okie. this sux. it's soo funny though. well my daddy says that i never have like a curfew. just that i shoudl call them often. okie....i do that, and i come home at like 12, and he yells at me. says i'm tooo late. and then he says my curfew is at 11. soo i call him saying that i will be a bit late because i ate late and there's still something i hadda do. and i come home at like 11:15. and my daddy also yells at me. keke^^:D:P and then he says he's never given me a curfew, just that he want's me home early. and he says that n e time after 10 is too late. then i come home at like 10 past ten he gets mad. and i told him that i was out talking to my friend outside my own door. and he yells at me. so i suppose i don't have a curfew.....but every hour is a curfew?!!?? my daddy's sooo funny. keke^^:D:P
oh yeah.....my parents wanna meet this cat. they thought i was just making you up too! until they heard you talking to em. keke^^:D:P
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Tuesday, August 31, 2004
Great Day Even Though Lack Of Sleep
keke^^:D:P let's see this whole day. keke^^:D:P
well it's great that i'm starting school feeling happy!!! yaya!!! and i was sooo afraid that i would be upset! keke^^:D:P
well let's see. as i said, i was about sleeping at like 1 or like 2. and then i woke up at 3 because i couldn't sleep at all. and then i made breakfast for my daddy. keke^^:D:P my daddy wants another b-day. keke^^:D:P and i think i might wake up to make breakfast....if i can.....
keke^^:D:P then about like 5ish 6ish....i went to like on the pc. keke^^:d:P talked to cat at like nineish or so. keke^^:D:P and then hadda leave to get ready for stupid registration photo. keke^^:D:P well i won't get a retake....even though my hair was messed up. meh....it just shows you how i am. keke^^:D:P
yupz yupz. gave bri his gift. keke^^:D:P i almost left it at home! keke^^:D:P but i managed to get it and getting a yelling at, but oh wellz, it was worth it. because i just love giving gifts to friends for some reason. that is if i can find one that i want to give them! kekek^^:D:P well yeah. cat was late to br. and she hadn't eaten lunchie! i felt sooo bad. she also sprained her ankle when getting out of the door. i felt sooo bad knowing that she was in soooo much pain walking every step that we did. then we went to heartland. keke^^:D:P i'm getting to know my bus routes better now!!! keke^^:D:P oh yeah....cat gave me a bear! keke^^:D:P it's sooo cute. it has this little round head, and little small feet and a big (in proportion to it) round body. keke^^:D:P i named it tiga. like tee-ga. keke^^:D:P not tie-ga. keke^^:D:P
well we went shopping for her bed.....keke^^:D:P we ended up buying one of those fold up couch bed like stuff. let's see.....i don't know how much that couchie cost. egh....but i know that comforter is like 17.88. keke^^:D:P queen sized. keke^^:D:P she bought a shirt. a halter it was like 9.99 but there is always tax.....it looked absolutely made for her! and she said it made her look fat?!?!? @.@ i thought it made her look even more gorgeous than she already was! keke^^:D:P it looked like it was made for her.....it was calling her name! keke^^:D:P she also bought a sweater for it...was 20 plus tax. keke^^:D:P hope she sleeps better tonight. i hope her ankle gets better. i don't think she should be sooo worried about her height. it makes her look soooo cute! i don't know. i just think petit people look adorable. at least girls n e ways....short guys is a turn off. but meh. felt bad cause we hadda like take a taxi cause we couldn't take a bus.....4.50.....paid 5......felt bad that she paid for it. and she kept on saying sorry as if it were boring or bad to go shopping all day or sumthing. i had sooo much fun! she cooks well!! and ken says her food sux.....blah to him too. he can't cook n e thing cept white rice and like instant noodles. so blah to him. at least cat'll survive....and he won't....keke^^:D:P
don't get me wrong. there are many things wrong with ken. mostly cause he;s sooo immature. but he's still my friend. i still enjoy his company even though he uses me to help with his homework just because he knows he can. keke^^:D:P i just hope he thinks i am his friend though.
