lately, i have not been writing my thoughts on line...why??? causwe internet explorer has been messed up by my sister....hahaha=.:D

freaked ya out aye??? i didn't want to....i just needed sumone to run to....and well i dunno......normally when i have a bad time, i'm always running to my friends....hahaha=.:D thanx for always being there for meh....hehehe=>:D

abuse is sumthing i'm kinda used to....yeah i noe ur rite...under no circumstance should sumone hit meh....but well hahaha=.:D it's alrites.....i suppose it's just meh.....if i'm da first person to hit sumone....i will continue hitting....and i suppose that is the reason why i don't hit or kick n e one n e more.....cause i just allow my frustrations to not come out.....i just let em stay dere...cause i dun have control of my own emotions...sighs sighs. i'm soo weird....sighs sighs. i have no clue what to do....what must i do??

well u say i am broken, i suppose i am not, cause i'm just as happy and carefree as i wuz before. i'm used to it....just sumtimes...things just haveta come out and be shared. sighs. people like noticed my swollen arm and neck today.....and all i could say wuz i like slept funnay. oh wellz...sum things are better not heard than to be heard....oh wellz la. i have no clue.....i guess it doesn't really hurt that much. i suppose what hurts now is that i'm allowing all my anger to just build up. and i suppose that is why i breamk down soo often. i don't want that to be, my anger should be let out and spoken to GOD, the one who will take all that negative energy and make it into positive. hahahaha=>:D

what i hate beyond myself is being a hypocrite. i see this in myself. i'm a hypocrite. it's not that i don't do what i say, it's more like i do what i say and it just doesn't work. it's funnay how i wanna be a psychologist and such since i'm the one who needs most mental help. hahaha=.:D i cannot run to myself to like come for help. but of course....hahaha>:D i have support. never ending support from my friends and family. i suppose everyone is lonelyu in this journey of lyphe. but then again....as i think of it, no one is ever alone...even when they think that they are. i say that everyone is alone only being the thought that no one goes through the exact same thing as you at the exact same time. and even if you were...the cause for the action would always be different. hahaha=.:D i say you're never alone only being the thought that you will always have support....from n e one that you want it from....then u can have. but to achieve the support that you want, u must first work to have a relationship so you may have the support. everyone wants support....but not everyone sees the relationship that must be built before true understanding and c ompassions. i dunno if i'm making n e sense. but this is just a way to get my thoughts out i suppose. hahaha=.:D i dunno wuz wrong with meh, but all i can think about is my arm and my neck....what if sumone notices?!?!? oh wellz.....no one pays dat much attention. oh wellz. hahaha=>:D

thanx for caring....hehehe=>:D it means more than n e thing.....but in a sense....remember that some sorries actually mean sumthing.....not everyone says them and means nothing by em.....most people only say sorry because they feel guilty for the action that they did../;////....so i suppsoe in a sense.....i wanna say sorry for being the way i amd and for the things i must learn....but all together....i am thankful....hehehe=>:D