yeah.....suppose so...
no one wants to be surrounded by unhappiness....yeah....i noe dat...
i guess dat's why i'd rather be the lone person so far...
unhappiness and struggles and problems is a repelent to everyone in the world....
nor am i alone....i know i'm not....
i mite have another friend giveup on meh...i'm used to being abandonned and feeling lonely
i know i'm not lonely...
u ask me why i dun run to GOD....
hahaha=>:d some prays aren't answered immediately
mine.....will not be answered immediately...
i run away knowing i can't hide, but i still find enjoyment in trying to do it
hahaha=>:D no one has the energy to cheer meh up....think i don't know that???
hahah=>:D see.....i post my thoughts.....not hoping n e one would land on em.....hahah=>:d
yeah...i'm a trouble....
muhahah=>:d smilez....so yeah....whatever u say....
ur anger...i can feel....my anger...still misunderstood....hahah=>:D
troubled??? am i troubled??? u mite think so.....u mite not understand meh...maybe no one does cept GOD and i.....think i care??? yeah i do.....problem with that??? tons, but none. so yeah...muhahaha=>:D
so life goes on no matta what....yeah yeah....why live life soo negatively? i shouldn't.....but i do....why??? cause i dun try n e ways else....why dun i try??? cause when i do try.....i hurt myself more.....yeah...i'm selfish. i'd rather hurt everyone else than to hurt other's more.......well yeah...that;s it.....i've lost soo much already....i just haven't lost self....have u not noticed dat already????
yeah...give up.....i've already had enuff giving up.....i can handle it.....

i wuz reading sumthing over again lately.
sighs sighs....all my happiest moments lost, but still in my heart and mind.
grrr...
why am i such a controversial person?yeah, i've noticed it too.....i no longer seem to be able to be happy. sighs sighs.
yupz....ur happy.....i suppose i am happy for ya. hehehe
i am happy that you found ur other half.
i suppose i'm still trying to hard to actually live and feel lyphe as how i once felt it.
maybe all i need is just to fall back and chill for a while.
maybe i'll be fine dat way, maybe i wun.,.....maybe i will never be fine again..
grrr.....i'm like living the plot of meteor garden!!! grr......dis is bull yo!!!
grr.....
i guess that's my consequence for knowing and experiencing soo much of 16 years....maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
each and every situation has it's pros and it's cons...i suppose rite now at my age it just seems to have more cons. grrr...
i don't and won't promise to be a happier person, cause i know i won't be.
this is the way i am, i am very pessemistic....but at the same time...optimistic....u dun like it??? den screw urself.
so yeah, i talk like a person my age, but if you actually read the meaning behind the words, maybe that wun be what you see....maybe it is....i dunno. have fun...whatever...
i always have extremely long thoughts, why? cuase i think alot, i have alot to say and express.
no one really understands meh fully....but then again....do i really want that kinda understanding??? doubt it...
whatever....gonna go...have fun....grrr...
i guess i'm just very very angry rite now. grrr.....
maybe i'm just frustrated...grrr...

through all my dark times i see...
through all the light i'm blinded...
will i stay like this forever???
will i always have an open eye???
will i always be the gurl next door???
will i always feel this way???
why are these feelings being prolonged???
why am i not able to get rid of it???
do i constanly have some sort of faith and hope???
This FAITH i am not refering to CHRISTANITY.
the thing is....where am i going???
i have no aim, i have no home, just to be
i don't wanna be but i am just being.
why??? WHY???? WHY?!?!?!?!?