hm, well, some people came when they were in grade five, some came when they were in grade four, some in grade 3. some in grade 6, some in grade 7. so on and so forth. yes, not a word of english, hm, yes, i suppose it hurts doesn't it? picture this, i didn't know word of english when i wuz in senior kindergarten. ever since then, i can't forget the way those people treated meh. yeah, they wanted to care, but they just didn't understand. one memory that i can remember ever so deeply is this one, i wuz walking up onto the bus, someone tripped meh, and i fell. yeah, falling isn't so bad, picture this though, on the first day of skool, and it wuz raining, so basically, the bus wuz muddy. u noe how i care about the clothes i wear, even as a little child, i hated getting dirty. it just wasn't my thing. and so add on to the fact that i couldn't speak english, i was dirty. i made no friends, i was always the girl sitting in the corner playing with marbles. i still have a collection of marbles, for the reason that it kinda reminds meh of my youth, that's why i don't even bother to look at em n e more. hm.....

now i've come to the conclusion, girls are more judgemental. it makes meh confused. i have never told n e of my most troubling problems to many girls. my whole lyphe, i've been that way, yeah, jean, bessie, claire and mel.....they used to be my very good friends, but bessie has her own set of problems. jean just doesn't know how to help. claire and mel, i've lost contact and it makes meh sad. i used to tell my problems to jean, but jean, she doesn't know how to help. she has her own set of problems, but she just doesn't know how to help. bessie does know how to help, but i can never go to bessie saying how i feel, cause she'll always be innocent happy bessie to meh, even though i know she isn't. claire and mel, i miss you people, mel, can you promise meh that we'll do sumthing this summer? sighs sighs. miss you soo muchie. claire, u've matured soo muchie. ur sooo pretty now. i mean.....physically and inwardly la. hehehe=>:D:P well bak to the point. last nite, i don't know what popped into my head, but i went bak to the past and just remembered a few things. i think i have a reason why i tell most of my guy friends the things that i tell em. let's see. in grade one all the way to grade 6, i've never had friends that were girls. i never fit in with the gurl crowd. they just never accepted meh as the person i was. instead, as everyone needs friends, the only crowd that ever accepted meh wuz the guy crowd. i wuz one of the guy's. sighs, that's prolly why i never found that guys were disgusting, because i had no friends, just guys. so yeah.

sighs sighs.