maybe it's because i didn't expect her to be n e way, but she's similar to one of those people like i've known my whole life or sumthing. keke^^:D:P it's sooo great!!!! keke^^:D:P
i hope val like gets better soon!!!! hate to find something seriously wrong or sumthing. sighs sighs.....
well it's great that i'm starting school feeling happy!!! yaya!!! and i was sooo afraid that i would be upset! keke^^:D:P
well let's see. as i said, i was about sleeping at like 1 or like 2. and then i woke up at 3 because i couldn't sleep at all. and then i made breakfast for my daddy. keke^^:D:P my daddy wants another b-day. keke^^:D:P and i think i might wake up to make breakfast....if i can.....
keke^^:D:P then about like 5ish 6ish....i went to like on the pc. keke^^:d:P talked to cat at like nineish or so. keke^^:D:P and then hadda leave to get ready for stupid registration photo. keke^^:D:P well i won't get a retake....even though my hair was messed up. meh....it just shows you how i am. keke^^:D:P
yupz yupz. gave bri his gift. keke^^:D:P i almost left it at home! keke^^:D:P but i managed to get it and getting a yelling at, but oh wellz, it was worth it. because i just love giving gifts to friends for some reason. that is if i can find one that i want to give them! kekek^^:D:P well yeah. cat was late to br. and she hadn't eaten lunchie! i felt sooo bad. she also sprained her ankle when getting out of the door. i felt sooo bad knowing that she was in soooo much pain walking every step that we did. then we went to heartland. keke^^:D:P i'm getting to know my bus routes better now!!! keke^^:D:P oh yeah....cat gave me a bear! keke^^:D:P it's sooo cute. it has this little round head, and little small feet and a big (in proportion to it) round body. keke^^:D:P i named it tiga. like tee-ga. keke^^:D:P not tie-ga. keke^^:D:P
well we went shopping for her bed.....keke^^:D:P we ended up buying one of those fold up couch bed like stuff. let's see.....i don't know how much that couchie cost. egh....but i know that comforter is like 17.88. keke^^:D:P queen sized. keke^^:D:P she bought a shirt. a halter it was like 9.99 but there is always tax.....it looked absolutely made for her! and she said it made her look fat?!?!? @.@ i thought it made her look even more gorgeous than she already was! keke^^:D:P it looked like it was made for her.....it was calling her name! keke^^:D:P she also bought a sweater for it...was 20 plus tax. keke^^:D:P hope she sleeps better tonight. i hope her ankle gets better. i don't think she should be sooo worried about her height. it makes her look soooo cute! i don't know. i just think petit people look adorable. at least girls n e ways....short guys is a turn off. but meh. felt bad cause we hadda like take a taxi cause we couldn't take a bus.....4.50.....paid 5......felt bad that she paid for it. and she kept on saying sorry as if it were boring or bad to go shopping all day or sumthing. i had sooo much fun! she cooks well!! and ken says her food sux.....blah to him too. he can't cook n e thing cept white rice and like instant noodles. so blah to him. at least cat'll survive....and he won't....keke^^:D:P
don't get me wrong. there are many things wrong with ken. mostly cause he;s sooo immature. but he's still my friend. i still enjoy his company even though he uses me to help with his homework just because he knows he can. keke^^:D:P i just hope he thinks i am his friend though.
maybe it's because i didn't expect her to be n e way, but she's similar to one of those people like i've known my whole life or sumthing. keke^^:D:P it's sooo great!!!! keke^^:D:P
i hope val like gets better soon!!!! hate to find something seriously wrong or sumthing. sighs sighs.....
val oh val oh val.....
yo gurl. are you feeling n e better? have you been hydrating yourself well? have you been eating your vitamins and such? girl.......you've had a fever for 4 day straight.....if it continues on like this, you are going to have permanant brain damage!
