stupid sympatico keeps kicking meh offline....dis is soo not kool....oh wellz....
hope you come round to read my thoughts....maybe dey'll depress ya....maybe it'll give ya a laugh....maybe it'll cheer up ur day.....my thoughts are posted on line for a reason....why do you think aye? hahaha=>:D it's my expression for dose words i cannot say and dat cannot be expressed in front of people.....maybe it's more of just da war within myself.....thought dat shouldn't be exposed, but expressed? but whateva....it's all kool.....hopes u having fun...l8a...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, August 19, 2003
in a carefree world, people actually do learn to not care about muchie n e more. dey teach emselves how to not get hurt and grow cold to da surroundings around em......they learn to take everything for granted, not having a heart of praise and admiration. people only learn to complain and whine about how it could be better and about what they do not have. yeah....i do dat too....i noe it's not rite....just sumtimes, it's hard. i noe, i may complain even when i'm doing things dat i like.....i should learn not to do dat, but really, i admire what i do, and i like to see da smiles on others faces. i'm selfish, but yet i'd give you da world if i noe it would benefit you, but yet dere are still many dat dun see dat and just want meh dead?am i a lil sel- fish??? hehehehe=>:D *gurgle gurgle* "look at meh, i'm a fish" j/ks j/ks....hehehe=>:D yeah.....cold jokes...i've been pulling alot of dose cold jokes lately....oh wellz....
everyone's selfish, if you want to like admit it or not, u are and if you say u ain't.....u are just lying to urself. u are one of dose biggest self-concieted liars...because it's in ur nature to be selfish....don't u dare even denying it eitha....u can't hide....da truth is rite dere in front of ya....why are u unwilling to see??? hm...dere's a song by avalon...yeah i noe....dey such a gurly pop christian group, but dey have a song called wonder why, and all i can ever rememba is dis......"why why do you eva wonder why, some people look so hard to find the truth. some can stumble ova it a thousand times..." i dunno....dese words kinda like make meh thing too muchie, but otha people's business is only dere's and GOD's....not mine.
yeah.....i think some guys have it great, yeah i admit, i'm jealous......most gurls....unless taught and learnt to feel nothing, feel much of what some guys don't feel. it's true....really come to think of it, outta all da guy friends i have, only one of em well....one of em is pretty sensitive. i dun think it's a bad trait. most guys learn to not care at a very young age....since in da nature it's a competition for everything......not dat it's not like dat with gurls. haven't u eva noticed dat when gurls get mad, well most times dey stay mad for a longer time....whereas a guy....could stay mad, but doesn't and may just end up keeping it to emselves??? i dun think n e is betta. if you as meh.....really....a gurl could be too into herself....whereas the guy, into himself, but too much out there at the same time. i suppose what some people lack is balance...dere is no borderline.....and if dere is...it's sooo thin it snaps almost as quickly as it's put up....but dat dun matta........
i think too much....i care too much.....but i sleep too lil and i eat too lil....signing off......
everyone's selfish, if you want to like admit it or not, u are and if you say u ain't.....u are just lying to urself. u are one of dose biggest self-concieted liars...because it's in ur nature to be selfish....don't u dare even denying it eitha....u can't hide....da truth is rite dere in front of ya....why are u unwilling to see??? hm...dere's a song by avalon...yeah i noe....dey such a gurly pop christian group, but dey have a song called wonder why, and all i can ever rememba is dis......"why why do you eva wonder why, some people look so hard to find the truth. some can stumble ova it a thousand times..." i dunno....dese words kinda like make meh thing too muchie, but otha people's business is only dere's and GOD's....not mine.
yeah.....i think some guys have it great, yeah i admit, i'm jealous......most gurls....unless taught and learnt to feel nothing, feel much of what some guys don't feel. it's true....really come to think of it, outta all da guy friends i have, only one of em well....one of em is pretty sensitive. i dun think it's a bad trait. most guys learn to not care at a very young age....since in da nature it's a competition for everything......not dat it's not like dat with gurls. haven't u eva noticed dat when gurls get mad, well most times dey stay mad for a longer time....whereas a guy....could stay mad, but doesn't and may just end up keeping it to emselves??? i dun think n e is betta. if you as meh.....really....a gurl could be too into herself....whereas the guy, into himself, but too much out there at the same time. i suppose what some people lack is balance...dere is no borderline.....and if dere is...it's sooo thin it snaps almost as quickly as it's put up....but dat dun matta........
