birth

hm.....was watching some stuff with monks in it...no no....i was just listening to the theories behind human nature...not meditating on the words la....

and then this guy says....you know, i wasn't born as a monk. in fact, i wasn't born as much of any thing. only as we grow up, we make our own roles for ourselves. at the time of birth, we are blank, not completely blank because human nature is embedded in us, but as pure as we will ever be. through interaction with society or isolation from it, we assume the person we have become. through life, we only try to be as pure as we were at birth, but few ever achieve this status because they can't give up the world.

now, thinking about all that, that theory really goes for christianity.

but you can apply it the way you want...because my opinion probably won't be the same as yours.....

there's no such thing as christianity when you don't give up everything to follow GOD. wow....that was exactly the sermon today....wow.....and i put it in my own context....wow....

homeless

hm.....well....going to toronto makes me think about all the people that live on the streets. i mean....when i think about it. i kinda wanna give them all a sandwich. i mean...that sounds stupid right? well.....i don't know....if i gave them money, how do i know that they are going to buy food and not just use it for drugs? i mean, that is kind of harsh too and i'm lumpsumming all the homeless as drug users, alcoholics and what not. but....seriously....the best i can do for them is a sandwich. i mean, that's what those soup kitchens are for. but still....wouldn't it be nice when you are having a bad time that some one gives you something that you need? i think that would be nice.

that's probably why i don't like going to toronto...i see these people and want to give them money. but you see...if i were to give every one a dollar every time i saw them on the streets begging or whatever.....i'd be sooo broke....one dollar doesn't go a long way n e more...sighs sighs....

funny thinking

muhahaha...been thinking for a while...it's rather funny i suppose...muhahaha....but it's funny none the less.

all my guy friends have those same characteristics that i find sooo funnay.

well...maybe if all my friends were lump summed, they'd practically all be the same and all the diff.....but meh....

all my friends are brutally honest and truthful. they try to sugar coat the truth about me, but yet it always leaves a sour/bitter taste in the mouth. but i wouldn't want them n e other way.

all my friends will always bring a smile to my face. this is probably because they'd rather see a happy me than all my tears, sadness, pain, and depression. everyone is the same whether a friend or not. would you ask me what was wrong if you didn't know me and you saw me crying? i hope you will do that to some stranger the next time you see a tear stricken face. please, think of all the pain you've gone through...did you not want to share? whether or not you know them, just go up to them and ask them what's wrong....it may brighten up their day....be a friend to a stranger.

not all, but majority of my friends are anime obsessed....yeah....weird...how i end up finding all the anime obsessed people. oh wellz.... it's something to fill their time i suppose...

muhahaha. i don't know...can't categorize all my friends into categories....but then again... where do i fit in with all of them....i kinda don't fit in n e where.

i am just there being me. the way i am loved the best....being me. but how have i lived my life? as a child...i hated myself...i hated everything about me....but with maturity....i find...why shall i be like everyone else? why should i ask for others to love me? if they don't love me, they have thier own reasons. maybe it's their own fault, or maybe we were never compatible to be friends at all.

love and respect are things that can never be demanded. if they were, it is only out of bitterness and spite that we follow and obey. humans, by nature, are mutinous to leaders, order, rules and rulers. by nature, we want to be our own rulers. by nature, we don't want to follow orders. by nature, we are not disciplined. by nature, we are chaotic. but i don't think everyone shares my views. but....those are my views. my view of the human race is very dark...very black. but why do i try to be sympathetic to a race of people that think i'm less than the dust in the air? why do i care so much for others when i am less than nothing in the eyes of others?

suppose questions like that about myself can't be answered by n e one except myself.... wha...wo hun chi guai de....=.=

toronto

so...well let's see...we're going to toronto on wednesday!!! can you believe it?!?! but...well...if val was home, i'd be going down town with val..because we did last year or the year before...sighs...

but i know val is having a great time in europe!!! and if she isn't i really hope that she is.

for the summer, i don't really know whether or not i should go to england or not. my mom thinks i should go see the world. but i don't know...will it be convenient?!?! i mean...i'd be staying with family that i have not known since i was 2 and half....so how familier will i be with them? but i suppose there is this unspoken bond just because we are family i suppose. should i go? but i'm going to hk next year to get my hk id la. hm.... what do you people think?

well now, back to toronto....my mommy is giving me her card to go shopping with.

so we are gonna go to heartland on tuesday...i would ask jacky like i did last year...but my mommy got pissed off last year because it was supposed to be a mother daughter thingy and i invited a friend....so yeah....XPXP

n e whoo...there's not that i would be buying in heartland really. i'd just be having a bonding session with my mommy. well the clothes that i bought, my mommy thought i would wait to wear them...but then again...my mommy knows i'm not that type of person...and she knows that i have tons of clothes to bring to uni as is.... but yeah....

what i need....are like underclothing....args=.= personal hygiene things..not that you people needed to know...just a sabina thing to state. meh= open...to what extent..only for you to figure out yourself.

but yeah...

going to toronto...i shouldn't be spending that much money. i will have my mother's card...and that's probably gonna be most expenses paid n e ways....but then i have have 2 months and a half of allowance...so yeah....that's good...yeah....180ish in cash...100 in card....therefore...280ish....but i'm not going to use all that....mainly gonna use the card for purchases...if n e that is....and then my own money for food....my own money for busing, my own money for other things like that. sighs....

sometimes, i'm just tooo friendly.

死性不改

egh...i think i've posted this song before...but since i can't search it on my blog, i've just decided to post it again...XPXP

再見了我的寵愛　誰願接受這種意外
你讚我天生可愛　不願看著我離開
同伴也話我傻　喜歡受挫
寧願情敵在傷我

＊人天生根本都不可以愛死身邊的一個
　怎奈你最夠刺激我　凡事也治到倒我
　幾多黑心的教唆　我亦捱得過
　來煽風來點火　就擊倒我麼

　誰戀愛就多障礙　死性我不想改
　如我沒有你的愛　我沒法活得來
　情人的存在　是我從來都志在
　難在我拱手讓愛＊

(獨白)
點解要咁姐　點解唔可以咁呀
你唔覺得好辛苦咩
辛苦　但係我鐘意呀　算吧啦

我怕可一不可再　難道你被愛都有害
我確信天真不會錯　威力會移山填海
同伴也話我傻　喜歡受挫
寧願情敵再傷我

REPEAT＊＊

yeah....the song's a tad bit seeetupid i suppose....but i don't know...there's just some parts of the song that i can't get outta my head....args...meh= sooo pathetic...=.=