i don't know....but i'm kinda disappointed.....have no idea why though. meh.
what day is today? is today the 9th? keke^^ meh.....
well hoping to do something on thursday. don't want to be stuck in the house the whole week. most definately going to the gym tom. i'll take a shower tonight so i sweat tom and won't feel like i have totally dry skin taking a shower. keke^^ well i don't know. but i think i'm in love.
no, not the romantic love, but the sensation and joy of how i used to be.
i've began to like someone that i know i shouldn't like. sighs......but i can't help it. and there is no one that has liked me. i mean....i think it's because i allow myself to get involved too deeply about people. when i head into any type of relationship i go head first. i dive, not measuring if the water would be safe and deep enough to dive. but i have no idea. that's just me......have the experience before?
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Monday, August 09, 2004
hm.....i like to dl songs....i notice that i spend most of my time on line just finding songs and d/ling em....meh. i'm a weirdo.
wow....i'm kinda really asian. when i ask about people i always ask if they've eaten yet. wowzers....i'm more asian than i thought.
weird how that works out. but meh. keke^^ i don't even understand why asians use food as a greeting. weird
i write thought after though a day. and i somehow always seem to have something to write. weird though
it's as if my brain never stops working. i know my bodily clock never stop functioning. i'm always waking up at the same time....unless my body purposely ignores the alarm because i'm exhausted. keke^^
wow....i'm kinda really asian. when i ask about people i always ask if they've eaten yet. wowzers....i'm more asian than i thought.
weird how that works out. but meh. keke^^ i don't even understand why asians use food as a greeting. weird
i write thought after though a day. and i somehow always seem to have something to write. weird though
it's as if my brain never stops working. i know my bodily clock never stop functioning. i'm always waking up at the same time....unless my body purposely ignores the alarm because i'm exhausted. keke^^
well let's see. yesterday....i went to churchie....hm. that's about the only highlight in my day. keke^^ well i went back to logo's because my daddy was in the chior thingy. hm.
i just noticed that i never really clicked with many people in that church. many people in that church didn't even recognize me. keke^^ but meh. i'll still always be that sabby that everyone once knew. keke^^
yes bessie....i still look the same to you because i will always be the same sabby girl that tries to take care of you as much as i possibly can.
i'd rather get myself hurt than to ever hurt others. but then there are only a handful of people that can actually do this. it takes alot more energy and time to try not to hurt anyone. hm. i'm a friend to you? than why do you not talk to me n e more? args......boy, you drive me insane just thinking about how our friendship was different back then. but times change. and i assume your heart has changed with it. so i should be accustomed to being human than i suppose.
yeah.....i'm a prefectionist....i demand perfection. that's why i'm disappointed. but what am i truly diappointed at? the person who failed my standard of perfection or am i merely upset because no one can be perfect?
i just noticed that i never really clicked with many people in that church. many people in that church didn't even recognize me. keke^^ but meh. i'll still always be that sabby that everyone once knew. keke^^
yes bessie....i still look the same to you because i will always be the same sabby girl that tries to take care of you as much as i possibly can.
i'd rather get myself hurt than to ever hurt others. but then there are only a handful of people that can actually do this. it takes alot more energy and time to try not to hurt anyone. hm. i'm a friend to you? than why do you not talk to me n e more? args......boy, you drive me insane just thinking about how our friendship was different back then. but times change. and i assume your heart has changed with it. so i should be accustomed to being human than i suppose.
yeah.....i'm a prefectionist....i demand perfection. that's why i'm disappointed. but what am i truly diappointed at? the person who failed my standard of perfection or am i merely upset because no one can be perfect?
yeahyeah....going to darrien lake....botta find a way to bust my money....but i dont' know......my parents may think it's tooo expensive or sumthing. sighs sighs.
i don't wanna ruin n e ones mood, so i'll find my way to break my poor ass into being in debt i suppose. meh.
most times i'm pretty resourceful with my money. keke^^ i normally buy everything on discount. but that's only because things go out of fashion...but whatever....as long as i'm comfortable in my own clothes i'm satisfied. i'm sooo into mini-skirts and everything now. i hate wearing pants now....but meh.,..... meh won't ever becoming a girly girly pooh because i'm just not made out for that. i mean....i have the emotional stability of a six year old....but besides that....i'm perfectly fine. keke^^
i don't wanna ruin n e ones mood, so i'll find my way to break my poor ass into being in debt i suppose. meh.
