my blood test results haven't come in yet. it's making meh worry.....oh wellz....maybe da blood test thingy is just well buzy......i dunno. i chose to take it.....cause my mommy thinx i have sum like vitamin and mineral deficiency......i dunno what to say.....i eat sooo muchie....gotsta do more exercise.....getting fatter.....sighs sighs.....yeah......confidence is first built up around those around you before you are able to step up for yourself....maybe it wun work for everyone....but at least for meh it works......hehehehe=>:D confidence in those around you leads you to do things betta for urself....or maybe ur one of those people that are extremely angry at the world....then you'd do everything by urself....no matta if you can't or not...

yeah.....i suppose if you read my entries, and read all my analogies....u'd notice a few things......i'm kinda very opinionated......u could notice that every time i talk about people, i talk about attitudes. if you hear meh out....everything's like a complain......yeah....i'm a complainer, dat's what i do best....but it dun mean dat i dun love, respect, and admire what you have done for meh or am to meh.

i like to give thanx....but my thanx comes out rarely......i should learn to thank because of the exsistance u have in my lyphe.....but normally that doesn't come out......i remember one time.....i wrote a letter.... a letter of thanx......and yet everyone thought i wuz just gonna die.....and dat was why i wrote it.....oh wellz.....i suppose i noe where dey going through.....hehehe=>:D what would be ur reaction if i wrote a thank you letter for just being there for me? some people were as quiet as hell....because the letter pulled em down.....some people tore up the letter not wanting to be rmember or feel just crappy things.....and sum people looked up after reading....gave meh a smile and said thanx bak......and yet there were some that kept the letter.....saved it for sum other time to read......and the next time i saw them.....they gave meh a hug.....hehehe=>:D aw.....how sweet....hahaha=>:D

crap, i think i lied. i said i moved on......but to others.....i dun think i have....hahaha=>:D what scale are they judging me by??? h wellz....no matter.......i think i lied when i said i didn't love you.....and i think i lied when i said i did.......hm......i'm writing as if ur the person....dun wollie.....u should noe who it is...at least....if you noe meh well enuff....which i think you do. hahaha=>:d well either way....the fact wuz....when i said i loved you the first time....it made meh confused.....had i read loved you??? but that cleared up my mind to tell meh i truly did......and when i said it to you the next time.....i did....but u didn't mean it when u said it to meh.......hahaha=>:D love is like the first thrill ride that you go on....some get addicted, some lose the passion, and some just continue to ride it even if it's boring. meh, i've lost that passion to ever feel that way i did.....i'm not saying that that thrill isn't there.....it's just not worth it....i said i dun give people second chances....but if you know meh well....u noe dat's a lie......i forgive sometimes toooo easily.....some would stay angry at you for a lyphe time.....but i'm not like dat.....i've had my shares of remorse and maybe a few regrets.....but everything's ova.....and everything's in the past....i shouldn't have loved you, but i did.....i shouldn't have hated you, but i did.....u couldn't cope with my caring....and u still can't look meh in the eyes.....ur afraid to see the pain i still have....i noe it.....cause i can't look u in eyes with happy eyes, i just can't let go........yeah, i still love you.....