you know what? i find rap of any language to be something of more substance of any type of music. but rap is not music. rap is an expression. music is an expression. music has certain criteria making it able to called music, rap on the other hand....should be on a class of it's own. not really music, but not really not music.

as again, wo yao shou, wo bu shi tai kuai le la. zai wan tian, wo hui kou le. mei you yi ge ren zhi dao de. my tears are silent. silent tears hurt the most. yeah, some people say i'm strong, and yet others say i'm weak. now then if some say i'm strong and others say i'm weak, then what can you call yourself?

people say you should just kill those that piss you off. then if i say that, then all my fellow peeps would be dead by now.

okayz, on with other matters that is bugging my mind. friendships. okayz, let's see this. you said it urself, our friends are falling apart. you have n e thing you want to do?!?!? well there isn't n e thing you can do, so just shut ur trap and let it go. yupz yupz. if they were truly your friends, they won't just run to you when they need your help. there are those that ignore you, and that may be due to their own problems, but have you every really thought that they just don't want to talk to you that's why they don't? those people i hate to be friends with, but then again, i really understand where certain people come frowm. some problems are those that i cannot help to wonder why. i mean, i'm thinking 24/7 yeah. listening to certain types of music sure pisses me off. well not pisses me off. it really depends what the words are in the song. seriously, it really depends what are being said in a song that make sme listen to the song. i mean, there are those that i just listen to because well.....i like to...and then there are those that just piss me off even though it has good music. hm.

love you's don't piss me off, they make me happy. i'm a fraid to be alone, brian, i am not like you in that way. i have been alone as a child, and it's a way i fight because i do not like. i mean, i have christ and shall never be alone now, but i am still afraid.

i am suicidal. people don't understand that. and jenny if you ever end up landing here, there's a reason why i'm telling you not to tell nat and steph whatever. i don't want to see their reaction. i mean, they won't understand why i'm so suicidal.

brian you are extremely right when you say that all my friends are optimists. i mean, all my friends like to be happy. so it really doesn't matter does it? i'm not a very happy person. you say that most of those loners think and blah blah, but i must tell you that i don't find that true, i feel as if i'm a loner, but a loner is also a loser of life. a loser of life has nothing good, no one. and me, i have everything going good for me. but only i take none of to heart. as i once said in a poem, "would not all treasures of the world be garbage in your eyes if you had no heart to desire it?" and this is true forever. it forever be understood that without heart, there cannot be anything. for you were made outta love, love of GOD, and without that love which is represented by the heart, you cannot be anything. makes no diff if you listen to me or not.

chinese people have had a long history, almost 5000 years worth. chinese people have many things wrong, but at least we have a long history, do you have one? someone taught us to be ourselves, so we must not follow, copy or stick to others and never look down on others of the same race. we are ourselves. now if you wanna kiss my ass?!?!? go and kiss!!!

man, you all lie about the truth. the truth was originally right, but now, look at it now, what the hell did you do to it? look at the corruption!! now it's better to be fricken blind. it's better to be deaf. it's better to hate....but then again, love is something that we are made to do. everyone knows what i'm trying to say. comeon. you know. you fricken idiot, comeon, you know what i'm talking about. you are not that seeepecial, but reading these thoughts, you have the privilege to read my stupid thoughts of tonight. yeah. stop being someone else. you are not black, you are not white, you are chinese, therefore making you asian and yellow skinned. ewww......you know the fuck i'm trying to say. i see you and i wanna puke la.... you're worst than a dog. don't even have the qualities of a dog. dogs are loyal, where's your loyalty??? obviously, you don't have any. someone taught us to be ourselves. you aren't going to look down on urself. don't copy, follow, don't be like others. there was people that made life seem to be messed, but more betta and livable. someone lived a new life and became famous. now look at this.....yellow skinned people, look who follows us la!! all chinese people should be proud of themselves. we should not follow others. we don't want to follow, copy or stick to others that bring us down. now look at you. where are you at?

okayz....i must stop with this....going into a trance with stupid translating stupid things in my head.

dew ley lo mo ar......my goodness....people say i'm motha frickin fake?!?!? what the living hell is wrong with these "good" people ar? puk ley gor guy ar.....yeah.....don't ask...been cussing alot lately. it's like i do this every new year....i swear everyother sentence until about like march or may and then i stop for the other six months. the influence of some old Lazy MoFo music....keke^^

just because i'm young doesn't give you a right to be rude to me. what motha fricker believes you can control me just because you are older than me. yes...i am supposed to respect you, but you don't tell me to fucking shut up you father fucking bitch. you know jackshit when it comes to being nice of course. and it's rude of me to bitch about you through the internet, but i'm sorry, i can't take any more of this any more. shittas....got some very funny life shit....where the hell did i get it from?!?!? well eitha way...some funny shit. keke^^ a freestyle about cleaning sumthing and sex?!?!? what the hell?!?!? keke^^

sueng da sai aw ma? hi da may da la. aw ng pa ley ar. just because i've been having night mares of getting beaten doesn't mean that i'm going to be afraid. some fears are only fears when you are sleeping.

keke^^

you can say that "aw hi gik moe liu." so what ar?!?!? ley you mun tai ma?!?!? so yeah.....puk guy la.....keke^^ whateva....feeling great....i got my title bar now!!! yaya!!! i'm soo happy.....so who are you calling the loser now?!?!?