hm, will i ever go bak to the phase in which i care about nothing and no one, not even myself? i dont' know, time and time agian, i just wanna run away and never come bak into the world which i am now in. yeah, at times, i'd rather just ditch myself and never come bak. it's good is it not? at least then, no one hurts meh, or has hurt meh or can hurt meh. maybe i should just hide behind that 1000 mile wide brick wall. or live in a glass bubble that can break oh sooo easily, but hurts every bit of the way when broken. yeah, stupid thoughts, bak to i don't know, being depressed i suppose. yeah, teachers and counsellors all think dat dere may just be sumthing wron gwith meh, or just at least the way i live. yeah, everyone wants the best of meh, well let's say this, not everyone, just most people. dere are dose people dat would just rather see meh dead den n e thing else, and even den, at my funeral dey would not come. yeah, i don't think i will have a funeral, i'd rather just burry myself alive, knowing the fact that i have people care fore mhe, and dat dey would prolly never ever find meh till it's way too late.

yeah, i think i've gone insane now. i don't like the company of others, i can''t tolerate touch n e more. well besides the odd behaviours of poking people and such, i have problems. yeah, i don't know what, where and why, i just do.

i hate the way i am, but simply just stating it don't change n e thing, i am the way i am, no matter how much i like it or not. so yeah,

i'm freezing at the presnt moment, my toes are purply, my fingertips as solid and cold as ice. my hair as greasy as the frying pan, and my eyes, as blood shot as a bull who sees red. yeah. whack i'm tired. wanna fall asleep hm. well dere's a few ways to torture myself. but i don't wanna participate in n e it.

i'd go bak on drugs, but den again, i know my body dun need dat extra junk, i am always high even without it. well i'm gonna go bak to my hmwk now.

i just wanna collapse in ur arms, never let go, and stay there for eternity.

hm.....arg......well i'm upset...as usual. hahaha=>:D yeah, skool just doesn't cut it, nothing will cut it. hahah=>:D:P da greatest thing in the world to happen is well....i don't know rite now.....i'm confused and unhappy.

hm.....just calm down and relax. hahaha=>:D:P people take my sincerity as an act of trying to hard? den well dose people can just fuck off. yeah, no betta words den to say, fuck da hell off.

i'm not trying to be n e one i'm not, if you can't tolerate my willingness to care, then dat's ur problem, not mine. arg. so yeah, whateva.

can someone honestly tell meh if they think i try to hard? someone that doesn't have a biased against meh. hm. if misery is what i'm supposed to feel because i care, then honestly, dere is sumthing wrong, because caring should feel good, not miserable. but i know dat everyone gets hurt, hm....

it's not a front, not a mask, if it was, i wouldn't get hurt if i cared. but honestly some people really don't understand. yeah, what? i'm immatrue because i can care? hahaha=>:D:P it's funnay, but it's not sooo funnay that it makes meh laugh all my insides out....so yeah. whateva.

well i gotsta go....l8z people.....