broken

*note: time and time again i have listened to this song. the music is so soft. the lyrics are alrights. but i just thought it was pretty...so here we go...*

Verse 1:
waking again, don't know why
it's far too still tonight
on my bed shadows fall
thinking of you, where you are and how it got this far
wondering when you might call
tired and so alone
i ignore the TV drone
every heart beat turns toward the telephone
you're in my mind, in my dream
i'm cursed, or so it seems
don't know where to take flight
always the single doubt and it turns me inside out
it's so hard to walk away, try as i might

chorus:
**cuz i'm broken inside
pieces of me, intense and obscene
forced not to show the things that i know
all of the flaws I keep unseen
i turn to you ,what else can i do?
hoping to find a way to see through
a break in the sky to keep through the night
discover the peace i wish i knew

Bridge:
paint shades of grey shifting through the disarray
can i find enough of me to make you stay?

**chorus**

Verse 2:
with you , you turn the tide
wash over me, come set me free
i won't question why
try to disguise all the things you mean to me
i trusted you
what else can i do?
i cant deny something so true
look at me now
wondering how i'll keep the peace I find with you...

can't believe

still in shock over the whole situation. sticks and stones may break bones, but names can't hurt me. wow.....that's a saying i used to live behind as a kid...but it's not true. physically, sticks and stones can really hurt. but physically pain can heal easy....sometimes. and well...names do emotional damage. i think saying sticks and stones may break bones, but names can't hurt me is only a consolation for those that are always made fun of.

sighs sighs. i can not tolerate any one calling me a bitch. people don't call me whore, unless it's a joke and not in some condescending tone. what the heck? args.....what the hell.

everyone wants the best for their friends. feelings aren't weakness. but feelings are only perversed in today's society.

i am just in shock. utter shock. i am probably just tired. wow.....i am mad at him....grrrrr.......what a bastard child. but yet i will still be his friend even though he seems like a bastard child for even wanting to cheat.

you want to know why i'm more built than most girls? well it's cause i have always found the need to be stronger than most girls. i don't want to be fragile. i mean, it's ironic in a way because physically i may be strong, emotionally, i am kinda weak. i am a tad tooo sensitive at times.

11 hours till going to vals for movie night!!!!! i wonder if i will have plans before going to vals. hm. well i still kinda need to talkie to him because now i am confused=.=

i'm listening to an old song that says this. i don't need love. what is it? don't blame me for being single and more clear headed. what i don't get will leave a shadow for the rest of my life. i dunno....that's not what i'm feeling...but i just thought i'd like to share that lyric.... do you think it's true? relationships leave you not in clear minds? well i know my answer is kind yes...it's more like when you were in a relationship leaves you hurting and the hurt blinds you. but meh....that's just me...

sighs sighs.....i will be giving jean a hug on sunday. sighs sighs. i am sucha meanie=.= sighs sighs. i am sooo unsensitive to her situation=.= sighs sighs....