hahaha=>:D u noe i talked to jacky for an hour last nite. it wuz kinda funnay.....considering dat i dun talk to her much during the year, but during the summer, or at least this summer, we're like chill buddies, we're almost always togetha....hehehe=>:D sooo funnay, but i like dat....at least i have a companion, a friend, someone i trust to be with during this lonely, boring time of the year.

as i said, we talked.....i said sumthing like this.....most people that are extremely shy don't talk much because they are well....let's say....self conscious, lacking of self-image....so on and so forth. but the thing is here, u aren't lacking in image, bout being self-conscious.....at least around meh ur not....but dere is fear in all of us if we like to admit dat or not.

yeah....there are a few things that only cross a border line thinner than the size or ur nail u noe....for instance, insanity and genius.....happiness and total dispair (this being a totally whacky thing if u dun get what i'm trying to get at)......dere are a few more.....just rite now in the early morn.....i can't figure out how to put it....ask meh later....hahah=>:d

not all things are as easily accepted as one plus one. some things just seem different to others, and that's why it's hard to accept things....yeah......i noe...my entries always respond to urs for sum reason....blah....i have no original thoughts! haha=>:D j/ks j/ks.....well one thing that i noe.....what could be wrapped in a totally hideous manor could be the best gift of ur life.....being friendly is when u want to open up, not because someone is trying to open up to you. yeah.....in n e relationship as i've always said....it hasta be a two way thing where trust, love and all those other things are give, then received and then given bak with an unending cycle...and when the cycle ends....the relationship is kinda cut into tiny peices where it hasta be picked up and built bak.

yeah....in a gurl....at the age of sixteen......very suicidal.....suicide is constantly on my mind....but i will take no action into committing suicide.....i'd rather be in the statistics for death in car accident then for the column for killing themself. i wrote a will a few nites bak....constantly i revise and revise over.....it just seems to be sooo imperfect. fear.....it's sumthing to be conquered.....fear.....is sumthing that we must very much live with.....fear is the beginning of evil, but of all good too. people who are afraid of death either believe they have sumthing too good to let go, or/and they do not noe where they are going to go after death. i suppose that's the diff with meh.....i will never be afraid of death....maybe freaked out because of dreams that almost happened in real life....but death itself isn't soo freak a thought....just freaky when the time and moment actually happens. trust meh.....i could have died in like soo many car accidents this summer......the other car only missed my car by like a centimeter, or else are car would have be completely demolished.

heaven and hell worry alot of people.....but is there much to worry about....maybe it's the way i think.....live in the moment.....so yeah....u either go to heaven or hell.....it's as simple as that.....hell is just everything bad, but heaven is paradise....hey.....extreme spectrums aye? hahaha=>:D it'll be a new lyphe if you think about it....it's gonna be a new us.....all u live for here is in preparation of up there or down there......so whatever it may be......why suffer when you can enjoy yo?