bytching about your problems to is only haf the serious matter. the serious part is what you get out of the bytching.....nothing helps n e more...

i have no more energy to invest in anyone...halfly cause every amount of me that i invest in others never comes back....i mean....yes....about the 100% i give out....i only reacieve about 5% back. a machine can't run on 5% efficiency....nor can a human. now....is it my fatal error that i care or is it not? the answer is yes and no.

...if someone were to love you they couldn't hate n e part of you. if you truly loved someone.....as a friend...as mother, father....sister whatever.....you love them for who they are.....imperfect.....you love someone for all their imperfections...not what they can do right.

honestly....sometimes i say i hate someone and so and so for doing something....and then i come to think about it.....i never really have hated them......it may have caused me more problems to deal with...but being on trial makes a person better sometimes.

in my case though....i should stay away from n e thing that would make me feel upset....because well...if i don't.....i'll be unpleasant. the world doesn't like a downer....and nore does it like someone being happy all the time. but the truth is.....people would rather see you faking what you aren't then to see your true self.

isn't talking to someone only cause you wanna bytch bout your problems called using someone? that's just the way i've always looked at it.....i'd rather be there when you are up and down....not just for the uppers.....nor just for the downers.....i don't want someone who'll just listen to my problems cause that's the only time they want to help.....

as i said.....i've lost all my energies and good spirit to help n e one out n e more.....i'm becoming more cold.....self-centered. i've lost myself in the sea of selfishness.....and i don't think n e one wants to save me cause well....they don't want me drown em in this sea