yeah, i update my thoughts alot everyday. but u really think i wanna? if i had people to talk to, den i wouldn't need to be like sooo pissed off all da time. if i had someone to confide in, den at least dat lil bit of stress would be taken away. yeah yeah, i hate natalie....but at da same time, she's still a friend. only being is, because she'll never understand what i've gone through. yeah, she says pain is nice, yeah, hell. it's not nice when u've been living it everyday of your darn fucking lyphe. yeah. excuse the profanity. i'm just pissed off rite now. this whole day is like going bad for meh, and so it shall forever be. i suppose this is one of the days when dinner goes well, but everything else wasn't. yeah. one of those stupif damn fucking days dat just get to me. arg! still have chem hmwk. too lazy. arg!!! going insane. arg!!!

my dad doesn't understand dat my pc like overheats cause da fan sucks. my daddy doesn't understand dat i'm a neat person even doe i may seem to live in a mess. my daddy just doesn't understand a bit of what i gurl my age wants. i ask of very little. just to leave me a lone, what every typical teenaged gurl wants. yeah. i'm typical, so what? bite my ass!

yeah, when i said i wish i was white last night when i was mad, u noe what? i haven't asked for dat since i wuz like 6 or 7. that tells you alot. yeah. i snap. but obviously people don't know how much their stupid words and stupid actions mean to me. yeah.

hm. if you are ever to read this, tell winston that well.....i still owe him that song, and that i've written a version for it, but he hasta come and help meh cause i'm not making it by myself. it shouldn't be all my work, even though he wants it as a present. yeah. i have it, but not written....he'll haveta learn to write music himself, since he says he already knows how. yeah, i'm mad, i'm mad at everything. what can you do? yeah, bite me! troubled? i'm troubled?!?!? yeah, in hell i am. i pity the person who just wants to take everything so damn fucking easy. yeah, the easy path ain't always the greatest way. i pity the person who just wants everything to be taken lightly, that makes you darn fucking stupid and careless. in careless, i mean, u have no heart to care about those who actually need the attention and like heart of another person. in pity, and in spite, i can say alot of things that will effect the relationships i have between alot of my friends. yeah, i say i trust you, and in fact, i do, can i deny that, no i can't. but does that mean i want to trust you? no it doesn't necessarily mean that i haveta, just that i do. i get hurt by everyone i trust and it is better not to trust because you noe they will fail you in lyphe at one time or another, but does it mean that one should stop trusting altogether? yeah. i'm going bak to the vicious cycle of lyphe that likes to bite my ass harder in the evenings than in the morning.

yeah, my family are people i can't agree with. maybe because we're all just too stupid to find some common ground. my mommy just wants to show meh the love she has, but in return, i just don't want n e of it. because i just can't handle it. yeah. i can't help it. i can't help it, i love that she loves me, i love the fact that she is my mother, but yet i despise everybit of me because of her and everyone else in my family. yeah, with strangers, i will always be closer to them then my family. yeah, it's not the right way to go in lyphe, but u think i can help that don;t you? well give me a psychiatrist. sue me why don't you. then i could sue u bak for emotional damage for the previous sueing statement. it's just an ass biting cycle that you haveta learn to agree with