maroon 5!!!!! she will be loved!!!!! wow....i never knew i had these songs. why do i have sooo many funky songs that i don't know about?!?!?!?!?!?!?......well i know most of my english songs will be from cat cause no one else sends me english songs.
jo still needs to send me that song named bitch! sighs sighs.
"look for the girl with the broken smile.
ask if she wants to stay for a while"
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Friday, October 08, 2004
headache...
holy shit....where'd the hell did i get japanese songs?!?!? shimatani hitomi?!?!? papillion!?1?!? what the hell!?!?!? it's the same song as that janet jackson song.....ew?!?!? does papillion have something to do with flight again?!?!? looks like butterfly but in french, but it's japanese?!?!? huh??!?!? does someone send me this?!?!? did i d/l this?!?!? egh.......who what how?!?!?
well yeah, i'm sick, and well....i just don't feel tooo well. blah blah. want some icecream though. want to hug a stuffed animal.
sighs sighs....
i'm sucha total chinese kid failure.....sighs sighs. blah blah.
want and need to find another church. i can't live like this!!! sighs sighs.
moving to brampton, at the present moment, i don't even know what i'll miss. i may miss my house because it has memories, maybe my friends, but that's what the car or bus or go is for. sighs sighs. i don't know. i live sucha sad existance. sighs
well yeah, i'm sick, and well....i just don't feel tooo well. blah blah. want some icecream though. want to hug a stuffed animal.
sighs sighs....
i'm sucha total chinese kid failure.....sighs sighs. blah blah.
want and need to find another church. i can't live like this!!! sighs sighs.
moving to brampton, at the present moment, i don't even know what i'll miss. i may miss my house because it has memories, maybe my friends, but that's what the car or bus or go is for. sighs sighs. i don't know. i live sucha sad existance. sighs
smoke?!?!?
args args. i've been second hand smoking tooo muchie. everywhere i go i think i smell cigarettes now. ewww!!!!
or maybe i'm having a stroke?!?!?
blah.
maybe it's my hair, but i smell smoke!!!! =.= args args.
hm.....i ate breakfast....and i ate lunch. i'm rather hungry now, but i really don't feel like eating or actually making n e thing to make. don't want to make.....blah......i'll starve. i only eat like 2 meals a day.....sighs sighs.
maybe it's because i ahve a horrible diet and lack of slepe that contribute to my feeling now?!?!?
or maybe i'm having a stroke?!?!?
blah.
maybe it's my hair, but i smell smoke!!!! =.= args args.
hm.....i ate breakfast....and i ate lunch. i'm rather hungry now, but i really don't feel like eating or actually making n e thing to make. don't want to make.....blah......i'll starve. i only eat like 2 meals a day.....sighs sighs.
maybe it's because i ahve a horrible diet and lack of slepe that contribute to my feeling now?!?!?
WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!?
why am i sooo infatuated by the past?!?!? why can't i let go of that feeling and that person?!?!? why?!?!? shit....it's been like over 2 years an a half now!!! shit shit shit!!!!! fucking aye......what the hell is fucking wrong with me?!?!? args.....i'm not going to go look for another guy just cause i don't like this feeling i have inside of myself. that's just wrong. and that would be making that person a rebound believe it or not. or at least it is to me n e ways. sighs sighs. or simply, it's just using someone, even no matter how much you love that person, your beginning intent was to use the person so you won't feel alone.
shit, brian's going to fs. man, i'm sooo fucking jealous.....sighs.
i miss everything.
i miss how things used to be.
i miss how everyone used to be.
i miss all the things i can't have.
i just simply miss everything.
why am i like this??!?!? my mascara is going into my eye....and it's stinging........args.....
shit, brian's going to fs. man, i'm sooo fucking jealous.....sighs.
i miss everything.
i miss how things used to be.
i miss how everyone used to be.
i miss all the things i can't have.
i just simply miss everything.
why am i like this??!?!? my mascara is going into my eye....and it's stinging........args.....
freedom
it's rather funny that all these songs that i listen to lately, they all involve going way. why does everyone want freedom and to fly?!?!?
