hm....should i buy a new bed....i want a loft bed...either that or a bunk......but i've looked...the cheapest one soo far that i found was like 80, and that was like the crappiest material, with like no warrenty for it. and on the other hand. i found this fabulous one for only about 200, so including tax and all close to about 250ish or so cause off all those fees and such. hm....should i or should i not? i mean, i never really had much of a childhood....and now, i want to make up for all that lost time, i know i never will be able to, but i can try as i might. no sighing. i must not sigh.
there is such a major difference as when i'm feeling down and writing thoughts and when i'm feeling happy and writing thoughts. it's weird...
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Love never fails.
Wednesday, March 24, 2004
i notice one more thing. in my life time, i have bonded to many people. but bonding with all the wrong reasons until the recent few years. this world isn't all about the wants, but instead of the needs of a person. i have come to accept the fact that some people in your life are those that just come in and maybe leave. but then there are those people that are in your life and created to stay in your life. after leaving highschool, (just thinking about it gives me tears) i will have many memorable times. there are some things that i know i shouldn't have done, and then there are those that i wished i had done......but not regretting that i didn't do anything. i never regret. i don't believe in flaws. well i do....but only one big flaw....and there cannot be another flaw after that. you wanna know what i think the flaw is? here goes. adam and eve were perfect humans. but GOD know they'd fall short of the glory of him, in other words, sin. therefore, every human after adam and eve would never be perfect. so in a sense, we are perfectly flawed. perfect not being always right though, instead perfect because it's the way humans are supposed to be, perfectly flawed. i know my explaination for it is like really bad, but if you know me, you'll know what i mean
hm.....now i just think way too muchie....analyze everything way too muchie. take tooo muchie to my heart. hm. i heart you? hm....i love you? hm....man....some people really shouldn't say i love you unless they mean it. i mean, friends can say it to friends, but only if they truly care for the person. sighs sighs. i hate to be miserable for the rest of my life......but "knowing today's business doesn't mean we'll see the future". chinese expression. keke^^ man. well, my parents said the funniest things about my other good asian friend. keke^^ i told her about it so she wouldn't be offended if i posted it here. well, i was eating some sort of herbal honey stuff, that she totally hates, and on the other hand, i loved. i told my parents this and they were like, "man, how can you people be such good friends? two asians, but one is obviously way chinese, like a total proud canadian born chinese, where as the other asian, is just purely white candian only with asian skin? man, i just don't get it." keke^^ i mean, of course i couldn't really write it down word for word, but isn't that funny if you really think of it? it's true, why do two opposites attract soo well? but on the other hand, my best friend is almost like me in every way but opposite all at the same time....whack....
opposites in this world do always attract. but you see....opposites with no force of acceptance is nothing at all.....will just repell like the same. see, some people hate me cause they don't understand me, but others love me because they just don't. and i see why. others that don't understand me are those that are opposite from me, but they don't want to learn me, but rather accept the fact that i'm different. whereas those that don't like me, they want to know me too well and it confuses them causing a rip in relationship and makes them more mad because they just don't get me.
when people learn to accept the differences, you make sooo many more friends. it's not about the people you know, but the quality of the relationship. it's fun sometimes to get close with someone and feel freaked out about all the similarities or differences at times. but heck, that's the point of relationships....you do all the figuring of each other out before you become romantically involved. plus...only 16....17 in august...so you know what?!?!? it dun matta cause i finally don't care to be singo.....keke^^
opposites in this world do always attract. but you see....opposites with no force of acceptance is nothing at all.....will just repell like the same. see, some people hate me cause they don't understand me, but others love me because they just don't. and i see why. others that don't understand me are those that are opposite from me, but they don't want to learn me, but rather accept the fact that i'm different. whereas those that don't like me, they want to know me too well and it confuses them causing a rip in relationship and makes them more mad because they just don't get me.
