my thoughts.....hm....am i thinking about n e thing??? am i thinking about n e one? am i even thinking at all??? well i am. hahaha=>:D
last nite, concert.....a few words.....awesome.....but boring. totally kid infested. i will never go again.
2 on the way bak to churchie.....walk....what a walk....got abandonned by a few of my guy friends...how great aye??? i guess i'm used to being abandonned....in lyphe...i've been ditched enuff times to be used to it. everyone thinks i'm mad because dey ditched meh, but u noe what???i wuzn't.....i wuz mad at da thought dat i abandonned myself.....i've let all my dreams, all my hopes....all my lyphe fade away into da scenery.... i no longer am myself for i've just blended into the bakdrop. yeah....i'm kinda pathetic, i noe dat.....am i happy now?? is dis da way i wanna live??? this is just a stage.....just a stage.....i must not prolong it. it is just a stage.
right now....i just need a new beginning....one without memories, nothing of the past. yeah....very unrealistic....i just haveta learn to live wit it. yeah yeah...like i haven't been told dat a few times. stupid. oh wellz. whatever. hahaha=>:D lyphe goes on with or without acknowledgement of the past. if others can walk through all their memories and live, den i think i should be able to live through it rite? wellz.....trying to be optimistic, but of course....my futile attempts just fail.....because dat's what futile means. useless. yeah....i'm useless....but i am constantly being used. used as a friend....used as a daughter....used as a student.....used
u want meh happy??? dere's no way dat's gonna happen....i set myself up for a fall....and now i'm falling....falling constantly.....maybe a here and there where i'm able to grasp something, but not for long.....my strength is not enuff.
i love lyphe....yet i hate it.....it gives meh stregnth, but it also makes meh weak. i am constantly just a weak image of a gurl dat i used to be. i'm just an image. dat's all dat i just am. i'm just a bag of carbon wrapped in what u would call skin. depressing aye? well i am depressing....live wit it.....yeah...l8a