on to other thoughts. val isn't coming with me today. sighs sighs. i miss hanging out with her. blah....she has a new bf. oh how happy i am for her. blah. i'm still singo doe. keke^^:d:P
yups yups. see, val does have guys macking her from left to right. but that's only cause she's really nice and talkative an everything. it's the image she gives people. not a slutbag of course, but one of confidence and assurance. i don't know....that's what i see when i look at her......maybe guys see differently. meh.
it's funny, walking down the mall with val, it's sooo funny. i mean, we get a lot of dirty looks......halfly well they may be looking at me, or just plain looking at val, we never quite noe. but it's funny cause when someone gives one of us a dirty look, i'm normally around looking at the person, so it looks and feels like that dirty look is intended for me. meh.
haveta fix my hair so that it looks decent for the photo today....keke^^:D:P so yeah......well me gotsta go get prepaired. only have like 2 hours and 10 mins before i leave!
on to other thoughts. val isn't coming with me today. sighs sighs. i miss hanging out with her. blah....she has a new bf. oh how happy i am for her. blah. i'm still singo doe. keke^^:d:P
yups yups. see, val does have guys macking her from left to right. but that's only cause she's really nice and talkative an everything. it's the image she gives people. not a slutbag of course, but one of confidence and assurance. i don't know....that's what i see when i look at her......maybe guys see differently. meh.
it's funny, walking down the mall with val, it's sooo funny. i mean, we get a lot of dirty looks......halfly well they may be looking at me, or just plain looking at val, we never quite noe. but it's funny cause when someone gives one of us a dirty look, i'm normally around looking at the person, so it looks and feels like that dirty look is intended for me. meh.
haveta fix my hair so that it looks decent for the photo today....keke^^:D:P so yeah......well me gotsta go get prepaired. only have like 2 hours and 10 mins before i leave!
oh....ew......
ew ew ew......totally disgusting!!!! i remember why i just like totally woke up now and coultn'f all back to sleep. i had like a vision which i wasn't in. but i was supposedly in a car with someone else, i don't know who's car it was....but it was a familiar car. it was sooo gross......
i mean.....i think kissing is fine and whatever....blah.....but i don't wanna see other people at it.
well it just so happens that val runs out of the car and then sees this guy. she's like.....hey there, nice to see you sweetie....and then gives a big big hug and lands one big wet one on him. and that was my whole dream......i looked away......they were at it for a while.....and then i woke up. what a dream aye?!?!?
why the hell did i see that?!?!? what have i been thinking about? what have i been eating?!?!? huh?!?!? sooo utterly confused!
okay....my mommy's weird. she yells at me for sleeping too muchie, and then she like complains that i didn't sleep enough today because i have a total migrane. args args. haven't eaten n e thing yet for like the longest time. but really, i like have no appetite. i really don't feel like eating these days. weight issues. my stomache hurts....and i know i should actually eat something even though i dont' feel like it.....because it's unhealthy not to eat for prolonged periods of time.
oh yeah.....i found out that william chong is a member of my gym! keke^^:D:P well more like i'm a member of his gym cause he joined first. keke^^:D:P and i figured out that i pay like 6 dollars less than he does....keke^^:D:P why the heck did i get 6 dollars cheaper than his? meh.
i mean.....i think kissing is fine and whatever....blah.....but i don't wanna see other people at it.
well it just so happens that val runs out of the car and then sees this guy. she's like.....hey there, nice to see you sweetie....and then gives a big big hug and lands one big wet one on him. and that was my whole dream......i looked away......they were at it for a while.....and then i woke up. what a dream aye?!?!?
why the hell did i see that?!?!? what have i been thinking about? what have i been eating?!?!? huh?!?!? sooo utterly confused!
okay....my mommy's weird. she yells at me for sleeping too muchie, and then she like complains that i didn't sleep enough today because i have a total migrane. args args. haven't eaten n e thing yet for like the longest time. but really, i like have no appetite. i really don't feel like eating these days. weight issues. my stomache hurts....and i know i should actually eat something even though i dont' feel like it.....because it's unhealthy not to eat for prolonged periods of time.
