hm....have more thoughts.
okayz......you know how people say that GOD will come bak? well let's see this. on the news, brother kills brother. father kills son, son kills father. nation is against nation.......and yet, the time is still unpredictable of when CHRIST, OUR LORD will come bak. just had to mention it.....had to get it off my chest.....
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Saturday, December 06, 2003
now you see the christmas season and everyone's only obsessed with buying people gifts. well, now then, people that are only obsessed in shopping during this season can just kiss their sorry little asses and leave my thought pagie cause you wouldn't want to read on. i'm not going to diss you people up, and noe not many of you people are even gonna plan to read my darn thoughts, so it doesn't matter. either way, it's a win win situation for me. muhaahah!!! yeah yeah!!! okay. i am obsessed in buying gifts, but i'm obsessed in shopping 24/7. shopping is just my thing, even if it is window shopping. but that's not the fact, i mean, everyone is soooo materialistic.
yeah, now out of no where, i felt like asking ken matsushita what he wanted for christmas. i wasn't really shocked by his answer, just that one i didn't expect. this is his answer and his reply for my silly lil question. he's like this, "i actually don't want anything for christmas. nothing more do i want. i have everything i need to be happy. all i have now (talking about materialistic things), aren't necessities, they just play a minor role even if i didn't have them." now i probably altered some of his words, but those are the jists of what he said. but then he continues to say that he'd like an md player, but that really doesn't matter because he doesn't need it.
don't ask why i still remember this, i asked him on like monday i believe. so yeah. now i know brian would be something of the same sort of reply. buti know he doesn't want me buying a gift for him because he doesn't want to buy a gift for me. but the thing is....it really doesn't matter if the people i choose to buy gifts returns a gift to me or not. it really doesn't bug me. now matt's soo kind to offer to buy me a lil bite at the mall, but obviously, my plans are still always the same, either pay for it urself, or borrow to buy. yeah, i ended up buying food for myself...hehehe=>:D:P come to think about it......i've been hanging with matt every weekend so far....wherever he goes...i'll go.... wow, i'm a follower...or a friendly stalker...whichever the one, still one in the same if you ask me. but i prolly won't go with him the following weekend. so yeah. it's all good i suppose. hm...now where can i find usable comfy earphones that don't hurt as much??? args...this is evil..... well, people say a guy ain't worth 30 dollars, so in the same sense, why are girls worth diamonds? i don't get it. what makes a girl special where guys aren't? well, i've come to notice that yesterday, i did better than i thought i would. with forty dollars, i bought 3 gifts.....you'd say that was bad....but i only expected to buy 3 with sixty dollars. so yeah.....i woulda bought like 4 gifts with 60 instead. hehehe. what i've wanted to buy my sister for a long time now was on sale, so of course i was going to buy it.....how could i resist a sale like that? hehehe=>:D:P i mean, i know my sister will really like it, even if she has something like that, i know she'll like it because how can you resist a gift from the heart?
now, it's not the gift giving season, but it's christmas. it's about what GOD gave to us that's important and what we give bak to GOD, not what we give to other people. i mean yes, do you know why there is something about christmas time that makes us want it have it year round? i'll tell you. because this world lacks love, and during these harsh winter months (or at least in canada) love is finally demonstrated. but now days, people have become so self centered, everyone has grown bitter one way or another, that during any other time besides christmas, they show no love. and even during christmas, they have no love, but it's hidden behind the motive of buying gifts. so yeah. whateva. meh going....
yeah, now out of no where, i felt like asking ken matsushita what he wanted for christmas. i wasn't really shocked by his answer, just that one i didn't expect. this is his answer and his reply for my silly lil question. he's like this, "i actually don't want anything for christmas. nothing more do i want. i have everything i need to be happy. all i have now (talking about materialistic things), aren't necessities, they just play a minor role even if i didn't have them." now i probably altered some of his words, but those are the jists of what he said. but then he continues to say that he'd like an md player, but that really doesn't matter because he doesn't need it.
don't ask why i still remember this, i asked him on like monday i believe. so yeah. now i know brian would be something of the same sort of reply. buti know he doesn't want me buying a gift for him because he doesn't want to buy a gift for me. but the thing is....it really doesn't matter if the people i choose to buy gifts returns a gift to me or not. it really doesn't bug me. now matt's soo kind to offer to buy me a lil bite at the mall, but obviously, my plans are still always the same, either pay for it urself, or borrow to buy. yeah, i ended up buying food for myself...hehehe=>:D:P come to think about it......i've been hanging with matt every weekend so far....wherever he goes...i'll go.... wow, i'm a follower...or a friendly stalker...whichever the one, still one in the same if you ask me. but i prolly won't go with him the following weekend. so yeah. it's all good i suppose. hm...now where can i find usable comfy earphones that don't hurt as much??? args...this is evil..... well, people say a guy ain't worth 30 dollars, so in the same sense, why are girls worth diamonds? i don't get it. what makes a girl special where guys aren't? well, i've come to notice that yesterday, i did better than i thought i would. with forty dollars, i bought 3 gifts.....you'd say that was bad....but i only expected to buy 3 with sixty dollars. so yeah.....i woulda bought like 4 gifts with 60 instead. hehehe. what i've wanted to buy my sister for a long time now was on sale, so of course i was going to buy it.....how could i resist a sale like that? hehehe=>:D:P i mean, i know my sister will really like it, even if she has something like that, i know she'll like it because how can you resist a gift from the heart?