most times i'm pretty resourceful with my money. keke^^ i normally buy everything on discount. but that's only because things go out of fashion...but whatever....as long as i'm comfortable in my own clothes i'm satisfied. i'm sooo into mini-skirts and everything now. i hate wearing pants now....but meh.,..... meh won't ever becoming a girly girly pooh because i'm just not made out for that. i mean....i have the emotional stability of a six year old....but besides that....i'm perfectly fine. keke^^
holy crap am i tired. but as i said....i cannot sleep past ten. and i do not intend on sleeping past that. so yeah. think i'll go to the gym later when my sister wakes up. or i know that val is going to go so maybe i'll just wait for her. but i don't know if she's going or not. meh....
let's see the plan for today is to.....well don't have any today. sooo sad, but true. keke^^
wanna go to BR. maybe i'll just stop and pick up an order to go. meh. don't know. sleeping in the basement is great. i mean....in the winter it gets you feeling way tooo cold....so don't try that unless you have an electric blanket. but sleeping here in the summer is good.
oh ow, ow. my stomache hurts really really badly. args args. but then again....i only ate one meal yesterday. so yeah. but i'm not purposely not eating. it's because i ate a super big ass lunch. that's why i didn't eat. so yeah. keke^^
meh.....
sucha a sweety......whenever i ask for songs you always give me songs. sucha a sweety. well actually i have a lot of sweeties in my life. sighs sighs.
well i don't know....i'm tired. haven't got anything planned for this week. meh.
can't wait for auntie esther to back. i know that she'll nag at me for looking a certain way or what not, but i think that she's a sweet lil ol lady. i wonder if she got her teeth fixed. sighs sighs.
args....myst stomach is in real pain....going to find something to eat...keke^^
let's see the plan for today is to.....well don't have any today. sooo sad, but true. keke^^
wanna go to BR. maybe i'll just stop and pick up an order to go. meh. don't know. sleeping in the basement is great. i mean....in the winter it gets you feeling way tooo cold....so don't try that unless you have an electric blanket. but sleeping here in the summer is good.
oh ow, ow. my stomache hurts really really badly. args args. but then again....i only ate one meal yesterday. so yeah. but i'm not purposely not eating. it's because i ate a super big ass lunch. that's why i didn't eat. so yeah. keke^^
meh.....
sucha a sweety......whenever i ask for songs you always give me songs. sucha a sweety. well actually i have a lot of sweeties in my life. sighs sighs.
well i don't know....i'm tired. haven't got anything planned for this week. meh.
can't wait for auntie esther to back. i know that she'll nag at me for looking a certain way or what not, but i think that she's a sweet lil ol lady. i wonder if she got her teeth fixed. sighs sighs.
args....myst stomach is in real pain....going to find something to eat...keke^^
honestly.....i've never forgotten a face....even though the person has gotten older....or what not. i can still always remember them. sighs sighs...
feeling old.....
args args....
don't know...reaction time slowing down...really need to get some sleep though. so yeah.....meh going to sleep soon i'm assuming.
hm......gotsta go pray for a miracle to happen. cause i know what's going to happen next when i wake up today......
feeling old.....
args args....
don't know...reaction time slowing down...really need to get some sleep though. so yeah.....meh going to sleep soon i'm assuming.
hm......gotsta go pray for a miracle to happen. cause i know what's going to happen next when i wake up today......
da dee dee dum da dee dum da dee dum....da da dee da da dum da dee dum da dee dum.....
blah....that always comes in my head everytime i think of it....why...args args...
gots to stop this reminincing....args args....it's going to get me depressed...args args...
well hm......really need to stop thinking....
blah....that always comes in my head everytime i think of it....why...args args...
gots to stop this reminincing....args args....it's going to get me depressed...args args...
well hm......really need to stop thinking....
sometimes i would just like to stay in this state of bliss for a long long itme. i don't feel much...but what i do feel i know that i am happy. keke^^ such a great feel. if stuffed animals would be sleepy....i wonder if mine would be now?
keke^^
yeah....i still sleep with teddy bears. and yes....i still have my seeepecial blanky okay? keke^^ i'm still a little girl. i can't sleep without my blanky nor my bear.....well not necessarily, i just say it so that i have something to hug at night. but the true fact is that i don't need a bear, i could just hug a pillow. i don't need a special blanky, i just need a blanket to sniff something. yeah. i've got sensitive senses when i was born. but now....i don't see very well....my hands have been burnt one too many times that hot water doesn't pain my hands n e more.....my sense of taste is being deminished because my sense of smell is going down. my hearing is the only part of me that is intact. and i love it. my ears can listen to loud things, and still hear very very faint soft things. it's great. but it's a gift from GOD.
