hey hey hey hey everybody, wuz up? hehehehe=>:d i'm bored, but den again, i always am. yupz yupz.....talking about nothing to no one rite now. hehehe=>:D everyone's eitha having like din din or like just watching or gaming stuff. hehehe=>:D so yes, whateva, it's all kool. meh sooo bored. well everybody, dat's all my thoughts at the present moment. i'm feeling kinda happy. hehehe=>:D well gonna go now....l8a

some people ask why i should care about the homosexual thing, just because i ain't a homosexual.......it means alot if you are or not. but i won't post what i believe on the homosexual matter, because then i would be inflicting too much upon those i shouldn't cross. i would be misusing my own rites and putting down homosexuals. i value homosexuals....maybe for the way that they believe and put into action and show the world for what they believe. i truly see this as a good point, but i see a lot of bad points too, but everyone has their flaws.

don't ask meh if i think it's wrong or rite....because if you know meh well....u wouldn't need to ask....unless u were unsure for yourself den ask and i can provide and answer for you. well just read romans and dere would be my answer.....dat's totally all my thougths for now....

entries soo short, maybe it's better this way.....so then u can't know meh as well as u want to. sighs sighs. some days, i feel as if i should just never come bad, but i just find this pointless, u will always need shelter and protection, it's just in our nature. the words to dat bedingfield song is very appropriate for for the feelings that i almost always feel. "i don't wanna run away, but i can't take it, i don't understand."

to keep you happy, i don't haveta be happy, just show a happy face to you. how difficult is that? i say, not very difficult at all. but now adays, the difficulty of the matter goes beyond meh, i cannot look happy simply because my unhappiness is just too great to bear now days. one may wish to have days like old, but i just wish dat sum days should have never came. maybe i cause more trouble for myself....maybe i do....maybe it's supposed to be dat way.

everything is just a state of mind. well u mite not understand where i'm coming from or where i'm going to with this thought, but i dun intend to tell you what and why and where. some things just ain't meant to be understood by everyone.

well dat's all i have for the nite.....

ping an.....

maybe it's my paranoia....but i dunno....i hate this feeling of loneliness. as days progress, i feel as if this empty void grows larger. that shouldn't be the case but maybe it's just meh....sighs sighs....

hm....well here....dis is sumthing i may haveta get off my chest....cause i feel very very bad......

sunday skool, why can't the teacher give meh sum other teachings? why have i heard em all? why do i understand em all? why have i faced a trial almost similar to the results of which dey said dey went through? it bugs meh. yeah. these experiences are coming from a man that is close to his 50's....or even early 50's......but yet.....everything he took years to conquer over, i went through in a matter of days, weeks, or months. but da only thing dat i have trouble with is person.

sighs sighs. yeah....that thinking about death wishes kinda surprised meh. yeah yeah....let da dead worry about emselves and all, but really it can't be helped....i'm going to be the dead person, i'm preparing for da dead since i am da dead person.

maybe i shouldn't know....yeah.....person dat taught sunday skool wanted meh to ask a question about my faith.....but really.....i couldn't even think of a single one. but yet....every single one dat he asked....i could answer....wuz wrong with meh? grrrr......going insane...well kinda.....