jenny, no, u are wrong. i do not fear to be heartbroken, i just wish not to experience it again, not that i'm afraid. i don't want to go through any more pain then i have already gone through. i have never had a good life even till this day. i still get abused, not just verbally from friends, but harassment from random people on the street, physical abuse from my parents.....sighs sighs. unseen stress in my lyphe, i really will go crazy, but yet i am not. i am more sane, but almost insane. like love and hatred, so is insanity and sanity, it is only defined by one thin line. i am that line......one more push and i'll be insane, but yet one push another way, and i'd be completely sane. sighs sighs. being insane is a mental condition. it's genetic so what some people say. can you prove that it is or isn't? oh yeah, by the way, i don't believe that some breakups are meant to be. i don't believe that there necessarily has to be break ups. so yeah. if two people honestly really wanted to make things work out, you wouldn't break up ever, and by the end, u'd marry each other. it's just because people are selfish, they don't wanna try. so yeah.....sighs sighs......

troubled, am i troubled? yeah, a question that people ask me because i sigh sooo much and so hard. sighs sighs. i don't know what is troubling meh, all i feel is as if i am troubled. as if i'm being squeezed or sumthing. sighs sighs. i'm tired, but all i've been doing is sleeping. i'm awake, but all i want to do is sleep. i talk, but am not heard. i love, but not loved in return.

sighs sighs. i look at you so happy, and all i want to be is like you, but i know i shall never be. yeah, GOD did create me differently. he has shown me that i am different. he has shown me that i'm not perfect, but i'm not that badly off. he has shown meh that much. he has shown me that i don't have a perfect life, but i have a satisfactory life.

it's not satisfactory, it's enjoyable. he has never raised meh in insecurities, even when i was in pain, trouble and suffering, i was raised upon firm ground. that's what i see. i had struggles, but only when i tried to run away from the firmness of where i stood. i never understood why i wanted to run, i just did. till this day, i am still taunted by it. i do not fear death, i do not fear pain, i do not fear harshness, instead, i imbrace it. yeah it's true, u know it too, if i threaten to do something out of anger, my anger is normally always going to stay. i do forgive, but i don't forget necessarily. sighs sighs. i want to forgive you, but yet even with the unseen knife that you cut me with, it's soo deep, that my scar still remains even till this day. it's been months and months since, but yet i cannot forget the pain.