da dee dee dum da dee dum da dee dum. da da dee da dee dum da dee dum da dee dum. blah blah blah.......

the trouble with love is.....it can tear your heart apart....make your heart believe a lie.....and it's stronger than your pride.....hm....wonder why these lyrices are still stuck in my head....i am not in love...and i do not love anyone...well maybe i do...just not consiously....meh...

hm....some reason...addicted to like music that's only beats. but i hate beat boxes....hm...whack...

man....i don't know what's wrong...but i really like feel like crap....and i'm pissed off...but maybe i'm just tired...sighs sighs.

synonyms to apathy.... Insensibility; unfeelingness; indifference; unconcern; stoicism; supineness; sluggishness.

so basically....indifference. meh.....do you really live life apathetically?

sighs....i think i'm falling in love with the first cute guy i see....or at least saw...this is sooo disgusting.....args...i'm going through that phase again....eww....ewww.....

i'm just stressing about way too much a little to late...sighs sighs.....but meh...whateva.....

sighs sighs....i don't know why....but all i can think of to say is this....when i learn to drive...the first person i go to see purposely is to go see you....and this person....you know who you are...... i think you do and hope that you do know at least. but meh....time will tell. it's dangerous to drive...and i suck at it....i can only pray that i will get better....

well i was reading one of those boooks on psychology as i normally do...since my interest is only in psychology or at least how one's mind begins to think. i think it is interesting...but you may not. but anyways....one thing really affected me when i came to reading this little line that was only about a 4 worded sentence. it goes like this, "apthy results to nothing." and to that i add this....nothing results from apathy. yes....many say that i am apathetic.....but yet i am more sensetive than most. weird aye?

the past is what defines us as being us.....but it's how we live to what affected us in the past that really counts. so rather shall i say it is the way we live because of the past that defines us. it is unimportant of what happened in the past, but how you reacted and are reacting to it that matters. but saying it that way still makes the past important doesn't it? i don't know how to make the past sound unimportant....but maybe it's more like the past is important...it's just a matter of if you dwell on it or not.

oh...on the topic of the past...great topic....the sermon was about the past too. and i started to cry....it was like practically talking to me for some reason. sighs sighs. i can't really remember how he said it...but he said something that went like this. the past shouldn't hinders you as a christian. the little gap that the past has created was meant to be there to be filled with the love a GOD. that emptiness is important. you yearn for love after hardships....it's normal....but the love of GOD is and will and should be what fills that yearning.