i can no diagnose myself. and i openly admit that i am a social phobic person. it's sad i know.
but as i'm reading the information on http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1. i notice that i myself am more and more like the people that they describe in it. many times, when i explain myself and why i feel so scared, some people don't understand, i finally understand why they don't. i mean, i have sensitive friends that won't make me do n e thing i won't and i love them all for that. it's sooo great that i have friends like that. i've never really thought that it was such a serious problems until lately. especially when i become moody, i notice this in the worst way possible. it's scary.
please...will you just read what http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1 says?!?!? please.....if you want to understand me better.....i really think you need to read this. but most people could probably figure out what being socially phobic means n e ways by simply just linking the words. but still....i really think it's important that you read it okay?!?!? please and thanks....
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, November 02, 2004
socially phobic
A woman hates to stand in line in the grocery store because she's afraid that everyone is watching her. She knows that it's not really true, but she can't shake the feeling. While she is shopping, she is conscious of the fact that people might be staring at her from the big mirrors on the inside front of the ceiling. Now, she has to talk to the person who's checking out her groceries. She tries to smile, but her voice comes out weakly. She's sure she's making a fool of herself. Her self-consciousness and anxiety rise to the roof...
Another person sits in front of the telephone and agonizes because she's afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call. She's even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the electric bill because she's afraid she'll be "putting someone out" and they will be upset with her. It's very hard for her to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn't know. She's especially afraid to call people she does know because she feels that she'll be calling at the wrong time -- the other person will be busy -- and they won't want to talk with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call. Once the call is made and over, she sits, analyzes, and ruminates about what was said, what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other person....her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her that she "goofed" this conversation up, too, just like she always does. Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.
A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he's self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person will know he's frightened. More than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.
A man hates to go to work because a meeting is scheduled the next day. He knows that these meetings always involve co-workers talking with each other about their current projects. Just the thought of speaking in front of co-workers raises his anxiety. Sometimes he can't sleep the night before because of the anticipatory anxiety that builds up. Finally, the meeting is over. A big wave of relief spills over him as he begins to relax. But the memory of the meeting is still uppermost in his mind. He is convinced he made a fool of himself and that everyone in the room saw how afraid he was when he spoke, and how stupid he acted in their presence. At next week's meeting, the boss is going to be there. Even though this meeting is seven days away, his stomach turns raw with anxiety and fear floods over him again. He knows that in front of the boss he'll stammer, hesitate, his face will turn red, he won't remember what to say, and everyone will witness his embarrassment and humiliation. He has seven miserable days of anxiety ahead of him -- to think about it, ruminate over it, worry about it, over-exaggerate it in his mind.......again and again and again.....
A student won't attend her university classes on the first day because she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won't be able to think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she will leave out important details. Her voice might even quiver and she will sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear---so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having to introduce herself in class.
Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years.
^stories of some people or examples of some people that may be socially phobic
some of those feel tooo close to home really. it just proves you i am kinda figuring out my own problems. blah... is there any way to cure this kind of fear? social phobia is the greatest psychological disorder. sighs sighs. but the sad truth is that most people don't ever notice it. social phobia is when the person is overcome with anxiety by the mention of doing certain things, going to certain places....watching certain things...mostly....when self is involved, they will be afraid. sighs sighs.
oh my goodness.....people should read this site that i found about social anxiety.......http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1
to me......i can sooo relate. everything that is said on this site i can relate to because i constantly feel like that. and at times....all i really want to do is just shrink into a corner and be another fly on the wall. insignificant and small, at least being small and unnoticed leaves me not feeling rejected, but it gets awfully lonely. and people ask me why i'm turning into a recluse, the truth is....it's my nature, but it's not some place that i want to be....it's just that it's way to hard to control. you can control thoughts, but you can never ever control emotions. - jenny liu.
but i don't know. i can so relate.....and at many times......it's scary to see myself that way, but i am much happier this way than to be in a group or a crowd of people.
it's even sadder when i am like this with a group of close friends. i still feel like i'm being watched and judged. i still feel like everyone's staring........but i know they aren't. sighs sighs....it's sad really, but life can only move on, and i cannot dwell on feeling scared forever......