i think too much....i care too much.....but i sleep too lil and i eat too lil....signing off......
some people say pictures are worth a thousand words....so i suppose....if you could get a glipse of meh now...and zoom in on my eyes....i suppose dat would tell you everything i feel at the present moment or just about plain lyphe.....yes...finally....contacts...a promise now....no moe next summas.....well not dis year...but i could always cheat and like buy my own pair....so it doesn't matta....i just want da grace of my parents when i buy em.....so yeah....hehehe=>:D first i haveta go with like normal plain contacts...den i have an option to like choose like colored....but i mite not, because i would want my eyes to not look freaky....cause if so, i'd choose to wear white contacts and only have a pupil...but i dun wanna do dat.....so well....yeah.....
change.....bak to dat subject....hm.....why do i always talk about change? is dere soo much change going on in my lyphe dat talking about it just once a week is not enuff? i have no clue....so weird.....hm......i still haveta wel....change alot in da long while dat i might be living.....but dere are also many times well.....maybe i have changed tooo muchie. hm.....i can still rememba when i cared about soo lil but cared about alot. i didn't like da feeling.....but at dat time....i suppose i wuz happy......but maybe i wuzn't.....now, at least i find da joys of lyphe....not dat dere are many, but tons at the same time, but all belong to GOD. even in the moments of despair.....GOD is dere..... footprints on da sand really dipicts an image. dat imagery is well.....freakishly kool. no otha sense, but wow.....i neva thought of it dat way. i dun really think it would be picking ya up....but still....wouldn't it be nice to once in a while......GOD wouldn't pick us up....he'll just be holding our hand even more through every trial, everything dat we go through......even da happy times......even i seem to forget dat GOD is all present and dere even when we are happy....
hm....da water coming outta da water system rite now smells extremely funny.....but it smells like da water i had at camp and in north bay......and really.....it does seem like dat too....cause my hair is softa den it normally is....cause well ova here.....da water normally has alot and alot of chlorine in it.....and dat really dries out my hair......but maybe it just smells diff.....hm... i talk funnay....i hope i can write betta when skool starts...literally....my printing and writing have like desintegrated to like scratches on paper....it look ssoo odd and funnay. but at least it's faster????? hm.....
dey said dat it would take at least months to get da same supply of energy dat we used to have.....so will skools be affected?!?!? hm....funny thought....wouldn't it kinda be nice to be in class and den a rolling blackout occurs?!?!? but dat wouldn't happen....cause no one would be at home to use electricity....so it kinda balances out.....
u noe.....i can almost name u everyone dat i consider as a friend...and dose dat i just noe, but partially......but i ain't gonna do dat......cause i'd be ranking my friends in sum sorta of way......GOD gave em all to meh, so to da grace of GOD, i thank him and not the efforts of me trying to make friends.......
change.....bak to dat subject....hm.....why do i always talk about change? is dere soo much change going on in my lyphe dat talking about it just once a week is not enuff? i have no clue....so weird.....hm......i still haveta wel....change alot in da long while dat i might be living.....but dere are also many times well.....maybe i have changed tooo muchie. hm.....i can still rememba when i cared about soo lil but cared about alot. i didn't like da feeling.....but at dat time....i suppose i wuz happy......but maybe i wuzn't.....now, at least i find da joys of lyphe....not dat dere are many, but tons at the same time, but all belong to GOD. even in the moments of despair.....GOD is dere..... footprints on da sand really dipicts an image. dat imagery is well.....freakishly kool. no otha sense, but wow.....i neva thought of it dat way. i dun really think it would be picking ya up....but still....wouldn't it be nice to once in a while......GOD wouldn't pick us up....he'll just be holding our hand even more through every trial, everything dat we go through......even da happy times......even i seem to forget dat GOD is all present and dere even when we are happy....
hm....da water coming outta da water system rite now smells extremely funny.....but it smells like da water i had at camp and in north bay......and really.....it does seem like dat too....cause my hair is softa den it normally is....cause well ova here.....da water normally has alot and alot of chlorine in it.....and dat really dries out my hair......but maybe it just smells diff.....hm... i talk funnay....i hope i can write betta when skool starts...literally....my printing and writing have like desintegrated to like scratches on paper....it look ssoo odd and funnay. but at least it's faster????? hm.....