ouchie....my mouth is bleedin.......args....sneezed and because my gums are all swollen i bit my cheek really really hard and well yeah....now bleeding. it taste like metal. eww.....hate this bloddy taste. i wonder if the person you love has sweeter blood than you do....hm. weird. funny. meh.....just curious. it's like the saying goes...what isn't yours always seems sweeter when you have it. but meh....
need to buy the new jay chou cd!!! but i doubt it's great....because my fave is still fantasy plus.....
so meh no noe. blah...keke^^
keke^^
yeah....i still sleep with teddy bears. and yes....i still have my seeepecial blanky okay? keke^^ i'm still a little girl. i can't sleep without my blanky nor my bear.....well not necessarily, i just say it so that i have something to hug at night. but the true fact is that i don't need a bear, i could just hug a pillow. i don't need a special blanky, i just need a blanket to sniff something. yeah. i've got sensitive senses when i was born. but now....i don't see very well....my hands have been burnt one too many times that hot water doesn't pain my hands n e more.....my sense of taste is being deminished because my sense of smell is going down. my hearing is the only part of me that is intact. and i love it. my ears can listen to loud things, and still hear very very faint soft things. it's great. but it's a gift from GOD.
ouchie....my mouth is bleedin.......args....sneezed and because my gums are all swollen i bit my cheek really really hard and well yeah....now bleeding. it taste like metal. eww.....hate this bloddy taste. i wonder if the person you love has sweeter blood than you do....hm. weird. funny. meh.....just curious. it's like the saying goes...what isn't yours always seems sweeter when you have it. but meh....
need to buy the new jay chou cd!!! but i doubt it's great....because my fave is still fantasy plus.....
so meh no noe. blah...keke^^
hm.....what makes my ex such an evil guy? i don't now....he's always treated me well. he's never treated me less than a friend. maybe that's it. because even when i was going out with him, he never treated me like anything more? but that's not true. for a while....he really did care. i'm confused. sooo confused.
i don't get it. i mean everyone's had their moments of doing sumthing stupid. args args. does that give people the right to say he's a certain way? sighs sighs. no matter how much i say you can't get me to shut up unless you kill me, i know i have no heart to put people in prison. sighs sighs.
don't understand. how can someone with such a good heart become sooo evil and corrupted? sighs sighs. is he still the corrupted person that i hope i never meet?
hm.....need to do sumthing on the 12th....wonder if my parents are doing n e thing for me. hm.
can't continue to do this to myself.....sleep soo late and wake up soo late....gotsta stop doing this to myself.....but meh....honestly can't sleep n e more...
really wanna ask if willy is going to utm or not. jean told me no.....because she heard it from someone else's mouth....but the last time willy told me yes......
it's times like these that my heart is confused. but i know i no longer like him. i just miss having a bf. i have totally figured out these emotions towards him. keke^^ a great achievement for me...
but yet sometimes i'm still confused because he is nice to me. but meh...it was him who asked for my hand in friendship.....not me to him. so in a sense...he kinda hast to be nice to me.
i don't get it. i mean everyone's had their moments of doing sumthing stupid. args args. does that give people the right to say he's a certain way? sighs sighs. no matter how much i say you can't get me to shut up unless you kill me, i know i have no heart to put people in prison. sighs sighs.
don't understand. how can someone with such a good heart become sooo evil and corrupted? sighs sighs. is he still the corrupted person that i hope i never meet?
hm.....need to do sumthing on the 12th....wonder if my parents are doing n e thing for me. hm.
can't continue to do this to myself.....sleep soo late and wake up soo late....gotsta stop doing this to myself.....but meh....honestly can't sleep n e more...
really wanna ask if willy is going to utm or not. jean told me no.....because she heard it from someone else's mouth....but the last time willy told me yes......
it's times like these that my heart is confused. but i know i no longer like him. i just miss having a bf. i have totally figured out these emotions towards him. keke^^ a great achievement for me...
but yet sometimes i'm still confused because he is nice to me. but meh...it was him who asked for my hand in friendship.....not me to him. so in a sense...he kinda hast to be nice to me.
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