why do you haveta be this way? can't u answer urself? i wanted to change you? oh really, why? because i cared? what the fuck are you implying? because ur afraid to get hurt by others, it doesn't mean that some aren't willing to take that risk. yeah, you and me weren't meant to be friends, it's just not worth it. i'm not gonna try to hold on to air n e more. obviously u were never my friend, because obviously if you were my friend you'd respect me. it's not my fault ur an angry bastard of a guy. it's not my fault that u have ur problems. but it's my problem that you yelled at meh because i just cared and missed you. it's my problem that i'm angry at you. it is my problem that i wanna kill the living daylight outta you. it's my problem that i have begun to loathe you. i never say people have a flaw, but you on the other hand, ur an exception. u have a major flaw that you don't control. u think ur soo right and that you have the power to yell at people, well i'm yelling at you bak now, u jerk!

i will never forgive you, i will make sure i will never talk to you. obviously since you really don't care either, why should i bother to talk to you aye? bastard!

hate you but loved you first, but now i will never love you bak. u don't notice that i'm not a bad kid. you don't notice n e thing about n e one, cept urself. u are a bastard. u have friends, don't count meh as one, cause ur not mine....u are nothing more to me but the dust beneath my feet. u get trampled over and over again. which i do not care at the present moment. i will prolly hate that i said these words, but my anger has become that immense feeling of hatred now. a hatred for everything pure and evil. i have no meaning to live for myself. i don't do n e thing right, but yet i do everything wrong.

everyone says they care, but really, their just selfish. i don't care. time and time again, lyphe has bit me in my ass more than once, and each and every time, i just let it go and say fine, that's just how lyphe is. now i don't care. i'll be that insensitive little bitch. since obviously no one has the time to talk to me. no one. yeah. GOd does, but blah. arg! i don't care. it's not like n e of you do.

yeah i have major mental issues, u have problems? go screw urself. no one reads my thoughts n e more, why? because they are all the same thing. you want to know what? nothing helps n e more. i'm that kid that longs to jump over that bridge. i long to be like that gurl who jumped off the mountain so her wish would be fulfilled. i long to jump that mountain wishing that everyone will have a better lyphe without me. i seem to only cause trouble. i seem to only cause inconveniences. i seem to only bring pain. i seem to only be able to cause pain for those around meh and pain for myself. what kinda lyphe is dis? i can't take this shit n e more. i swear, if this is the way my lyphe wuz planned by GOd, then i'd rather just be killed this very instance and stare death straight in the eyes. i'd rather be shot in the brain and live and not know n e thing that i do or say. then maybe i won't even feel n e thing at all besides peace at mind since most of it is prolly damaged. yeah, my head hurts now, since obviously my daddy couldn't control himself.

yeah i'm that bad daughter no one wants. yeah, everything's always my fault. yeah as matt would say, wuz up with all this self-pity shit? well one things for sure, i'm full of shit. i'm full of self-pity. i'm full of it. i can't take n e of this n e more. i don't wanna live. i've lost hope in myself. i don't see n e more rainbows. i see no more clouds. all i see is darkness. darkness creaping in on meh like a blanket of cold night. i don't want light, i'll embrace the dark. maybe i'm meant to be this way? i don't care. i'm just hurt. and i can't seem to describe what i wanna say, so maybe i shouldn't say it. maybe i shouldn't post my thoughts. maybe i shouldn't do n e thing n e more. obviously the only thing that i do is doing nothing and hurting others....total bs. mentally, i've already jumped that cliff of no return. spiritually, i'm only held on to by a thin peice of silk string. physically, i'm a walking zombie which has no lyphe of it's own. sighs...