it's funnay, i don't know why, but i seem to be able to predict when i get sick, as if i wil myself to or sumthing. yeah i noe, ain't too healthy ain't i? hehehe=>:d oh wellz.

hahaha=>:d some people say i'm way too forgiving. people ask me why i have forgiven the same person who did meh wrong more than just once. they ask meh why i'm still friends or still around a person that is a total jerk to me. hm....and my answer is, i have no clue, i don't know. i just am. i just can't help it. especially now, i can't help but to forgive those that do wrong to me. i really don't know if it's a vulnerability or if it's just that i'm stupid or sumthing. maybe i rather like to forgive because i want to be forgiven. i don't know. i have no right to forgive.

mel u are right, i wasn't okay last nite. but afta talking to ya, i've gotten betta. i see dat i will still be his friend. u will always question why i'm a friend to a jerk, and maybe i'm just too loving or whateva, but i will. i will for no reason let go, because in meh, i feel it's not that time right to let go yet. i remember a saying. it's in chinese. when people seem to have no more hope, it's the time when they need other's hope the most. i don't know. i will for no reason just leave someone like how someone can and will. i enjoy being with someone so it gives meh comfort, and it destroys meh to hear that ur mad at meh, but really, is it my fault? it ain't. u just can't forgive the world, i can't point a gun at ur head so that you will. u just haveta let urself try to.

u may say that u are not afraid of n e thing, but really, if you see it my way, ur afraid of everyone. u are afraid to let go and get hurt. yeah, everyone i know says tears are the weakest emotion someone can have. really, to me, tears are something only the strong can do. yes, there are those that misuse the concept so that everything goes their way, but in the long run, only the strong can cry. yes, in the state of tears, you may be weak, but you may find that you have never been thinking soo strongly or clearly on certain thoughts.

i can't say i don't care, but i can't say i can care. all i can say is that i will care. you don't want meh to, so i won't be in ur face about it. u think i don't think......really, u obviously never had the time to understand me. what you thought i thought about wuz dumb. u think that i'm self-centered, who do you think you are? u are not GOD, and you had no right to say those things to meh, anger is still with meh, but my urging to forgive you is even greater. when will you get it that not everyone will forgive you? when will you understand that not everyone wants to forgive you for what you say to them? will you not finally find it in ur mind that u are not as great as you think you are? when will you notice that ur throne is not as high? u still think u are special.....it proves it because u yelled at meh....u think u were special enuff to yell at meh....well ur wrong....you don't see meh yelling at people about everything do i? i'm not a perfect person....but honestly.....u don't have to hurt meh.....u find enjoyment doing that don't u??? yeah...well i'll say dis....go suck ur dick! sollie.....can't help it....i am still angry at you...because you haven't learnt that i have changed...u haven't noticed that people care....u haven't noticed n e thing besides all about urself....u haven't noticed that there are some in this world that would give part of their world for you....obviously you just don't care about n e one cept urself.....yeah....go kiss ur ass because ur only worthy of ur own....i still love youe, but i'm still angry, not that you care n e .....yeah like u said to meh, for now i say this....fuck off, and when you want to talk to meh....i won't talk to you till i'm ready....so don't u even dare.....