sighs sighs. hm. humans are cruel. what can you say? people always hurt each other. but even so, people hurt themselves. yes. a thrill. yes val, i was a thief, it was a thrill. i still do it sometimes. sighs sighs. i will not go clubbing with you. sighs sighs. the point is. i just don't like that scene anymore. and my parents sooo will not let me anymore. val, this is an apology you will never read. it's not the fact that i know your mommy more. it's just the type of person i am. i care to understand people. i care to know the people that i hang around with. my parents like my taste in friends. i'm kind of proud. my parents were saying how my friends seem to be more friendly than those of my sister. also, they thought that my friends are very polite and kind. keke^^

i have come to despise everyone. sighs sighs. it's not a phase. i do not like people that are not like me. like me, being those that are cbc's but are proud of their chinese heritage. sighs sighs. i'm hated by white because i'm tooo chinese.....and i'm hated by the chinese because i'm tooo white. well if you really say that. don't ever say i'm i'm too white.....i hate it. i mean, a white person can call me yellow, but don't dare call me white if you are yellow. i will honestly bite your head off. why you may ask...because i will hate you. because you look down on me because i'm more than whatever you can ever be.

sighs sighs. i'm too nice....and in this world, i am constantlybeing used for the way i care for everyone. i don't like to see hurt.....and yes, i want to cheer you up, but if you constantly use me, i know that you do. let's just say, you are not as nice as i am. i have no motive except to be nice. where as yours, you are nice to me because you want help with all your work. but no more. i will not tolerate it anymore. sighs sighs. i think tooo muchie. it's true. my mind is every moving. even in times that i should be resting. i do not. sighs sighs.

i miss you....but why should i miss someone that has no emotions towards me? why should i bother caring for those that don't care for me? but then again, that would just be being selfish. sighs sighs. well i'm going now. l8z l8z