^^:D:P they are all soooo cute!!!!! aw.....hm.....no, ken doesn't look cbc....but he doesn't look fob either. keke^^:D:P
well, let's see.....going to uni fair day after tom!!!!!!! yeah yeah yeah. oh wellz. idon't know why i'm looking sooo forward to it. i already skipped school this week. so yeah. i feel utterly guilty about it. i hate skipping school, it just isn't the way i was raise. keke^^:D:P well it was a half day.......and each period is like 37 minutes long...so how the hell do you get a full lesson into it?!?! u just don't! oh wellz. sighs sighs. i'm worried cause i skipped like calc. i hope i'll pass the coming up test!
oh yeah, figured out that my tutor does biology too. but how the hell do you tutor someone in bio? i just don't get bio. i hate it sooo muchie! sighs sighs. oh wellz.
well let's see. just the other night.....was it monday night?? yeah....it was monday night. keke^:d:P talked to Cat for like super long time......think her cell phone went out of battaries?!?! keke^^:D:P well yeah, predicted....meh. keke^^:D:P kinda used to it now really.....val's cell always does that! keke^^:D:P kinda funny doe. keke^^:D:P.....yupz yupz.....seee......i TOLD YOU!!!!! you are GORGEOUS!!!!! kekek^^:D:P SEE SEEE SEEEEE!!!!!! kekeke^^:D:P i'm NOT lying!!!! keke^^:D:P other ppl say sooo too!!!!! keke^^:D:P yupz yupz. sooo many guys macking on you.....keke^^:D:P makes this lil young girl here jealous cause you sooo loved.....*sniff sniff* but i love you anyways. kekek^^:D:P yupz yupz. you and your sooo romantic stories. keke^^:D:P they are all soooo cute!!!!! aw.....hm.....no, ken doesn't look cbc....but he doesn't look fob either. keke^^:D:P
well, let's see.....going to uni fair day after tom!!!!!!! yeah yeah yeah. oh wellz. idon't know why i'm looking sooo forward to it. i already skipped school this week. so yeah. i feel utterly guilty about it. i hate skipping school, it just isn't the way i was raise. keke^^:D:P well it was a half day.......and each period is like 37 minutes long...so how the hell do you get a full lesson into it?!?! u just don't! oh wellz. sighs sighs. i'm worried cause i skipped like calc. i hope i'll pass the coming up test!
oh yeah, figured out that my tutor does biology too. but how the hell do you tutor someone in bio? i just don't get bio. i hate it sooo muchie! sighs sighs. oh wellz.
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