oh yeah.....i found out that william chong is a member of my gym! keke^^:D:P well more like i'm a member of his gym cause he joined first. keke^^:D:P and i figured out that i pay like 6 dollars less than he does....keke^^:D:P why the heck did i get 6 dollars cheaper than his? meh.
wowzas....
hm....reading my like very very first post......and holy crap......i was sooo depressed when i started this thing!
hm....i started this blog because at the time i was starting to fel as if my weird were falling apart......i suppose in many ways....it was and it has. mah....life goes on with or without me trying to move. but chasing the world is meaningless. one man can gain the world, but what is the use if he looses his soul aye? "yut gor yun ho yee zhan doe chune sai gai, dan hi, yu gor sut hui zor zee gai dic ling wun yau zhan ley zong mut ar?" blah......i would type it out in chinese slang....but i can't even read it....let alone try typing what i wrote......plus.....my conto ping yin always sux cause i talk funny cantonese. and mainly cause i actually type as how you would read it in english. blah. my bad for typing it. but meh....
keke^^:DP finally!!!! i'm tired now!!!! but i can't sleep because if i do.....i'll be getting myself in a stupid bad habbit! args args....but really.....tooo tired.........sleep now....keke^^:D:P
hm....i started this blog because at the time i was starting to fel as if my weird were falling apart......i suppose in many ways....it was and it has. mah....life goes on with or without me trying to move. but chasing the world is meaningless. one man can gain the world, but what is the use if he looses his soul aye? "yut gor yun ho yee zhan doe chune sai gai, dan hi, yu gor sut hui zor zee gai dic ling wun yau zhan ley zong mut ar?" blah......i would type it out in chinese slang....but i can't even read it....let alone try typing what i wrote......plus.....my conto ping yin always sux cause i talk funny cantonese. and mainly cause i actually type as how you would read it in english. blah. my bad for typing it. but meh....
keke^^:DP finally!!!! i'm tired now!!!! but i can't sleep because if i do.....i'll be getting myself in a stupid bad habbit! args args....but really.....tooo tired.........sleep now....keke^^:D:P
school.......
well.....in one week's time......school will be starting. can you believe that?!?!? oh my goodness, i made it past highschool and it's my final year!!! oh my goodness!!!! holy crap. sighs sighs. i actually don't think i will be going to my own prom. it's sad i know....sighs sighs. i just can't afford it. yeah.....i know i blow my cash over many stupid things....but still......i can't help it. if i really want something and i think it's worth it, i'll buy it if i have the cash. that's why i normally don't go shopping formyself. you see, i never really think n e thing is worth it for myself. i just don't think i'm worthy. but this year is like completely different for me for some reason. i mean....this summer n e ways i've spent like over 150 of my own cash. or at least cash that i've saved over the whole school year. and well......most of that money was indulging on things for myself. args args. i feel sooo bad now coming to think of the stuff i bought because i thought it was cute and rather "worth it" args. and i don't htink i even went out and bought all that muchie.
hm....let's see.....
well i will start at summer school. hm....didn't go out muchie.....and when i did.....i never ended up buying food formyself. i just don't like buying food. i don't think food is worth it when i have food at home. that's why i don't normally go out to restaurants with friends. but i do on occasion whenever i can, go to bubble republic because that's all the food i indulge myself on. keke^^:D:P man.....args......i'm gaining calories by drinking bubble tea......oi....@.@
hm...... i went out to buy binders. and binders went on sale, but i didn't spend my own money, it was someone else's. hm. and that was 20 dollars right there because i bought 2. and that was what i spent my money on the most for summer school i think. egh.....then i went shopping with val and i bought a skirt......what else did i buy that day? going to look in archives.....looking....
oh okie....dokie.....
hm....let's see.....