Another person sits in front of the telephone and agonizes because she's afraid to pick up the receiver and make a call. She's even afraid to call an unknown person in a business office about the electric bill because she's afraid she'll be "putting someone out" and they will be upset with her. It's very hard for her to take rejection, even over the phone, even from someone she doesn't know. She's especially afraid to call people she does know because she feels that she'll be calling at the wrong time -- the other person will be busy -- and they won't want to talk with her. She feels rejected even before she makes the call. Once the call is made and over, she sits, analyzes, and ruminates about what was said, what tone it was said in, and how she was perceived by the other person....her anxiety and racing thoughts concerning the call prove to her that she "goofed" this conversation up, too, just like she always does. Sometimes she gets embarrassed just thinking about the call.
A man finds it difficult to walk down the street because he's self-conscious and feels that people are watching him from their windows. Worse, he may run into a person on the sidewalk and be forced to say hello to them. He's not sure he can do that. His voice will catch, his "hello" will sound weak, and the other person will know he's frightened. More than anything else, he doesn't want anyone to know that he's afraid. He keeps his eyes safely away from anyone else's gaze and prays he can make it home without having to talk to anyone.
A man hates to go to work because a meeting is scheduled the next day. He knows that these meetings always involve co-workers talking with each other about their current projects. Just the thought of speaking in front of co-workers raises his anxiety. Sometimes he can't sleep the night before because of the anticipatory anxiety that builds up. Finally, the meeting is over. A big wave of relief spills over him as he begins to relax. But the memory of the meeting is still uppermost in his mind. He is convinced he made a fool of himself and that everyone in the room saw how afraid he was when he spoke, and how stupid he acted in their presence. At next week's meeting, the boss is going to be there. Even though this meeting is seven days away, his stomach turns raw with anxiety and fear floods over him again. He knows that in front of the boss he'll stammer, hesitate, his face will turn red, he won't remember what to say, and everyone will witness his embarrassment and humiliation. He has seven miserable days of anxiety ahead of him -- to think about it, ruminate over it, worry about it, over-exaggerate it in his mind.......again and again and again.....
A student won't attend her university classes on the first day because she knows that in some classes the professor will instruct them to go around the room and introduce themselves. Just thinking about sitting there, waiting to introduce herself to a roomful of strangers who will be staring at her makes her feel nauseous. She knows she won't be able to think clearly because her anxiety will be so high, and she is sure she will leave out important details. Her voice might even quiver and she will sound scared and tentative. The anxiety is just too much to bear---so she skips the first day of class to avoid the possibility of having to introduce herself in class.
Another young man wants to go to parties and other social events---indeed, he is very, very lonely---but he never goes anywhere because he's very nervous about meeting new people. Too many people will be there and crowds only make things worse for him. The thought of meeting new people scares him---will he know what to say? Will they stare at him and make him feel even more insignificant? Will they reject him outright? Even if they seem nice, they're sure to notice his frozen look and his inability to fully smile. They'll sense his discomfort and tenseness and they won't like him --- there's just no way to win --- "I'm always going to be an outcast," he predicts. And he spends the night alone, at home, watching television again. He feels comfortable at home. In fact, home is the only place he does feel completely comfortable. He hasn't gone anywhere else in twelve years.
^stories of some people or examples of some people that may be socially phobic
some of those feel tooo close to home really. it just proves you i am kinda figuring out my own problems. blah... is there any way to cure this kind of fear? social phobia is the greatest psychological disorder. sighs sighs. but the sad truth is that most people don't ever notice it. social phobia is when the person is overcome with anxiety by the mention of doing certain things, going to certain places....watching certain things...mostly....when self is involved, they will be afraid. sighs sighs.
oh my goodness.....people should read this site that i found about social anxiety.......http://www.socialphobia.org/whatis.html#whatis1
to me......i can sooo relate. everything that is said on this site i can relate to because i constantly feel like that. and at times....all i really want to do is just shrink into a corner and be another fly on the wall. insignificant and small, at least being small and unnoticed leaves me not feeling rejected, but it gets awfully lonely. and people ask me why i'm turning into a recluse, the truth is....it's my nature, but it's not some place that i want to be....it's just that it's way to hard to control. you can control thoughts, but you can never ever control emotions. - jenny liu.
