damn i'm stupid....
lately, i've watched out for all my emotional and mental needs....not sufficing the needs of the physical body
now i have health problems, at risks for other things
grrr......
what shall be of meh???
is this all a consequence? have i been too deep in thought and have neglected da body to a point of distruction???
i'm confused...more confused than ever...
pain which is supposed to hurt because of infection no longer hurts, but instead, brings a thrill....a thrill of lyphe
yeah...i sound weird and very suicidal, but mind ya....i am.....just dat i will take no action into killing myself.
i may be one of the most suicidal peeps you know...may not be....
bak to the pain....it gives meh a thrill of lyphe...
yeah in a sense it does in a sense...pain is just pain....it'll hurt no matter what...
hahaha=>:D the physical pain may like totally hurt someone else...but to meh.....i mite scream and shout only to cause attention...so yeah...blah blah...
the thrill i receive from actually feeling pain is kinda incredible. since this pain i feel is not a pain that i inflict on myself, but is caused because of my actions not intentionally...it's just the consequence of my reactions...but the thing is....i've never felt soo alive.
it's kinda funnay....i'm kinda still on the thrill ride of pain and is kinda hyper hyper about it.
i'm actually quite happy having a stupid infection and other problems. yeah....peeps say i should be afraid of death...but the thing is....the close it is...the higher the thrill....this only being the fact that the more conscious of death is to you, the closer u hold on to lyphe. until you totally let go of your lyphe den dere you know that you'll know you let go. you don't wanna live...ur killing urself....

well whatever...dat's all i have to say.....stupid thoughts...l8a