sighs sighs.....feeling upset sumhow. sighs sighs. i'm waiting for people to come on, but everyone's like fallen asleep. sighs sighs. u'd expect meh to be happy to be home, but i'm extremely upset. sighs sighs.

going on vacation next week, but i don't really wanna go. i'm totally tired, i wanna sleep. i wanna do this, i wanna do dat, but i can't do n e thing. sighs sighs. i wanna just like go away and neva come bak.

i don't wanna run away, but i can't help it, i don't understand. sighs sighs...bak to a depression. sighs sighs. i wanna be happy, but i just can't smile. sighs sighs. can't or doesn't ne one wanna like go on vacation with meh.....sighs sighs. i wanna dunno

afta soo long, on de 18th, it'll be six months since.....i shoulda forgotten now....i shoulda not cared by now, but as each passing day comes and goes, i just feel worst. i dunno.....the company of friends dun even heal this pain n e more. sighs sighs. i dunno.....camping wuzn't too bad. but i still hate it. sighs sighs. i really can't stop caring....even for things i shouldn't care for. sighs sighs. where are you now? i just need you to question the things i already now. maybe i should just question myself. sighs sighs....i do think too much......i sleep sooo soundly......u wanna noe why??? cause i'm always exhausted.....exhuasted of what u ask??? well i'm exhausted of everything/......by everything, i mean everything. as i've said before.....i don't wanna run away, but i can't help it, i don't understand. sighs sighs......

by the time u come bak and read this, i'll prolly be sleeping, and by tom, i'll have swollen eyes because at te current moment i'm still crying....not crying in tears, but drowning my heart. the person i am now, i will be.

all i ask is couldn't u care more? and because i care, u were afraid, why? don't use my caring nature as an excuse to leave meh. but u've already left and gone. hey, dat's a good song lyric ain't it? but it's not a song, it's lyrics from my heart. hm.....maybe i'm soo afraid of being lonely, that now i can only long to be with someone. sighs sighs....pathetic, i define the word. i am the meaning of pathetic. but i'm a good person, maybe no the best, but a good enuff person to take up space ain't i? hm.....why do i always feel soo rejected? sighs sighs. man....i dunno what i long for n e more. i dunno what i care for n e thing....all i noe is dat i care and i long for too much...but i noe well.....if i stopped longing and i stopped caring.....people'll see the change. cause i wuz once like dat and changed to da way i am now. hahaha=>:D but i dunno....maybe dey mite not even care....all i noe is dat at da present moment i'm exhausted of da heat.....exhausted of who i am.....but i noe dat changing myself dis time is no help to my current state......i'm basically one exhausted, depressed lil gurl at the present moment....sighs. maybe i still have hope....i say i wanna be a psychiatrist, but maybe, i'm the one in need....but a psychiatrist is just a person who can listen...the only person who can help you is urself.....maybe i just need sumone soo bad dat all i long for is just dat....simple.....but da truth is....i have friends....i'm not a bad person outside my house.....