blah.....i know escapism is like the mind set that all humans have, but blah, what kinda message does it send people!?!?!? does it mean that running away from problems is alrights?!?!?
blah. dunno....
well gonna go and wash off my masacara and my eyeliner, and then start hugging some stuffed animals! sighs sighs.
don't even know why i'm feeling this way, maybe it's exhastion, maybe it's nothing....meh.
blah.....i know escapism is like the mind set that all humans have, but blah, what kinda message does it send people!?!?!? does it mean that running away from problems is alrights?!?!?
blah. dunno....
well gonna go and wash off my masacara and my eyeliner, and then start hugging some stuffed animals! sighs sighs.
don't even know why i'm feeling this way, maybe it's exhastion, maybe it's nothing....meh.
clouded judgement
sighs sighs. my heart feels sooo heavy. but why?!?!? what's wrong with me?!?! this whole day was supposed to be fun and happy, but yet along the whole way, i felt gloomy, well not at bbt.
sighs sighs.
yeah....even when in like an asian place in mississauga, i still don't feel like i fit in n e where. i mean, of course i have my random groups of friends all over the place, but meh, what does that all mean?!?! yeah, i have friends. most of them close because i tell most of my friends everything going on in my life.
i'm not even listening to depressing music and all i feel like doing is crying. actually, for once, instead of just saying i feel like it, i am. sighs sighs.
i don't feel like i fit in n e where. sighs sighs.
don't feel like going out cept to stay at home get fat and just stare at my life in front of me. blah....
and i am always complaining that i have nothing to do.....oi....man.
yeah, got insulted by a person that i didn't know and basically he called me a book worm. saying that i stay home and study and call that fun.....i didn't retaliate....felt no need to justify n e thing. but it's true, i rather stay home....willing or unwillingly, i will stay home. sad i know, sighs sighs.
does n e one wanna go do sumthing with me that doesn't involve mula unless you are willing to pay for me?!?!?
wait....i wanna go for pho....sighs sighs.......
sighs sighs.
yeah....even when in like an asian place in mississauga, i still don't feel like i fit in n e where. i mean, of course i have my random groups of friends all over the place, but meh, what does that all mean?!?! yeah, i have friends. most of them close because i tell most of my friends everything going on in my life.
i'm not even listening to depressing music and all i feel like doing is crying. actually, for once, instead of just saying i feel like it, i am. sighs sighs.
i don't feel like i fit in n e where. sighs sighs.
don't feel like going out cept to stay at home get fat and just stare at my life in front of me. blah....
and i am always complaining that i have nothing to do.....oi....man.
yeah, got insulted by a person that i didn't know and basically he called me a book worm. saying that i stay home and study and call that fun.....i didn't retaliate....felt no need to justify n e thing. but it's true, i rather stay home....willing or unwillingly, i will stay home. sad i know, sighs sighs.
does n e one wanna go do sumthing with me that doesn't involve mula unless you are willing to pay for me?!?!?
wait....i wanna go for pho....sighs sighs.......
headache....
well let's recap the day now.
well i couldn't sleep and i ended up waking up at six, but no one in my family noes of course because i wan trying to let them sleep. sighs sighs. was going to buy a skirt from like esprit.....but it was way tooo short and you could see my ass when i bent over, and i think that's gross.......but of course guys think it's hot, i think it's degrading self....but that's my opinion.
well went shoping for a shirt for jo. keke^^:D:P ended up that she spent only like 13 dollars and 47 cents on two shirts. keke^^:D:P great deal ar!!!
egh....as for meh.....i spent most of my money like buying yarn. and i just notice that it's alot cheaper to like just buy a scarf for people than to make it, but oh wellz........it's the thought that counts. but of course, to some people, they don't understand the time it takes because they take alot for granted. sooo need a job!!!!! args args.
shit....only have like 30 dollars left!!!! args args. gotsta like save the rest!!! shitters. gotsta. i can't spend the rest!!!! so yeah. wonder if i can find a meal that's under ten dollars since that's all i have to spend, plus a toonie from like rob last friday.....well not from him....the one i took and exchanged. yeah, it's the one with the two bears.....blah....i know, i'm a looser.
