boo!!!!! did i scare you?!?! keke^^

args........man....on average....i type like 13 enteries a week.....that's about like 1.85 per day.......crappers.....

bytching about your problems to is only haf the serious matter. the serious part is what you get out of the bytching.....nothing helps n e more...

i have no more energy to invest in anyone...halfly cause every amount of me that i invest in others never comes back....i mean....yes....about the 100% i give out....i only reacieve about 5% back. a machine can't run on 5% efficiency....nor can a human. now....is it my fatal error that i care or is it not? the answer is yes and no.

...if someone were to love you they couldn't hate n e part of you. if you truly loved someone.....as a friend...as mother, father....sister whatever.....you love them for who they are.....imperfect.....you love someone for all their imperfections...not what they can do right.

honestly....sometimes i say i hate someone and so and so for doing something....and then i come to think about it.....i never really have hated them......it may have caused me more problems to deal with...but being on trial makes a person better sometimes.

in my case though....i should stay away from n e thing that would make me feel upset....because well...if i don't.....i'll be unpleasant. the world doesn't like a downer....and nore does it like someone being happy all the time. but the truth is.....people would rather see you faking what you aren't then to see your true self.

isn't talking to someone only cause you wanna bytch bout your problems called using someone? that's just the way i've always looked at it.....i'd rather be there when you are up and down....not just for the uppers.....nor just for the downers.....i don't want someone who'll just listen to my problems cause that's the only time they want to help.....

as i said.....i've lost all my energies and good spirit to help n e one out n e more.....i'm becoming more cold.....self-centered. i've lost myself in the sea of selfishness.....and i don't think n e one wants to save me cause well....they don't want me drown em in this sea

stupid friking as pc....stupid hackers...mother fuckers....

stupid fucking pc....args args....pat.....how the hell am i supposed to fix sumthing i can't read cause i can't read every chinese word? what the hell?

i don't know....but i post sooo many entries now days....

do i really nhave that many things running through my head or is it because i like to post stupid things to have me constanly not thinking about other things that would make me upset? i don't know why....but i feel like i'm using everything and everyone that i know....sighs sighs......

for some reason.....i have a feeling a death defying feeling that something bad is gonna happen to me.....args.......i hope it wont happen....

i publish a whole load of bs i suppose....sighs sighs....

you are sick of people asking if you are alrights...and i know it too......i know you appreciate it...but you are still getting sick of it. see.......people wouldn't have to ask if you allowed to understand....but maybe that's everyone's problem. when you have the attention....you don't want it....and when you have no one's attnetion....all you want is attention......

man.....don't know if i'm feeling good or if i'm feeling bad.....i really don't know cause well bri boi just ain't feeling all dat great....

you are not useless to me ar. just knowing you want to help means the world to me.....you might not notice....but you mean the world to me either way. and there aren't many that do even though i'd die for them.....

i don't know what's wrong....but i've been really moody lately.....i want to help you....but i can't even help myself....but maybe we can just go through everything together like how we used to.....it's sooo rare to have problems at the same times now days......it's always me upset...then you...then me...then you.....and it's always a cycle.....it's weird how it happens....different orbits around the same universe i suppose....

stupid fucking add....what the fucking hell?

args...stupid friken pc...a.rgs args....

i hate this.....stupid getting hacked by a stupid add....stupid ip number....i can't even fix it n e more cause i can't read n e thing in my pc....fuck this man....i gotsta get it all reformatted only cause i can't fix it!!! fuck!

sighs....people don't tell me n e thing n e more....and i think it's cause they are worried that i'd get worried and i'd get more stressed then i already ma. but the truth of the matter is....i can handle everyone else's troubles except mine....and allowing tme to think of my own troubles only makes things worst....sighs sighs...

i think too much.....too many odd random thoughts....sighs sighs. oh wellz. meh.....

why tell me that you have no girlfriend even when you've had one for like about a year? are you afraid that i wouldn't help you on your homework? keke^^ i'm not that type of person. if anyone asked me to help them with their homework i woulda helped either way. i don't care if you are not single or not. it didn't really matter. i just don't understand why yo'd lie to me like that. that's sooo evil of you. why does everyone like to decieve me? it it because it is easy to decieve someone who is very trust worthy? blah.....you a stinka.....boo whoo whoo

every word i have said to you.....not you...but another.....i have said in spite, hatred and anger. and even though i have said these words....i do not take them back. why you may ask? it's because i believe in every word i say is true. i believe you a crook. you have stole people's virginity and life. you have stole what is most precious to a girl. even if you do not believe so and so many others don't either. it's because your morales are low. it is because your human form is weak. yes.....i am saying this in anger....you have a problem? yeah.....i am a goodie two shoes....you have a problem? yeah....i am a christian? now what are you going to do? kill me? go ahead....i'd rather die then to live behind fake morals i know are not true....so go ahead an stalk me and point a gun to my head. yeah......the person i'm saying this to.....you know where i live....come and kill me cause i know you hate me. i know every part of me you can't hate because i've only shown you love. but every part of you still hates me because i have loved you and you don't understand it. now who's problem is that? mind or yours? it's not like you read my thoughts anyways...so it doesn't matter who i am ranting about. only those that are really close to me will know which person i am talking about. and even if they are close to me.....i have left the doors open to being two people......you can only know who i'm talking about if you are me.....but i am talking about both and no one at the same time.....oh wellz....gotsta stop ranting....l8a

gotsta pay close attention to my health....if i don't......i'll prolly get cancer....this is scary. hm. no i don't pms......but then again....i pms 24/7. sighs sighs. it's sad i know...but i really can't help it.... sighs sighs. i'm always moody now....and i just can't help it...sighs sighs