no one seems to understand.....is it always my fault??? why is it always my fault???
am i rised to think that everything is my fault???
maybe it is....maybe it ain't....sighs....what can i do??? dere's nothing i can do, cept to change...
change....do i wanna??? do i haveta???
i wanna be happy.....but dat's all n e one ever sees.....
everyone just sees like self'pity when i try to say my problems.....why should i tell my problems to everyone if all n e ones says is dat my problems is self-pity. dat's stupid...grrr....it's evil....why dun peeps understand.
if everyone says dat all my problems are just self-pity, do you think i'd ever wanna say dem to peeps n e more??? dat's da reason why i dun speak much n e more.......no one wanna actually wanna hear what i haveta say.....dey just wanna figure things for emselves......self-centered??? i suppose....but den again...maybe not.

treatment of others.....okayz...everyone treats meh pretty well....but i suppose i dun treat em well enuff??? what can i say??? i have no clue......
i should love everyone even thought it hurts.....but why am i unable to do dat??? i just cannot love everyone....why???
sighs...maybe i loves everyone for too long and hurt tooo much.....sighs....i have no clue...

i am lost for words....dere are no words for what i wanna say....u just haveta understand what i am going through in my head....which no one would understand cause u ain't meh...nor will you eva be....
i wanna fly, i wanna cry, just wanna spread my wings and learn to fly.....yups yups...it's my song.....a very stupid song....but if you understand what i'm trying to say, u'd be da one flying.....so yeah.....i have no clue....cause i dunno muchie n e ways...
i just pretend to noe muchie....not dat i dun wanna noe alot. ddere's just alot of stuff i cannot noe cause i just would never be able to.

in my mind.....i can think upon my own philosophies....most other times when i am not thinking of my own philosophies....i'm thinking bits and pieces of song lyrics.....one i have is dis....i am nothing but mud to you.....it's from a song, but i can't really rememba which song....just dat i noe it ain't english....oh wellz. i have no clue.

well all my thoughts our long....why??? because i have much dat i wanna say dat i can't say cause peeps dun wanna listen to meh....at least even doe not many peeps read dis...at least i get it outta meh.....so yea.....hahaha=>?:D

i'm critical...very critical.....tonite miss universe was on....everyone dat went on stage....i could critisize....i mean...i could critisize about everything.....so in a sense....i wanna find someon dat i will not critisize....someone dat i cannot critisize...or eitha dat...someone dat accepts meh for onewho critisizes alot.....

so who are you??? can you handle my critisizm??? if you can't....why are you even my friend????

just cause i can see bad things dun mean dat i can't see da happy things....just cause most of my light is black...it dun mean dat i can't see da bright light ahead.......
man...all i can see in this miss universe is sooo fake....everyone hugs and kisses each other on da cheek.....as a sign of repect and stuff....but ewww....dey know dey dun really like each other!!!dere smiles are soo fake.....da damn woman only gives what da crowd wants.....it's soo disgusting in a way.....it's really grossing meh out..ewwww....wuz up with all dat i'm shocked look and actions on dere faces?!?!? it's stupid....sooo stupid.....grrrr......dese stupid like posers are like soo fake and driving meh insane!!!or maybe in a sense....i wish what i had what dey have.....a fake confidence......oh wellz....it's just dat i hate being around such fake peeps....and meh....i noe i'm fake....but with those who noe meh well......why would i need to be fake?!?!? i have no need to be fake......those who don't like meh....wun like meh........

well dat's all i have for tonite.....hahaha=>:d i have posted two thoughts...muhahaha=>:d funnay.....yupz yupz...l8a...luv ya....

what can i say? when i need rest because my body can't take all this n e more, my parents start yelling. dey dun let meh have rest....don't they understand that i have not been sleeping at nites??? do they not hear meh tossing and turning??? or when i am asleep....that i scream and i cry??? do they not notice???

they say i'm cold.....or i'm just "cool" they say i'm hopeless or have a lack of hopes.....they say that i give the impression that the whole world owes meh sumthing.....are they wrong???

am i cold??? i always thought i wuz compassionate and kind.......they say i'm hopeless....that i must disagree.....i just can't smile because i ain't happy on the inside, dat dun make meh hopeless. they say i give an impression that the whole world owes meh sumthing...maybe dat is my outlook of lyphe.....dat what comes around goes around.

of mice and men, da very ending.....harsh reality meet a lil compassion.....where's my compassion in lyphe??? where's what i deserve??? reality is harsh, u never get what u suppose u deserve....becuase if you really think about it.....u deserve nothing....no matta how good a person you claim to be.....truth is...deep down inside...u don't think of how corrupted you are and how quote in quote evil you are.

i suppose i give the impression dat the whole world owes meh sumthing cause well....i'm unhappy all da time......da same thing my family pisses meh off is da same thing why i can't tolerate my friends.....da only diff is dat i haveta tolerate my family cause dey live with meh day in and day out....i have no choice but to give em my love and respects.....
dey dun understand what type of person i am....dey do not understand dat i don't think like a typical person.....
i don't want to even say what i know most people would say.....all dey've told meh so far is u haveta live in da shoes of others to actually know how it is to live lyphe.....what da heck is all dat supposed to mean???
am i not living??? just cause i'm not enjoying dun mean i ain't living....yes....not living to da max of full potential, but it dun mean dat i ain't living...

i can feel da wind above meh....i can feel the earth below meh......what more can someone want?
i think i live a simple live....not too much money, but not too lilmoney dat i haveta stress....
grrr.....
well i dunno....meh feeling kinda semi lost......grrrrr