sighs sighs i am all puffy eyed. but after all that.....i feel much much better. yeah yeah. but my eyes hurt. sighs sighs. thinking about everything that has happened to me in the recent little while. and i think i'm all betrter now. yeah yeah. well meh sooo tired.
still gots one essay/report thingy i need to do. it'll be all kool. it'll be done after tomorrow. after shopping. well i'm going off to bed now. i'm tired. very tired. so yeah. l8a l8a.
trying to smile..but it's sooo difficult....
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Saturday, December 11, 2004
coming to terms
i have come to the fact that none of your business is mine. if you tell me...then i should be happy that you told me. it's not my fault if i ask what's wrong and you don't tell me. if you don't tell me after i ask, it's your fault that you don't wanna tell. well not fault really, it's your choice. i should accept that. this is the same if people ask me what's wrong and i don't tell them what's wrong. if i don't tell you, it's my fault that i feel like shit in front of you. you have the right to bitch at me for making your day shitty if i'm not happy while around you. but people don't have the right to question you till you feel even worst because you don't want to tell. if you really don't want to know and yet you ask what's wrong, then are you not just asking for a shit load of complaint if the person really wanted to tell you? it's freedom of choice and freedom of speach.
none of my business is anyone else's business. they ask because they care. they are entitled to know....maybe not at that exact moment, but at least later on in life. but then again, in life nothing's worth the pain and the torment. then again, why mention it and not tell what the hell is up? if you hint at it....are you not just plainly asking for others to ask you what?
i don't get it. we used to be the bestest of friends. and these days....all i ever do is get pissed at what you say. sighs. maybe i'm just too sensitive with certain people....or people in general. sighs sighs. i didn't wanna get mad....but you said it like you just didn't wanna tell me and told me only cause you wanted someone to talk to. sighs sighs. maybe i'm wrong for thinking that way. sighs sighs. if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. and obviously, he didn't so i shouldn't have known n e ways. args.....stupid fuckers....args.
should totally cut back on all my cursing. sighs sighs.
you don't read this....and it's pointless to apologize on this. but i do not feel like picking up the phone to say sorry even though i know i did something wrong.
i'm not that great of a person. maybe it's cause i don't want n e one to know this and therefore i hide myself behind everything.
don't know...whatever.....tomorrow will be a better day. so yeah. everything'll be all good. yeah yeah yeah.
none of my business is anyone else's business. they ask because they care. they are entitled to know....maybe not at that exact moment, but at least later on in life. but then again, in life nothing's worth the pain and the torment. then again, why mention it and not tell what the hell is up? if you hint at it....are you not just plainly asking for others to ask you what?
i don't get it. we used to be the bestest of friends. and these days....all i ever do is get pissed at what you say. sighs. maybe i'm just too sensitive with certain people....or people in general. sighs sighs. i didn't wanna get mad....but you said it like you just didn't wanna tell me and told me only cause you wanted someone to talk to. sighs sighs. maybe i'm wrong for thinking that way. sighs sighs. if he wanted me to know, he'd tell me. and obviously, he didn't so i shouldn't have known n e ways. args.....stupid fuckers....args.
should totally cut back on all my cursing. sighs sighs.
you don't read this....and it's pointless to apologize on this. but i do not feel like picking up the phone to say sorry even though i know i did something wrong.
i'm not that great of a person. maybe it's cause i don't want n e one to know this and therefore i hide myself behind everything.
don't know...whatever.....tomorrow will be a better day. so yeah. everything'll be all good. yeah yeah yeah.
true colors
oh yes, i'm a loser. i listen to super geezer like songs. but tooo bad....i like the music. muhaha.
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
You with the sad eyes
Don't be discouraged
Oh I realize
It's hard to take courage
In a world full of people
You can lose sight of it all
And the darkness inside you
Can make you feel so small
But I see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
Show me a smile then,
Don't be unhappy, can't remember
When I last saw you laughing
If this world makes you crazy
And you've taken all you can bear
You call me up
Because you know I'll be there
And I'll see your true colors
Shining through
I see your true colors
And that's why I love you
So don't be afraid to let them show
Your true colors
True colors are beautiful,
Like a rainbow
sadness and despair
okie. i have hit the bottom of my stupid joy ride. but now, i am alot more calm and happy than a few hours ago. i shouldn't say happy....just more satisfied. well hearing one thing totally bursted my bubble. how fun aye? but then again, thinking about all this, i'm not surprised. i have met some very inconsiderate stupid assholes in my life. sighs sighs. but then again, i am probably one of those inconsiderate people to a few people. args.
i don't know what's wrong...but things like this....i feel sooo upset. i mean....i can take rejection, but when i hear others are hurt, it totally bites ass and i suddenly fall to the bottom of the pit. my life is one big bubble that involves just me. oh how selfish i am. sighs sighs. i am tired. i am exhausted. i am sad. but every part of me is hyper, happy and energetic. sighs.
this coming week will be the last week of school before the last day of school. i have one report due on monday. i have an essay due some time near the end of the week. and i have an essay that has a deadline on the 15th. i'm finished the one due on the 15th. i am done the one that's due somewhere at the end of the week. i just need to do the one that's due monday.
school is such a happy thought for me. weird aye? i don't know why, but even though i am by myself or with raychee most of the time, i feel completely satisfied. i hope miss carroll is getting better. her allergy seems sooo severe. sighs. man...i have seen jordan or valerie for sucha long time. sighs sighs. well i haveta start wrapping my christmas gifts since i ain't going to see most of em for a while. yeah. i'll probably be caged at home because my parents don't want me driving even though i will. sighs sighs. gotsta drive over to jacky's some time. how fun.