well i will start at summer school. hm....didn't go out muchie.....and when i did.....i never ended up buying food formyself. i just don't like buying food. i don't think food is worth it when i have food at home. that's why i don't normally go out to restaurants with friends. but i do on occasion whenever i can, go to bubble republic because that's all the food i indulge myself on. keke^^:D:P man.....args......i'm gaining calories by drinking bubble tea......oi....@.@
hm...... i went out to buy binders. and binders went on sale, but i didn't spend my own money, it was someone else's. hm. and that was 20 dollars right there because i bought 2. and that was what i spent my money on the most for summer school i think. egh.....then i went shopping with val and i bought a skirt......what else did i buy that day? going to look in archives.....looking....
oh okie....dokie.....
- 2 binders.....20$
- skirt........20$
- swimming suit.......21ish$
- bbt's dis summa, so far..........33 some odd $
- wonderland ticket.........38ish or so $
- funnel cake........3.07ish$
- ddr so far........5$
- Mr. Wei Wei Foxy........40$
- pants........23$
- bri's gift......won't say......just say the original pricing was like 60 percent higher.....
- a 1000 peice simpsons puzzle.........12
so basically the total is like 228.07$ or higher or lower only by a few cents. sighs sighs......i spend alot every summer. args args. the most expensive thing sooo far is egh......my Mr. Wei Wei Foxy. but i know.....my bbt will amount higher than forty soon......sighs sighs......it actually is higher than 33 dollars.....it's more like 35 if anything.....so meh.... oh wellz now.....at least it's take out every time....keke^^:D:P
oh crap.....i still haveta buy like sumthing for ray for her b-day tom!!! crap!!!! what shall i buy her? what shall i buy her?
i have no idea aye? hm......everything that i wanted to buy her.....i can't afford n e more.....blah.....boo whooooo......
Holy Crappers
this sux ass. so today, on count.....i have only gotten like one hour of sleep! seriously!!!! maybe two.....but still.....args. i will never go to bed happy and satisfied again! args args. last night, i didn't feel like going to bed till about 12ish......but i never got to sleep till about 1ish 2ish. and then at like 3......it felt like someone prodded me awake or sumthing. basically what i call "zat sang" args args.
for once, i felt like sooo happy last night. the first time in a long while....going to bed happy.......supposedly caused me to have tooo muchie pent up energy i assume. so yeah......i woke up feeling completely energized. i tried to fall back asleep after i woke up at 3.......tried till about 4:30, but i was unsuccessful. so i just got up and started like, thinking of what i would wear.
maybe it's because i have alot to look forward to today. hm. i haven't chilled with bri for a while....keke^^:D:P and that'll just make my day. and then i get to meet cat! keke^^:D:P makes me happy:D kekek^^:d:P plus....get to go back to school for registration. sooo many people i don't want to see will be there, and alot of people i will wanna ask how's your summer to will be there too! keke^^:D:P.
i think it's just because i am nervous and excited for what's going to happen today that i couldn't sleep. args args. never again will i fall asleep thinking about tomorrow's events. args args.
or maybe seriously......i just am tooo happy and i can't fall back to sleep?!?!? args args. oh wellz.....i feel like jumping around and everything. args args. don't know why doe.....args args. blah.....
at least i'm happy. yaya!!!:D:P
for once, i felt like sooo happy last night. the first time in a long while....going to bed happy.......supposedly caused me to have tooo muchie pent up energy i assume. so yeah......i woke up feeling completely energized. i tried to fall back asleep after i woke up at 3.......tried till about 4:30, but i was unsuccessful. so i just got up and started like, thinking of what i would wear.
maybe it's because i have alot to look forward to today. hm. i haven't chilled with bri for a while....keke^^:D:P and that'll just make my day. and then i get to meet cat! keke^^:D:P makes me happy:D kekek^^:d:P plus....get to go back to school for registration. sooo many people i don't want to see will be there, and alot of people i will wanna ask how's your summer to will be there too! keke^^:D:P.
