dreams can come true. if you make them come true, then they will. man...that sounded soo much better in chinese!!! args....but whatever.....should i go to bcbc tonight??? sighs sighs....really don't want to....but i suppose it's for GOD.....so the question should be.....why won't i? and why shouldn't i? there is nothing better cept to do what GOD wants...so yeah......meh....

children now days are becoming more pessimistic. and there are a few reasons for that......but you prolly have your own theories, so i do not need to explain mine....

hm.....yeah, it's true.....i haven't been myself lately, but who am i anyways? it doesn't matter, as long as i enjoy the way i am there is nothing that i cannot say as being "myself". if you are afraid of betrayal, then you are not worthy of being a human. well i know that sounds harsh, but let me explain. in order to be human, you must take risks and get hurt. if you are unwilling to get hurt, then you can't even be living. this is the reason for my thinking: even if others don't hurt you, you can still hurt yourself. you yourself can still betray yourself. so by saying that, do you get my drift or must i explain more? okay, so here i go to explain more. betrayal is ever present. you cannot prevent it from happening. now days, it is almost like second nature, if not already is, to betray. humans will ever be greedy and selfish. people only want what is best for them. i mean....you may say that you only want what is best for them, but by saying that, maybe you thought what would be best according to your mind. so basically, it is somewhat selfish behind all the motives. but i just think too much

it's weird. but my pc messed up, and i'm too lazy to reformat everything. so i am basically just going to be on the school pc's for a while now. hm. i'm type alot and very quickly and well, i really like that sound of typing. my keyboard has no sound when i type. but i truly enjoy this sound. in the background i hear people whispering. and then i feel other's thinking away or just plain thinking stupid thoughts. but, all in all, in this quiet room, i am getting looked at so very much, but i do not care. i enjoy typing away. wow....this is one stupid stupid entry.

gaining true happiness isn't simply giving something and then being given something in return. that would just be a give and take relationship, would it not? in order to gain true happiness, you must find the right path, and the best type of journey for yourself to travel. Maybe your route is the most travelled path. and then there are others that the less travelled path is the best route. by saying the less travelled path, i am not relating this with the christian path, but the path that you yourself must travel on. there maybe times when you completely doubt yourself. but then in the end, you become reassured of the one thing you completely doubted yourself for.

my mother and the doctor agree on the same thing. they agree that i am chronically depressed. now i'm supposed to go see a psychiatrist and see why i feel this feeling.

happiness sometimes must be forced in order to live as it is apart of life.....true happiness is when the feeling of forced happiness is not a feeling of being forced or daily routine. true happiness is when your soul naturally smiles and rejoices without you purposely doing so. true happiness is when your mind can't help but to find whatever it does best and rejoice. true happiness is when you find that special something that it can rely on no matter where and what and when. but whatever your problems may be......someone out there does care.....