okayz...pleaz don't mind the profanity in the next few sentences. fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. shit shit shit shit shit shit. arg......this is a mother fucking peice of shit, i don't need this crap. fuck! really, what the hell is with it with my parents telling meh the same thing.

u've been a christian for sooo long, blah blah, what part of you seems to be christian? man, maybe dat's why i hate church. maybe that's why i hate being me. maybe it's just because i hate everything and everyone. arg!!!!

yeah yeah, my daddy has like liver problems, doctors says it mite be cancer, but to be sure, he hasta loose 10 pounds and see if his liver is still bad. yeah. and they always say that i won't cry if either of them died. will in hell they regret those words ever? they never ever will regret. they don't understand how much it hurts them. arg. do they actually think i have no heart at all? just because i can't seem to be as close to them as i am with my friends, does it mean that i love them not? what the fuck has my parents gotten into? i just wanna run away, and i don't care if i never come bak. yeah, seems to me that i have the same problem as my dad, just that my liver is still in great shape. as i've said, cancer runs in the family, i think my mommy had cancer before.....just very minor. so yeah. i won't be surprised one bit. i wanna just run away. i hate it. i can't ever be happy for long. my lyphes a fucking peice of shit, but i still have it alot betta den lots of people. maybe it's not a piece of shit, it only feels that way cause people always drag me down below that pit. arg!!!!! upset!!! going insane. arg!!!!! must calm down. i don't want another anxiety attack. arg!!! i'm finding it kinda difficult to breathe now. arg! i just haveta calm down. i hate being emotionally stressed. over just one simple thing, something repeated sooo often, i still get pissed off soo badly. GOD's always there for meh, but really, why does he let my parents say shit like dat to me? he knows it hurts me. does he make em notice dat it hurt me? da only thing i've ever done wrong is one thing that i have never been able to change for so long. a problem which my family thinks i have. a problem with speech. i have a complex when it comes to talking to my parents. arg!!! maybe i do when it comes to my parents. yeah, because everytime they do sumthing, it just stabs, no jabs a wooden stake rite into me. yeah, i remember everything, good and bad, but u noe....bad'll always stick out more for the reason being because they are bad.

GOD said not to hold grudges, so i won't. GOD said i shouldn't let my anger go beyond the light of the sun, so i won't. yeah, i'm not christian, i don't talk about GOD, i don't talk to him, i don't treasure him. yeah. bunch of bs. arg!!!!