i'm pissed off. i'm letting the world noe. blah. i don't care!

yeah, people that i gave my like blog site to can read if they want. i know most of them won't. but meh.

blah.....

the phrase that just runs through my head over and over again is like saying, why do i keep people like you as friends when honestly i don't feel important to you n e ways. it's going, i don't need enemies if i have friends like you. over and over again, it's what i feel and what is being repeated in my head.

i know my enemies can make me happy even though they are "enemies." are friends people that just make you feel bad because they can?

there is a very small difference between enemies and friends. both of them know the way you tick. they can tick you off simply because you care. and because of so, it makes you more human. args args.

i hate you at the present moment. i hate all of you. i feel sooo abandoned.......i feel sooo worthless.......i feel sooooo much more human.......

......if you ain't my friend, you are my enemy.....

unhappy and unpleasant

blah.

you ask me to go to toronto with you. you cancel our plans. but it is not you who tells me, but rather only tell me when i ask of you. what the fuck is that all about? you don't bother calling because if i said you could have messaged me you would have said i wasn't on line. you are a total bser.

i told you once that you were going to loose me because all you do is chill with your bf. i have told you twice........you have not changed once! why the hell do i bother to stick with you when i don't feel as if i'm all that important n e more. i tell you time after time, that you were going to loose me then, and now is no different. blah. i still feel that the only place that you feel safe is with your bf, and you don't trust me enough to chill with me. your bf freaks on you because he thinks it's not safe.....args, so you risk everything listening to him. i'm sorry, i don't like what is happening n e more than he does you know. but still, i am pissed off at no one cept you and him. I was your friend long before you even knew him. yet, you seem to not care...or care really little about what the hell happens to me. i know nothing happening in your life, and you know nothing going on in mine. i am for sure you don't bother to read my thoughts like many other people who don't. meh, oh wellz.

yeah, i am warning you on line. i am not that once very very forgiving person i once was. i am now very bitter and every little thing that happens will piss me off. so i am warning you, you will not have just lost someone, you will loose someone more.

my parents advise to stick with you because you are a great person with alot of potential. my parents say you are really good to their friends. yeah i know you can be. but what about now? blah. it doesn't seem like n e of this is going to end, so what different does it make?


be warned......i told you twice already that you need to change, i see no effort in doing so. blah. he is your first bf....i understand, but i give you no reason or excuse to treat your "friends" the way you do now.

yeah pat....you read....you get pissed as much as you want......i honestly don't care at the moment. if i have friends like you two, i don't need enemies.....

Friends like You

blah, i have many memories with alot of people. some i call my friends now, and some i just call the long lost people. sighs sighs.

see, those that i call friends now are seriously becoming a smaller group each and everyday. every day, there is something new that i find out i will no longer be able to handle. each and everyday i learn a new fact about him or her that i find very hard to swallow. and everyday, i learn something that just pisses me off sooo bad that i find extrememly hard to forgive, but forgive you none the less.

sighs sighs,

honestly, i think chilling is a very vital essential thing in a friendship. i mean, if you don't think i'm all that important, you won't spend the time to chill with me. so yeah, that just tells you how important you think i am. my priorities are different than you, i know, still, if i have friends like you, why the hell would i need enemies? enemies are people who make me feel like shit n e ways, so basically, my friends or so called friends are doing that quite well as it is n e ways. so yeah, why the hell do i need enemies?!?!?

Messed Up

blah, i feel as if you people are like afraid to hang out with me just cause i'm still friend with certain people. what the hell? args args. you freak out and worry sooo muchie. ags args

honestly, i feel sooo used cause all we ever talk about is either your problems or your worries. basically, the same thing. blah. it's not my fault now is it? sighs sighs. i have my problems too, and you pushing your fears onto my life is not something that i want to ever happen. and well my friends are my life, but do i really need a friend that is unwilling to ever chill with me just becuase they are afraid to live their own life? holy shit.....i don't need this crap.

no one controls my life....i mean, i have limitations to things that i do because i know they are wrong. i don't do many things because i know i would rather not lie to my parents about something that i've done. i know, i can lie to my parents about something i will be doing, but something that i will do is another story. it's more difficult for me to lie about something that i've done. i feel guilty for doing something wrong. so yeah, excuse me, i have many boundaries that i am happy to live up to! yeah, you may say it's a control, i say it's not. a control is something that runs your life, my parents don't do that. they simply just give me the rules knowing that i will break a few and keep the rest i don't break.

Priorities

see, every one says my priorities are in the wrong place. i don't believe that's right. blah.

just because my priorities are different than yours, it gives you no right to say they are wrong!

args args. just bcause i put everyone i love in the same category, it does not mean that they are wrong. my friends, my family, my to be bf........they would all rank the same to me......my family is my life, my friends and to be bf would be my family, so ultimately, they are my life......but no one understands that. blah.

i am not odd, i am not strange, i am not WRONG, i am just different than you!

blah.......don't tell me to set my priorities straight, i no myself full well, the thing is whether or not you accept me. if you don't accept my priorities, you don't accept me. so just lay off! i don't need another enemy if i have friends like you!

don't need this!

sighs sighs. summer's ended and nothing is the same as it was. most of us have gone back to school and are still going back to school, but nothing is the same n e more. i'm like loosing friends day after day. sighs sighs.

every day there's sumthing new that pisses me off. it just gets worst and worst. why doesn't this ever go away?

honestly, i'm sorry, i don't think i'm becoming more adultish.....if anything, i'm becoming more immature. or maybe it's because all my life i have been through sooo much shit that i just no longer want to like i am.

actually, i don't even know who i am n e more. blah. i am sabina, but who is sabina? what are her values, morals? what was her story about?

sighs sighs. no one can help me define who i am except for myself. sighs sighs. life's sucha bitch.