when people learn to accept the differences, you make sooo many more friends. it's not about the people you know, but the quality of the relationship. it's fun sometimes to get close with someone and feel freaked out about all the similarities or differences at times. but heck, that's the point of relationships....you do all the figuring of each other out before you become romantically involved. plus...only 16....17 in august...so you know what?!?!? it dun matta cause i finally don't care to be singo.....keke^^
you know.....sometimes many people say pop songs couldn't be more far from the truth. but coming to read of the lyrics in "toxic" ...(stupid over played frikin song) this song directly like relates to the way people feel. some people choose to see more but choose to be more reckless and more uncaring of things in the world. this is what happens. it's toxic, it feels soo good and right, but all your doing is harming yourself. and this is what happens when you are with the wrong person at the wrong time. two wrongs don't make a right. love is good and right and pure, but loving something wrong doesn't make it right. now, hating something is bad, but hating something that is wrong isn't right either. i mean, you should stay far far from doing something or seeing whatever is causing that thing to be wrong. but you can't hate it cause well....hate.....is just way tooooo strong of a word....
hm...hate britney spears......songs tooooooo catchy though...stupid tv commercial.....buying new furniture for my new room....you'll see. hm....trust me, i'll open my house to you people in new brown town l8a....
"Toxic"
Baby, can�t you see
I�m calling
A guy like you
Should wear a warning
It�s dangerous
I�m fallin�
There�s no escape
I can�t wait
I need a hit
Baby, give me it
You�re dangerous
I�m lovin� it
Too high
Can�t come down
Losing my head
Spinning �round and �round
Do you feel me now
With a taste of your lips
I�m on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I�m addicted to you
Don�t you know that you�re toxic
And I love what you do
Don�t you know that you�re toxic
It�s getting late
To give you up
I took a sip
From my devil's cup
Slowly
It�s taking over me
Too high
Can�t come down
It�s in the air
And it�s all around
Can you feel me now
With a taste of your lips
I�m on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I�m addicted to you
Don�t you know that you�re toxic
And I love what you do
Don�t you know that you�re toxic
Don't you know that you're toxic
[x2]
With a taste of your lips
I'm on a ride
You're toxic I'm slipping under
With a taste of a poison paradise
I'm addicted to you
Don't you know that you're toxic
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
I think I'm ready now
Intoxicate me now
With your lovin' now
I think I'm ready now
i used to want to learn to not love anyone or anything. but the more i see and think about it, the more i want to love as many people in my life as possible. sighs sighs. but i can't say anthing and hate anyone. well....wantingto love you, but your actions inflict so much pain to my heart. i try and i try, but i find that my trying has becoming like my nature. i can'tmeet you without loving you. i can't get to know you without loving you. i can't sleep not loving you.....not talking about anyone in general. it's just a general statement to everyone. sighs sighs.....
don't want to think, no i'm not taken....don't worry....if i was taken...i woulda told you by now. plus....i am taken....taken in spirit....so yeah. but at the present moment.....i don't care to be single n e more....weird aye? yeah.....weird. people that i've liked before, i no longer like any more. all my friends now, i hold closer and dearer to my heart. there's soo much that people don't know about me. there's soo much that i could tell them. but then to the world, they wouldn't care if i told them or not. but does that all matter if they care or not? they may not care, but then what if they were bored and had the heart to pay atention? well then it's good for me.
yeah girl. i know you rarly ever read this....i know....but i still must say....he still likes you. he's jealous of what he has never got. sighs sighs. maybe it is my fault. unlike common belief, i am not the bringer and causer of all trouble. but instead, i bringthe dark to light, that may be why some people say i'm the causer of trouble.
hm. some people say i act like a guy. hm...maybe that's true. but acting like someone i'm not doesn't mean that i am that way. keke^^ it's funny. i choose to dress the way i do. i don't like to dress very girlly like. it's weird. i'm guyish you can say that. i don't mind. why? cause let's say i stick out of the crowd. keke^^ i have friends. i make people feel comfortable where they are. keke^^ i make people laugh, smile and want to be happy. there are some of those people that just don't understand love. keke^^
but what can i say???
yeah girl. i know you rarly ever read this....i know....but i still must say....he still likes you. he's jealous of what he has never got. sighs sighs. maybe it is my fault. unlike common belief, i am not the bringer and causer of all trouble. but instead, i bringthe dark to light, that may be why some people say i'm the causer of trouble.
hm. some people say i act like a guy. hm...maybe that's true. but acting like someone i'm not doesn't mean that i am that way. keke^^ it's funny. i choose to dress the way i do. i don't like to dress very girlly like. it's weird. i'm guyish you can say that. i don't mind. why? cause let's say i stick out of the crowd. keke^^ i have friends. i make people feel comfortable where they are. keke^^ i make people laugh, smile and want to be happy. there are some of those people that just don't understand love. keke^^
but what can i say???
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