args...

was going to print of crap from my pc....and it ran outta ink...=.=

blah.....stupid stupid....i'll just haveta bring all that i've printed and show her the disk....frick....

cold....

burrrr....it's cold in here!!!. someone please turn up the heat in here......i said burrrrrr.....

keke^^:D:P blah....

been thinking......on an elliptical....it really doesn't make a diff if i go faster on it or having higher resistance. by going faster, i get more repetition on the muscle. if i were to use higher resistance, it builds muscles and makes it more defined. but what i'm looking for isn't defined. i'm just looking for endurance, so isn't it better to run faster and longer than shorter and higher resistance??!?!

ddr obsession?!?!

okay now....ddr is sooo outta date....=.=. and yet well jordan is addicted to that captain jack song. and therefore, well yeah......she needs someone to be her company. and now....i've become ddr obsessed. keke^^:D:P how very very fun aye?!?!? yupz yupz.

wow.....i really do write tooo much....


blah blah blah....

tired...think i may sleep early today...may not...i'll see....

tears...

i am unable to cry. but i am no longer afraid to cry. my tears will not hurt n e one. but i know crying continually, well, is egh....rather bad.

sooo many things sooo many things.

wei she me ni hui da ta?!?!? ni ke bu ke yi tong wo shou le?!?!?

args......

my own safety is risk or so other say....blah...

you can block me if you like....blah....do i make you feel guilty?!?!? i'll rub this guilt in your face till you get pissed.....and come after me....args. can't you understand that she doesn't want you?!?!? obviously not. and those that want you liked the way you were before, are also changed. sighs. people grow cold. anger is better kept to self. blah.....if you wanna beat someone ....beat me up......i'm a girl, and the chances of well being permantly affected by a fight is much more than a male. blah......

people deserve what they get, and if you treat people the way you do, you better watch out. "good hearts have their rewards" and "bad hearts have their punishments" so you noe what?!?!? even if i do not step in physically, every part of me wants to help the one who you hurt. but yet my heart just wants you to stop. but it's not like you care, obviously so because you still hurt him n e ways.

do you find enjoyment in hitting someone?!?!? do you find satisfaction seeing someone in pain!?!? do you find fulfilment in seeing how you can beat up someone who is unsuspecting?!?! do you find amusement in the stupid stuff you are doing?!?!? do you feel joy in doing the things you do?!?!? if so, i'd rather you hurt me okay?!!? they were fine and always will be fine. even if you killed him, you know what?!?!? she won't like you ne more than she hates you now. the difference between her and i is that she never liked you more than a friend, but now, she will always hate you. you obviously don't see things clearly n e more. blah....you may have perfect vision phsycially, but your mental vision really needs some major corrective lenses. blah....so if you haveta hurt that person just hit me. but i'm a girl, and i know you wouldn't just hit me, you'd knock me out and then rape me....blah.....i always said i wouldn't get an abortion......no form of life deserves that kind of death; even if in scientific terms it's called an embryo.....i still call it life. so yeah.....all you scientists out there....kiss my ass!!!! so yeah....i'd love the kid and have more reason to hate you.

do you think i'm blind or deaf?!?! do you think my friends don't tell me what the shit is going on?!?!? they simply hold it from me because they know that i'd get upset. but you know what?!?!? i can't sit around and only hear one fucking side of your stupidity.

i hate you.....i love you....i miss the way you were.....what the fuck happened?!?!?

you fucking lost your self in all this shit that you are inflicting on to others. if you were to take one good look at yourself...just one good look....you'd see that there are reasons why you say you don't have alot of "friends". sighs sighs. i wanted to be one of those people who could stand by your side till the very end. i think someone who i call a friend deserves that....but it's things like this that fuck up everything you know? i just can't take this shit n e more. fuck you.....fuck whatever made you change to become such horrible speck in this population of humans.

you were cunning. you always were. you were clever. you always were. you were lovable. but you will never be in my eyes n e more. i loved who you were...not who you are now...but my love doesn't mean shit to you. you just stomped on it the first time, but you have never really understood why i could give my love to you. and you know what......maybe there was something about you that you knew that you felt guilty for.....i will never know......blah...people change and shit i know. blah....but did you haveta resort to the level of idiocy that you are at now???? blah....by doing all this shit that you've done......you are simply just stupid now..... a man who deserves respect doesn't resort to violence except only to defend self.

just cause he took your girl.....he doesn't deserve this fucking shit you put him through....that girl was never yours actually. you only coveted her and lusted for her in your mind....but she was never ever yours...she will never for eternity be yours. if you manage to hurt him physically, i'll even make sure that you never get her. i haven't stepped him to help him cause there is nothing i can do to defend him......but if you touch a hair on her head.....i'll make sure you touch one of my hairs so that someone will go after you!! i will make sure you die if you touch a hair on her head!

i don't say empty words. you know i don't make empty promises. you know i mean the words i say....so yeah, my threats are as real as you feel.....be warned......

but it's not like you read....so you wouldn't care.....you wouldn't even know.....

christmas wishing....

