ah!!!! i miss ya!!!! ah!!!! if you noe who you are, i miss you soo muchie!!!!! arg arg!!!!! going insane. ur always on away. and when you do talk to me, it's for those brief moments before or after din din. arg arg!!! but i suppose it's teaching me sumthing, that i cannot rely on ne one except myself.

i hate it when my parents always bring GOD into our lectures. yeah yeah, it's not like i haven't heard it about millions of times now. arG! have i done something wrong to be yelled at everynite these past weeks? am i so wrong that i can't do n e thing right? what is wrong with me? arg! i'm prolly even failing skool now.

yeah u noe what? i pity myself. what winston said was very right, but i will not prove it. i'm being stubborn and trying to fight the urge to like skip skool. fighting the urge to just call the quitz. i'm fighting the urge to yell at people because i'm upset and tormented inside. i'm fighting the urge....the urge to what??? i don't know. i just noe that i did bad, didn't try...and that feeling, i've gotten used to it.

u noe, i have like an average iq? it's kinda kool. well gifted children have an iq of 135 or higher....and my iq....is a few marks below that.....only 125 though.....kinda low.....but the average is 118. well according to the iq test i took on line. you can't really ever tell if it's accurate or not. at least i noe i ain't too dumb. but wish i wuz smarter. but GOD made me the way i was just for a reason. and i suppose that's why i have really bad study habits, because i've never really needed to lift a finger in my entire lyphe. arg! i'm anger. now i don't even noe what n e more. does n e one wanna invest in buying me a nice big teddy bear that's nice to hug for me ma? cause i'kinda going nuts and i need sumthing to hug. yeah it's great of me that i learn to take out my emotion on something more constructive such as a hug that can build up someones esteem and not a punch or a kick like i used to.

will n e one invest money on me? i doubt it. but whatever. it could be a surprise. whateva. i'll invest in myself then....since no body really has much faith in meh n e more, since i have no faith in myself. yeah, i noe i'm capable to do much if only i tried, but the problem is, i'm not that type of person to stick around doing the same thing over and over again. i just can't handle it. and so, in the same sense, skool ain't for meh, but yet i need order in my lyphe. so i do not know