Sunday, January 11, 2004

you don't ever need to change yourself just to get a person to like you. they either like you or they don't. building a relationship must be focused on just that.

LOVE YOU HATE YOU, I CAN"T CHANGE YOU
hated by many, loved by few. hate me, love me, i will always still be me
crappers. is n e one up with me when it comes to being dissed as a christian? who wants to be with me and get prosecuted because i'm a jesus freak?!?!

that comment really drove me up the wall....why, i don't know why. args args. my head hurts like hell. my sister says it's due to my stress levels and how i react to stress. my sister wants me to take a course in releasing stress. this is soo not going to help. i just naturally think. am i going to die early because i think too much?

args. death isn't a bad thing, but will my mission be finished before i die? hm. there is a time for everything. i really love this blog thingy. i suppose i will loose the skill in writing though. args args. hm. if i were gone, i can't say i won't be missed. so i won't say it.

hm, i hate it when people talk about people behind their backs. i mean, i have the guts to talk about bad shit in front of people if i were really angry at someone. but people think i'm a gutless girl. i am the person that ran in front of a car because i wanted to die. but everytime i've tried to kill myself....i've survived. that tells you sumthing doesn't it? but i suppose if i got shot, maybe it would be the end.

there were some girls from vaughan that died. everyone that knows them is morning. well i have no clue who the heck they are, but i can say, i feel thier loss. i've never felt the loss of someone that meant alot to me, but, i have lost myself. you may think it's not possible, it sure is. but it doesn't matter. the fact is, there is a meaning for everything. there is a time for everything. just because to us now, it may seem that they died soo youn and had soo much potential, but at the present moment, maybe it could be worst.
hm, i don't know. teenage problems. args. sooo very annoying. so very tired. hm. have english stuff to talk about tom. hm. how i really miss people. but when i'm with people, i learn to hate and find dissatisfaction. hm. yeah, i am a very nice person. or so people tell me. it's confusing. everyone's like "you're too nice, and he's such a jerk." the truth is, well, i'm nice because i like to be nice. i really want others to be nice to all those too. but then again, is there a point in being nice? hm.

args....how i wish i won't think about february 18th....