yeah yeah.....i know it's a bit soon for christmas lists, but you know what?1?!? since there isn't such a person called santa clause, so yeah....why not put it down early so i can come back to it and buy these things for myself.

well first and formost, i could really care less if you didn't buy me n e thing. i'm rather used to not getting n e thing for christmas, easter (chocolates), valentine's day (chocolates), or my birthday. plus, i wouldn't really respond really well if i got them either cause well i'd say thanx and not show my appreciation even though i love the fact that YOU gave me a gift. i just don't know how to react cause it's hard for me. so yeah......but i'll try to give you a huggie.....yeah...key word is TRY....

keke^^:D:P

so let's see the things i need....and the things i want....

there isn't much i really want.....but there isn't much that i need either cause i have a roof over my house, i have people feeding my stomache....i have family who will support me in the clothes on my back....what more can i ask for really?!?!?!

i don't know....whatever you think i'll like......it's prolly right.

yeah.....i know i won't be getting gifts from certain groups of people this year, but i'm not all that concerned.

yeah......what i said about spending my money and my time on a present is more important for me than going out and buying something i know you will like because you told me. so yeah....keke^^:D:P it prolly sounds cheesy, but that's just the way i am and how i tick. meh...

being like totally moody lately.....but is it really moods or is it issues with people at school?!?!? dunno, don't want to care less, but it's kinda hurting me sooo much that i kinda haveta stop caring.

hm....ewww.....chinese grundge music........*shivers*.....it's not bad....i'm just not used to it....*chills*

another song

you have not said n e thing about the situation, but yet you are holding my hand.
now one minute has passed, and yet you still love me?
the trouble you have i feel in my heart.
then when i hear a song, i start smiling, but i don't know why.

why don't you open your mouth and start saying to me, "i need you here with me"?
i love you and i'm letting you be however happy you want to be
i'd rather give you freedom.

why am i still here?
why am i still waiting?
why do i still keep these memories even after you have turned your back and left me?

that's all i want to translate today......not in the mood to concentrate this hard on a song.....sighs sighs.....

a song.....

yeah, listening to mando songs...cause i haveta improve my mando if i wanna go to taiwan and china and see the world...

i say, when i saw her, it seemed like the room got brighter.
whoever was with you was no longer there to me.
then i started thinking about how we could be.

blah...why are all songs like this?!?!? next song....

bleh....

loosing and losing......ones a verb and ones an adjective.....yeah i know i know okay?!?!? i really just don't type correctly on msn n e ways...keke^^:D:P but thanx for bringing it to my like acknowledgement doe. keke^^:D:P

egh....ah do?!?!? since when did i d/l his music?!?!? sighs......when i hear this voice i always just start crying actually. it's not cause i like his voice, nor do i think it's calming, i just cry cause i do for reasons....sighs...

yeah.....plus, it's almost the same reason why i like simple love. keke^^:D:P a very very stupid song i know i know....but i like it for certain reasons. it's sooo stupid song, but it would be sweet for someone to sing it for me or with me i suppose.

keke^^:D:P

not supposed to be on line, and jo is gonna kill me now.

gotsta finish jo's gift....once i'm done i can make vals. keke^^:D:P i don't if i have enough this year....just hope that i do!

about my turkey weekend

well yeah, i should have updated this earlier, but well as usual, all my thoughts are outta sync and messed up. keke^^:D:P yupz yupz.

let's see. nothing really happened to me. well i told ya all about friday, and i suppose that's where my thanksgiving weekend starts. keke^^:D:P PENIS MOBILE!!!! yes, it was on miss black lung chikadee's car. i love her to death, and i'm prolly second hand smoking more than she thinks. oh wellz. just hope i don't cancer. well n e who....met some guys....not that i like strangers......but oh wellz.

yes....then on saturday, i studied all day. talked to cat about her cooking. and how yummy it would be cause she was afraid it would turn out bad. and to her surprise, just looking at it still made me droll!!!! keke^^:D:P not that you people needed to know, but yeah. keke^^:D:P

well yeah......well after that phone chit chats.....i studied till like 6ish or 7ish cause jordan got off work early. keke^^:D:P then went to egh...jackastors bar....keke^^:D:P there was one cute guy....and the other one kept dropping cups and chipping them all. keke^^:D:P oh wellz.

besides that......we went to milestones.....emptied my wallet of course....but oh wellz....

then on sunday, went to churchie, and then after that....drove sista off to skool. yeah, came home and my mommy kinda made my daddy do some more painting. and after that whole paintin job, which i think is a good job but totally horrible colour, my dad didn't have time to make something for going to auntie esther's and uncle victor's. so instead, we decided to be late and buy a yummy looking triple decker cake! keke^^:D:P looked sooo yummy that i wanted my daddy to buy one too, but i told him to save his money, cause it was my money he was spending...=.= oh wellz. my money comes from my parents once in a while...so meh. keke^^:D:P

and then besides that, on monday, i didn't do anything except study. keke^^:D:P can't really remember monday except boring my ass off and being completely tired. so yeah....that's the end of it all. keke^^:D:P

that's my turkey weekend....does n e one wanna make it more interesting next year?!?!? keke^^:D:P