met some guys.....i don't like much random people. i didn't like most of them, except for like kyle. he seemed nice. the rest, all they crave is sex, even though that kyle seemed like that type too, but he actually stuck around to chat with us, whereas the other guys well, all they were doing simply was to leave an impression so they could get down into our pants. i don't much appreciate guys like that. the types that leave that motive right on their sleeves. but at the same time, it's better that i know i should stay away from them. yeah, i have an inferiority complex.....that i know....you gots a problem?!?!?
hm....bumped into jacky's mommy. how fun!!! love jacky's mommy....she's sooooo great!!! keke^^:D:P well tim's coming home tonight!!!!! but it's not like he's going to talkie to me n e ways.....that bastard......j/k j/k. love tim and jacky to death. keke^^:D:P in the summer, they are like another family besides vals of course.
oh so yeah, val's mom has an issue with me now. wow. sighs sighs.
yeah, i'm quite unsocialable when i want to be. yeah, i don't like to talk to like strangers, unless they are friends of other people. i just get afraid.
well yeah, i liked the wiping down the car part. keke^^:D:P that was fun!!! got a fuck you from an adult woman that was a bitch in oakville. keke^^:D:P PENIS MOBILE!!!!
val cheered me up bringing me to br....keke^^:D:P sucha sweetie...keke^^:D:P and then went to walmart to buy yarn. oh wellz. the effort in making one is totally worth it i suppose. well i think it's worth it n e ways. meh.
well i couldn't sleep and i ended up waking up at six, but no one in my family noes of course because i wan trying to let them sleep. sighs sighs. was going to buy a skirt from like esprit.....but it was way tooo short and you could see my ass when i bent over, and i think that's gross.......but of course guys think it's hot, i think it's degrading self....but that's my opinion.
well went shoping for a shirt for jo. keke^^:D:P ended up that she spent only like 13 dollars and 47 cents on two shirts. keke^^:D:P great deal ar!!!
egh....as for meh.....i spent most of my money like buying yarn. and i just notice that it's alot cheaper to like just buy a scarf for people than to make it, but oh wellz........it's the thought that counts. but of course, to some people, they don't understand the time it takes because they take alot for granted. sooo need a job!!!!! args args.
shit....only have like 30 dollars left!!!! args args. gotsta like save the rest!!! shitters. gotsta. i can't spend the rest!!!! so yeah. wonder if i can find a meal that's under ten dollars since that's all i have to spend, plus a toonie from like rob last friday.....well not from him....the one i took and exchanged. yeah, it's the one with the two bears.....blah....i know, i'm a looser.
met some guys.....i don't like much random people. i didn't like most of them, except for like kyle. he seemed nice. the rest, all they crave is sex, even though that kyle seemed like that type too, but he actually stuck around to chat with us, whereas the other guys well, all they were doing simply was to leave an impression so they could get down into our pants. i don't much appreciate guys like that. the types that leave that motive right on their sleeves. but at the same time, it's better that i know i should stay away from them. yeah, i have an inferiority complex.....that i know....you gots a problem?!?!?
hm....bumped into jacky's mommy. how fun!!! love jacky's mommy....she's sooooo great!!! keke^^:D:P well tim's coming home tonight!!!!! but it's not like he's going to talkie to me n e ways.....that bastard......j/k j/k. love tim and jacky to death. keke^^:D:P in the summer, they are like another family besides vals of course.
oh so yeah, val's mom has an issue with me now. wow. sighs sighs.
yeah, i'm quite unsocialable when i want to be. yeah, i don't like to talk to like strangers, unless they are friends of other people. i just get afraid.
well yeah, i liked the wiping down the car part. keke^^:D:P that was fun!!! got a fuck you from an adult woman that was a bitch in oakville. keke^^:D:P PENIS MOBILE!!!!
val cheered me up bringing me to br....keke^^:D:P sucha sweetie...keke^^:D:P and then went to walmart to buy yarn. oh wellz. the effort in making one is totally worth it i suppose. well i think it's worth it n e ways. meh.
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