i don't like church. and i am isolating myself. why does no one come and talk to me n e more? why must i always start the conversations? sighs sighs. i should not listen to music anymore. all music makes me upselt. sighs sighs. feeling lonely tonight. args. feeling kinda sick tonight. a rgs. pukcing tonight. args args.

see, when i come to fact that i don't like anyone, i have hit the depression of my life. i have hit it really bad. i have started to eat non-stop now. there is something that must be extremely wrong. args. i'm crying now. but no one hears my teras. i mean, no human presence that is. sighs sighs.

exams are coming, and i'm always breaking down at times like these. sighs sighs. i am crying now.....and the tears are flowing down sooo very rapidly. sighs sighs.

yeah tommy asked me a question tonight, do my memories of me and him haunt me. the fact is....they used to. it took me close to 8 to 10 months to get over the haunted feeling i got. sighs sigh. args. stomache in pain. args. feel like puking. args. mind over matter. mind over matter i will be alright. i will be alright. args. no one cares to ever read my thoughts. but my thoughts are for myself, not for myself to read, but for myself to release my negative energies.

swearing makes me feel much better because it's a way to release all my negative energies. i can't breather properly. and my heart really hurts too. args args. hm.

at least i will be going to pmall tom. but at pmall i always feel outta place. i'm too white to be asian...and i'm tooo asian to be white. i will foreever be haunted by question like that. args args.