subconsciously, i do not notice dis, but since someone's mentioned it to meh, i've just noticed it within myself.

well everytime ur name is mentioned, i have this funnay look on my face.
every time something dat reminds meh of u, makes meh laugh.
every word that is spoken dat clicks with a memory makes meh think of the past
every action that is done towards meh that reminds meh of what i had, i start to cry.

well i guess it's normal. but i've let my past, my memories, and my thoughts get the best of meh.
i've let it take hold of what i should not have past as nothing.
my nickie on msn at da present moment says dis
~-:-~Kimi o ai shiteru~ -:-~no such thing as a dream come true...all i've ever faced are nightmares...www.sabbygurl.blogspot.com/

kimi o ai shiteru meaning i love u.........den saying no such thing as a dream come true, all i've ever faced are nitemares is really quite contridictory. i just dun get it.....i've faced worst struggles in lyphe....when things were ACTUALLY falling apart, but now.....everythings well and great and almost fantastic to soo many people. wha da heck is wrong wit meh??? i've seemed to have lost my own way and da knowledge of myself??? it seems to me dat i am trying to be someone else who i am not intended to be. i'm trying to be the person who everyone wants meh to mold into. but i guess i'm just a peice of clay dat is untouchable accept by GOD. i cuss and i curse, i'm easily mad and frustrated. i'm stuborn and at times i'm extremely stupid. i'm innocent, but have been very corrupted. i have been left to survive, but am killing my own self. i had an image, but have lost it. i've let the standards of everyone get to meh. arg!!! what a pain in da a to da double s?!?!?! oh wellz. ain't all bad. at least i noe what i am and what i ain't.

in this world, we are created to love, but yet time and time again, we choose to hate. i have choosen a path of hatred, and i must say.....soo pointless. but den again...when u where colored shades and look at things only from a certain view point....everything is pointless. i must say......i'm kinda very very stupid.......i write stupid things. have stupid thoughts.....convey in people the thoughts they never thought they had. Yet time and time again, i noe my thoughts aren't original, every one has gone through a time in their life being dis way or dat. well den again...i must say dat everyone is a liar. if u say u haven't faced a time of struggle, den ur lying to urself. but even if so, i envy the people who say they haven't. by experience, i noe dose peoples dat do say such stuff are as to seem to be da happiest people of my entire lyphe. i have never known many people with such great happiness. OH HOW MUCH I ENVY DEM!!!!....well either way....i ain't dat type of person....so why be someone i ain't intended to be????

yo bri boi.....happy yet?!?!?!? feeling n e betta?!?!?! lil sabby here is feeling much betta ar!!! hahaha=>:D but it dun really sound like it rite?!?!? sollie bout dat.....trying to get all my negative thoughts outta meh.....feels betta afta some time.....thanx for giving meh support......it means a lot to meh....

from time to time, i fall into a great depression of things....time and time.....i cannot help it. from time to time...it's just a hormonal imbalance or a chemical imbalance within my brain. then there are times dat i creat a monster of sadness within myself. i dwell upon all dat has happened. i let da things in da past or falling weeks to come get to meh. arg!!! i hate myself...but i love myself.....i love myself...but i despise myself....arg!!!! what i must say is dis.....da greatest enimy to oneself is urself...well meh going