dey said dat it would take at least months to get da same supply of energy dat we used to have.....so will skools be affected?!?!? hm....funny thought....wouldn't it kinda be nice to be in class and den a rolling blackout occurs?!?!? but dat wouldn't happen....cause no one would be at home to use electricity....so it kinda balances out.....
u noe.....i can almost name u everyone dat i consider as a friend...and dose dat i just noe, but partially......but i ain't gonna do dat......cause i'd be ranking my friends in sum sorta of way......GOD gave em all to meh, so to da grace of GOD, i thank him and not the efforts of me trying to make friends.......
i dunno why i wake up soooo early.....but during da day....i sleep like two hours at a time......i just can't help it. i have dese severe headaches dat feel as if dey are gonna like explode my head....and at times....i'm like having a high temp......my body doesn't seem able to maintain homeostasis......crap......is dere sumthing wrong with meh? will i be alrite? well no matta.....lyphe's life.....lyphe conquers all......see....it's called de afta lyphe.....not sumthing with the word death in it....and if so.....halfly cause it'll prolly still contain da word lyphe in it. funnay thought aye??? but u noe i'm rite....
sumtimes....really.....i have no clue....it's good to be happy.....but at times....why can't i? at dis present moment.....i feel nothing at all.....to the point that i wun care bout n e thing....even if i hurt myself.....so at times.....i hate to be meh, but love meh at da same time because i have no choice but to love every creature dat GOD made. i still dun understand, why did GOD create da mosquito? is dere sumthing beneficial from it dat we could learn from? hm.....it's weird, but at least it kinda makes sense.....GOD created everything so that it could prosper.....i rememba once what my daddy told meh.....when all animals start to decrease in numba very severely, u noe dat dis earth will not servive too much afta..... dere wuz an explaination to it too.....he's like.....because......u see....humans are very adaptable....but animals....if surrounding change sooo drastically, dey all die off.....and da reason earth wun survive muchie is well....cause we no longer have a balance in the natural earth......GOD's taking each and every one of dose animals away......as da saying goes....u dunno what u have till it's gone....dat went with all da otha animals we had.....da few extinct ones now.....and well.....da tigers are slowly, but sumwhat steady are slowly becoming extinct./....and now dat people are intervening....well.....i dun think it helps much, but cause troubles for em when dey go into the nature. as u can see.....de earth isn't always friendly as a hidden environment can be. dose animals being caged up learn to be tame,.....and in return...dun hunt for prey....how do you noe it's possible? but whateva....an animal is an animal....it'll always have it's instincts to do whateva it needs to do....just da same as humans....living in primal stages teaches you alot......living in darkness teaches alot....dat fire and heat and comfort are very important...and all else are nothing cept extras.......if da blackout taught meh n e thing....it's dat humans like to prefere the easy way.....but no matta.....just smile and be comforted....
sumtimes....really.....i have no clue....it's good to be happy.....but at times....why can't i? at dis present moment.....i feel nothing at all.....to the point that i wun care bout n e thing....even if i hurt myself.....so at times.....i hate to be meh, but love meh at da same time because i have no choice but to love every creature dat GOD made. i still dun understand, why did GOD create da mosquito? is dere sumthing beneficial from it dat we could learn from? hm.....it's weird, but at least it kinda makes sense.....GOD created everything so that it could prosper.....i rememba once what my daddy told meh.....when all animals start to decrease in numba very severely, u noe dat dis earth will not servive too much afta..... dere wuz an explaination to it too.....he's like.....because......u see....humans are very adaptable....but animals....if surrounding change sooo drastically, dey all die off.....and da reason earth wun survive muchie is well....cause we no longer have a balance in the natural earth......GOD's taking each and every one of dose animals away......as da saying goes....u dunno what u have till it's gone....dat went with all da otha animals we had.....da few extinct ones now.....and well.....da tigers are slowly, but sumwhat steady are slowly becoming extinct./....and now dat people are intervening....well.....i dun think it helps much, but cause troubles for em when dey go into the nature. as u can see.....de earth isn't always friendly as a hidden environment can be. dose animals being caged up learn to be tame,.....and in return...dun hunt for prey....how do you noe it's possible? but whateva....an animal is an animal....it'll always have it's instincts to do whateva it needs to do....just da same as humans....living in primal stages teaches you alot......living in darkness teaches alot....dat fire and heat and comfort are very important...and all else are nothing cept extras.......if da blackout taught meh n e thing....it's dat humans like to prefere the easy way.....but no matta.....just smile and be comforted....
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