hm......

sighs sighs. i don't know why i feel sooo crummy, but i just do. maybe it's the fact that well people want me to try in life and be able to speak japanese. now, i have all the stress to try drop it, but then again, people actually think i can do it. hm. why does his mommy think sooo highly of me? hm. i will do this...i will be able to. args args. i really want to drop it, but my teacher or at least one of my teachers really wants me to stay in japanese class. hm. i'll just have to talk to allysa more. hm. is that how you spell her name? well yes, i will try hard, cause i really want to pass the course. hm...my mission this semester is to be able to speak at least one conversation in japanese. hm. if the teachers think i can do it, then they must see something that i don't see in my ability.

sighs sighs. you no longer surprise me with the actions you have done. i accept the fact you have used me to get close to my best friend. maybe in my days.....i should learn to trust less, but then again, it was you who lied to me about the whole thing.....not me. i stayed true to myself all along....i don't care if you've used me. i honestly don't...as long as you are like true to yourself. but the thing is...you've lost yourself. you have no longer a self. you have been drowned in sin...and to me, you are now dead. hm. i don't believe in the bright side....cept that you must know you are in the darker side and are unwilling to be brought out. the light is always there making it always bright...so you are either in the bright side or the brighter side......