but i don't know. i can so relate.....and at many times......it's scary to see myself that way, but i am much happier this way than to be in a group or a crowd of people.
it's even sadder when i am like this with a group of close friends. i still feel like i'm being watched and judged. i still feel like everyone's staring........but i know they aren't. sighs sighs....it's sad really, but life can only move on, and i cannot dwell on feeling scared forever......
tomorrow
tomorrow, i will have a halfday. it's sooo pointless. i only have class for about two hours and then nothing. that's total bull crap! args args. sooo stupid. but i think i'll probably count cans most of the day n e ways.
sighs sighs.
i feel like crap....
args args...
my ass is still in pain from this morning. args args...
fucking aye.....
sighs sighs.
i feel like crap....
args args...
my ass is still in pain from this morning. args args...
fucking aye.....
The Little Engine that Could
well let's just say i don't like trying new things.
i have never done anything that i couldn't do the first time. or maybe it's not that i can't....it's because i feel stupid doing them.
for example, some people say that puzzle's are frustrating.....i find them easy and fun.
some people say that knitting is tooo complicated.....i find it easy and relaxing.
some people say that they could never beat the computer at certain games....i have.....sometimes easily...
some people think highschool is hard.......i think it's easy when i want it to be....
i have never really had to try very very hard to do something properly. but there's something about dancing that drives me insane. i feel like a failure everytime i've ever danced. always. i mean, it's probably not because i'm doing it wrong.....maybe it's just the feeling that makes me feel like shit. i mean, i know no one's looking at me because i'm not all that special.....but it feels like everyone looks at me and mocks me and laughs. it's a confidence issue...this i already know. but it won't go away. unless someone wants to change the past, this way i feel won't ever go away. because for all i know, there have been people for years and years that looked at me, mocked me and laughed at me.
when dancing, or skating, or swimming.....i always feel sooo self-conscious. it feels as if the whole world is looking at me. and i just can't handle that. it feels like everyone laughs at me and hates me and scorns me for no certain reason. and that's just because of all those years that i was laughed at and hated.
i've already conquered a large proportion of this phobia....just don't make me cure it like this. i won't be going to any more classes. i'm serious.....it's a social phobia....and it will only get worst.....sighs sighs.
i know i can. i know i will. but for now.....i don't want to go to this class nor n e other class for the matter. i mean....i'd prolly get better, but i just can't stand it.
does anyone wanna take over this mission and try to cure me of my social phobia?
i have never done anything that i couldn't do the first time. or maybe it's not that i can't....it's because i feel stupid doing them.
for example, some people say that puzzle's are frustrating.....i find them easy and fun.
some people say that knitting is tooo complicated.....i find it easy and relaxing.
some people say that they could never beat the computer at certain games....i have.....sometimes easily...
some people think highschool is hard.......i think it's easy when i want it to be....
i have never really had to try very very hard to do something properly. but there's something about dancing that drives me insane. i feel like a failure everytime i've ever danced. always. i mean, it's probably not because i'm doing it wrong.....maybe it's just the feeling that makes me feel like shit. i mean, i know no one's looking at me because i'm not all that special.....but it feels like everyone looks at me and mocks me and laughs. it's a confidence issue...this i already know. but it won't go away. unless someone wants to change the past, this way i feel won't ever go away. because for all i know, there have been people for years and years that looked at me, mocked me and laughed at me.
when dancing, or skating, or swimming.....i always feel sooo self-conscious. it feels as if the whole world is looking at me. and i just can't handle that. it feels like everyone laughs at me and hates me and scorns me for no certain reason. and that's just because of all those years that i was laughed at and hated.
i've already conquered a large proportion of this phobia....just don't make me cure it like this. i won't be going to any more classes. i'm serious.....it's a social phobia....and it will only get worst.....sighs sighs.
i know i can. i know i will. but for now.....i don't want to go to this class nor n e other class for the matter. i mean....i'd prolly get better, but i just can't stand it.
does anyone wanna take over this mission and try to cure me of my social phobia?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)