well christmas is coming and at this present moment, i feel like shit and i don't deserve this christmas season. i have been this one big ungreatful lil bitch. yes....i called myself a bitch. sighs sighs. well everything's gonna be o-k. everything is always eventually a-o-k. life goes on....no use to be upset over spilt milk.
all i can do is curse those people that cause shit for others....but when i do that...i'm cursing GOD in a way....for he created those people. sighs sighs. must be gracious for the easy times and the hard.
i don't know what's wrong...but things like this....i feel sooo upset. i mean....i can take rejection, but when i hear others are hurt, it totally bites ass and i suddenly fall to the bottom of the pit. my life is one big bubble that involves just me. oh how selfish i am. sighs sighs. i am tired. i am exhausted. i am sad. but every part of me is hyper, happy and energetic. sighs.
this coming week will be the last week of school before the last day of school. i have one report due on monday. i have an essay due some time near the end of the week. and i have an essay that has a deadline on the 15th. i'm finished the one due on the 15th. i am done the one that's due somewhere at the end of the week. i just need to do the one that's due monday.
school is such a happy thought for me. weird aye? i don't know why, but even though i am by myself or with raychee most of the time, i feel completely satisfied. i hope miss carroll is getting better. her allergy seems sooo severe. sighs. man...i have seen jordan or valerie for sucha long time. sighs sighs. well i haveta start wrapping my christmas gifts since i ain't going to see most of em for a while. yeah. i'll probably be caged at home because my parents don't want me driving even though i will. sighs sighs. gotsta drive over to jacky's some time. how fun.
well christmas is coming and at this present moment, i feel like shit and i don't deserve this christmas season. i have been this one big ungreatful lil bitch. yes....i called myself a bitch. sighs sighs. well everything's gonna be o-k. everything is always eventually a-o-k. life goes on....no use to be upset over spilt milk.
all i can do is curse those people that cause shit for others....but when i do that...i'm cursing GOD in a way....for he created those people. sighs sighs. must be gracious for the easy times and the hard.
it's alrights
it's alrights. everything is gonna be okay. it just hasta be okay.
i live in a bubble. not only do i live in oakville. no one tells me n e thing because i'm not worth telling it to. it's a-o-k. used to it by now. now problems.
i'll live in my bubble and find peace i suppose. booo>.< oh wellz. no biggie problems. everything'll be just fine. i'll keep telling myself that cause well. if it's not gonna be fine...i'll burst out and break down and crack into a million peices. everything'll just be fine. everything hasta be. in times like this. all i need is just some music.
i live in a bubble. not only do i live in oakville. no one tells me n e thing because i'm not worth telling it to. it's a-o-k. used to it by now. now problems.
i'll live in my bubble and find peace i suppose. booo>.< oh wellz. no biggie problems. everything'll be just fine. i'll keep telling myself that cause well. if it's not gonna be fine...i'll burst out and break down and crack into a million peices. everything'll just be fine. everything hasta be. in times like this. all i need is just some music.
suicide rate
well joy and i were talking last night about which was worst.....going through adolescence or a mid life crisis. and then when we thought about it....looking at the suicide rate...more males commit suicide than females. weird. always thought it would be the other way around. but then thinking about it more in depth...males are more task oriented and most females that want to commit suicide don't because their fear overcomes them. so yeah. well looking at stats can...the stupid statics ages are sooo broad from 24 beyond it goes....25to 44. hell...of course there would be more numbes in that....because there are more years to count. sooo stupid. but just in four years.....15-19...there are 261 in general. university students still have it worst though....from ages 20-24...there are 293 suicides. from 25-44 years there are 1,549 suicides. survey sooo messed up...considering that there are sooo many more years. and 45-64 years there are 1,075....stupid messed up years.
but all in all......look at the fouryear spans...they are all like what? one fifth of the amounts of the 19 some odd years.... so yeah....just look at that...that means that percentage is like huge!!!!
sighs sighs.....and then....my conclusion....i need to look at more stats than just from stats can because stupid stats can i find to be inconclusive.
but all in all......look at the fouryear spans...they are all like what? one fifth of the amounts of the 19 some odd years.... so yeah....just look at that...that means that percentage is like huge!!!!
sighs sighs.....and then....my conclusion....i need to look at more stats than just from stats can because stupid stats can i find to be inconclusive.
happy
shit.....i am in denial......args args...
gotsta meet more people. gotsta go to more parties. gotsta be less anti-social. args args. liking him soooo muchie.....but i will start n e thing. i just can't. gotsta focus on schoool. must remain happy. i can't afford to feel like crap if it doesn't work out. so yeah. i must get into university. and then after that....i'll see what happens. keke^^:D:P *wink wink*
well....even obviously i'd just rather remain friends. it's much tooo sad. booo....stupid hormones=.= well....at least i'm satisfied and happy now. there's much to be happy about to frown and cry about n e thing. i mean....of course my life isn't stain and error stricken.....but it doesn't mean that i don't go through problems. but meh. most problems in my life are problems that i inflict on myself.
gotsta meet more people. gotsta go to more parties. gotsta be less anti-social. args args. liking him soooo muchie.....but i will start n e thing. i just can't. gotsta focus on schoool. must remain happy. i can't afford to feel like crap if it doesn't work out. so yeah. i must get into university. and then after that....i'll see what happens. keke^^:D:P *wink wink*
well....even obviously i'd just rather remain friends. it's much tooo sad. booo....stupid hormones=.= well....at least i'm satisfied and happy now. there's much to be happy about to frown and cry about n e thing. i mean....of course my life isn't stain and error stricken.....but it doesn't mean that i don't go through problems. but meh. most problems in my life are problems that i inflict on myself.
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