now, it's not the gift giving season, but it's christmas. it's about what GOD gave to us that's important and what we give bak to GOD, not what we give to other people. i mean yes, do you know why there is something about christmas time that makes us want it have it year round? i'll tell you. because this world lacks love, and during these harsh winter months (or at least in canada) love is finally demonstrated. but now days, people have become so self centered, everyone has grown bitter one way or another, that during any other time besides christmas, they show no love. and even during christmas, they have no love, but it's hidden behind the motive of buying gifts. so yeah. whateva. meh going....
wow.....well i'm bak.......and i have some stupid thoughts as usual. but then this online journal is just a vent or release of my emotions that bug me. but the problem is, writing them doesn't ease my pain. writing my thoughts makes me notice how pathetic i am that i have no one to listen to my problems. yeah, i've never failed in my life. i have never had to face defeat. and that's a true fact. i've won every battle. well i mean, even in sports, i may not win, but playing sports is for the experience and friends you can make. doing homework wise, i've never really needed to study much, i've never really needed to work hard, with minimal effort, i've always got 80. but even when i do try, i will only get 80. so it really doesn't matter, and it bugs me, but what can i do? nothing. life has a way of taunting that makes me laugh. now.....but maybe a reason that i don't fail is this, when i actually know that there is something i cant do, i will work harder, i will the concept down packed. i will make myself succeed, even it is only borderline passing. i have never been pleased with low marks. i have never been pleased that i couldn't hit a note properly. i have never been pleased not to listen to the teacher. but all this is in constant conflict with my rebelliousness. for the time being, i've studied my whole like, i've sang my whole life, i've listened my whole life. yes, i give you this, i have attitude problems, and this i know i must change. when i'm frustrated, i show it, and if i'm happy, i show it. if people offend me, i show it. but now days, what life experience has taught me is well, that when there is someone who offended to me, either a.....suck it in and demolish your pride for that time being.....or b......go up to them and tell them that what they did offended you. i normally tend to choose a, unless i knew that they didn't mean to offend meh and then i'd choose b because i'd want them to know not to say it next time so i won't be upset. but pride is always pride, no matter how much you let go of it, it's like a too-loyal dog; it always comes back. you know, my problems are like small and minor.
well it's the christmas season......and i still need to buy matt something cause i feel sooo bad that he bought me something and i haven't bought him one. but it's not the fact that he's giving something to me, but it honestly well....why am i buying him a present. yeah brian.....u are wrong...i don't buy everyone gifts....most of them when i have the time in the summer, i make them. you know what would be the best gift to recieve? at this present moment, i want a puzzle. no no, not just any ordinary puzzle you see. i want something that is like this......a puzzle that is specially made, yeah i know it's very expensive and such, but like those pictures that are huge and made into a puzzle. i want that because then it would be a constant reminder of the time i spent being happy, or at least outwardly happy. maybe then i'd remember how it feels to at least have happiness only for a short period of time. yeah, i've made myself unpleasant. i've made myself bitter. i've choosen to live this way, and even because i don't regret anything i do, i can honestly regret being bitter and livin my life this way. so basically, iv've regreeds my whole life....or at least from the time that i had the willingness to pick and choose.
well it's the christmas season......and i still need to buy matt something cause i feel sooo bad that he bought me something and i haven't bought him one. but it's not the fact that he's giving something to me, but it honestly well....why am i buying him a present. yeah brian.....u are wrong...i don't buy everyone gifts....most of them when i have the time in the summer, i make them. you know what would be the best gift to recieve? at this present moment, i want a puzzle. no no, not just any ordinary puzzle you see. i want something that is like this......a puzzle that is specially made, yeah i know it's very expensive and such, but like those pictures that are huge and made into a puzzle. i want that because then it would be a constant reminder of the time i spent being happy, or at least outwardly happy. maybe then i'd remember how it feels to at least have happiness only for a short period of time. yeah, i've made myself unpleasant. i've made myself bitter. i've choosen to live this way, and even because i don't regret anything i do, i can honestly regret being bitter and livin my life this way. so basically, iv've regreeds my whole life....or at least from the time that i had the willingness to pick and choose.
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