those who actually read my thoughts. or at least those i want to read my thoughts. i just wanna say i'm sorry. sorry for being such a depressing piece of sh!t. i really should learn to get over things more quickly. i really should stop caring bout soo much. i'm falling....falling....falling....and hit the bottom the the pit which i thought wuz bottomless. i've fallen soo far under ground that it's sooo cold i can't feel n e thing. and i'm serious. i guess all who've actually fallen down soo deep would noe what i mean. my mind runs to thoughts of suicide. SUICIDE......a thought always on my mind. i'm one of the most suicidal peeps i've ever known in my own lyphe. but i never take action.....and i guess u peeps who want meh to live should be glad dat i dun take action. those who want meh here, i'm glad that u do. those that get mad because i'm a depressing piece of sh!t.....well i'm glad that u care bout sumthing.

i've never felt sooo useless in my lyphe!!! even when i wuz about to like jump off the cliff!!! and i mean never!!!! never have i!!!!! i guess in da same sense, i let myself fall soo far down. i'm just a big lazy ass that takes no action. i'm soo contridictory. very. rite at this moment, i feel nothing, but everything at the same time. i hate everything, but yet i still love. weird aye??? i can't really describe it. i guess i just let things get to meh and dun do n e thing to stop it from getting to meh. i feel like an idiot and anyone who noes meh noes dat i ain't da brightest star, but nor am i very dull. i can still spread light. my light is still dim. i dun let myself shine too bright, but why do i do that? can n e one answer dese stupid q's for me? i guess not, considering dat i am me and i will always be me and only i can answer these questions. maybe i should be like a person who goes on a quest. a quest to search for myself. sound soo good. i believe i'm just in dat stage of lyphe where everything is blown out of proportion. maybe i should stop knowing and put all thins knowledge into action. shouldn't i? i'm the biggest liar and hypocrite u'll ever noe or see. and that i'm sooo serious of. hahaha=>:D in a few days, u can already jump to the conclusions that i'm the most depressing piece of sh!t u've ever met, u ain't wrong, but u ain't completely rite eitha. i have many happy times, i should live in the moment, and when i do, i noe dat i have a good lyphe. i have tons of peeps dat'll always care bout me. i have tons of peeps dat are always ere for meh.

all to the end, i'm going to jump off the cliff, but u peeps who still care are extrememly lucky, i have a bungy cord to pull meh bak up. so hold ur breath. the scarry part ain't jumping. it's if the rope snaps. just watch and see. i guess my cord are my friends, my family, my faith. so therefore, u peeps have nothing to fear, love never fails, faith never dies.