i think it's just because i am nervous and excited for what's going to happen today that i couldn't sleep. args args. never again will i fall asleep thinking about tomorrow's events. args args.
or maybe seriously......i just am tooo happy and i can't fall back to sleep?!?!? args args. oh wellz.....i feel like jumping around and everything. args args. don't know why doe.....args args. blah.....
at least i'm happy. yaya!!!:D:P
strength
well all my life, i've been living alone. i never really knew what companionship meant. all my life i just felt empty. i always felt that i had something missing in my life because no one would listen to me. i've never been close with my family, i've never been close to many people. but i was raised up in a church attending family. i see now that if i had not attended church as a child, i would have never been able to have come to christ. ever. it would just not be possible because i am the way i am now.
but as i have been baptised in my faith.....i am reassured that i can never run to far without ever coming back. i took that leap of faith. i know i must follow through because that's just the reason why i did it. if i didn't, i would never do it. or maybe that's just how i look at it.
well i know i sound like a total christian nut. but talking to ray made me realize alot about myself. i have alot of chances to help people. i have alot of chances to allow people to hear about GOD. but i never use my chances, because i am afraid of what they may say about me. i suppose it's this that really keeps me away. i am afraid of him, but i know in my heart that i shouldn't be ashamed. or maybe it's the fact that i've always been some how ashamed of my own family, maybe because i know that i love them....and i'm ashamed of loving. because i'm afraid to hurt. maybe that's why. but i can't deny the fact that i don't take the chance to see if someone would run away from my bluntness of a christian.....i should not be afraid....why am i??? why??? it's easier to have a gun pointed at my face and say i am a christian to a complete stranger than to say it to someone who is willing to listen to me because i am a friend....why is it sooo different?
well n e whoo, my strength comes from GOD. he is the only one that always gives me the strength to go on and move on and look past what happens. i am a very small minded girl and i am very meticulous in alot of stupid things. i am very "small aired" so to speak. but GOD is slowly gradually teaching me to accept and be more open minded.
i have finally understood that for me to be the way i am now, i must have faced what i did as a kid. in order to try to love everyone, i must have been hated to understand how it feels. i mean, GOD works many many curious ways.....and you only see them when you look back.
shopping again tom with cat!!! yeah yeah!!! keke^^:D:P i'm afraid to take the bus......but meh......bus ain't that bad....taken it many many times before.
but as i have been baptised in my faith.....i am reassured that i can never run to far without ever coming back. i took that leap of faith. i know i must follow through because that's just the reason why i did it. if i didn't, i would never do it. or maybe that's just how i look at it.
well i know i sound like a total christian nut. but talking to ray made me realize alot about myself. i have alot of chances to help people. i have alot of chances to allow people to hear about GOD. but i never use my chances, because i am afraid of what they may say about me. i suppose it's this that really keeps me away. i am afraid of him, but i know in my heart that i shouldn't be ashamed. or maybe it's the fact that i've always been some how ashamed of my own family, maybe because i know that i love them....and i'm ashamed of loving. because i'm afraid to hurt. maybe that's why. but i can't deny the fact that i don't take the chance to see if someone would run away from my bluntness of a christian.....i should not be afraid....why am i??? why??? it's easier to have a gun pointed at my face and say i am a christian to a complete stranger than to say it to someone who is willing to listen to me because i am a friend....why is it sooo different?
well n e whoo, my strength comes from GOD. he is the only one that always gives me the strength to go on and move on and look past what happens. i am a very small minded girl and i am very meticulous in alot of stupid things. i am very "small aired" so to speak. but GOD is slowly gradually teaching me to accept and be more open minded.
i have finally understood that for me to be the way i am now, i must have faced what i did as a kid. in order to try to love everyone, i must have been hated to understand how it feels. i mean, GOD works many many curious ways.....and you only see them when you look back.
shopping again tom with cat!!! yeah yeah!!! keke^^:D:P i'm afraid to take the bus......but meh......bus ain't that bad....taken it many many times before.
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